“If you don’t like where you are in life, there comes a point when you must give up the part of you that’s keeping you back.” ~Dr. Sonya Friedman
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First, THANK YOU to Sacred Suzie for the beautiful pendant that is rushing on its way to me. It is homemade and it beautiful!! Click here to see it (it's the first one :D)
Well this week has been a week of reflection. I’ve been in some pretty light spots, and some pretty dark ones too. I’ve had the joy of witnessing the birth of a new friendship recently and I can say that it’s going well. I’ve had the misfortune to also see some depression this week return in me and that has kept my writing at bay.
The good news is that today all is well. It helps that the weather has been cooperating too, giving us some warm sun and warmer breezes to melt away all the snow.
For those who’s curiousity is peaked, yes, the friendship is with a male. A very nice man who will call Google Man (as Mrs. Virgo refers to him :P). He’s been quite the charmer and very attentive. I am enjoying this friendship and look forward to its continuing blossoming. You can never have too many friends in my book and I cherish all my friendships.
The bad news of the week is I’ve been turned down by a few jobs, one of which I was certain I was a shoe in for. It’s a bit disheartening considering that my days working at home are numbered as my health continues to get much better. I haven’t had a fever above 99.0 since last week, and my incision is COMPLETELY closed. No more packing, no more pain, hurrah! However, the end of the recovery (long road eh?) signifies a return to the office that I had hoped I would never have to return to… Life goes on eh? At least that’s my attitude today.
I have a few decisions to make in my life as of late and they’re big ones. Neither decision will prove to be a bad one, in fact they’re both decisions that have the potential to truly help me. But both of them would bring about additional debt. That’s something I really have to think about.
Through the very generous efforts of a some wonderful friends, I have been able to stave off a shift in direction as far as my credit goes. Thankfully I’ve been able to maintain a decent credit rating and now that things are continuing in an upwards direction, I can use some of that credit to my advantage. My two choices are:
Look for a house to move into this year (yes, my credit is good enough to qualify for a loan in that area, shocking eh?)
Or
Qualify for a student loan to further my education.
The debate is of the two debts I would incur, which would be the most beneficial now. If I take on a home loan, I take on increased monthly costs. Most mortgages will be over $1000 a month with assessment if a condo etc. I also would not be able to secure new employment as I would need to remain at my current place at least until the loan is finished.
The second option would mean I would be stuck in the same apartment for at least another year as I would not be able to renew my lease, however my rent wouldn’t increase. Plus I could secure different employment and be on my way in a positive direction with that while I increase my own potential getting my education.
They are tough choices. The first one of course is even deciding to accrue more debt. With respect to that, keep in mind no financial decision will be made today. Maybe not for another 6 months even, while I figure out the mess that the bomb of this cancer has left my finances in.
I feel like I’ve been stuck in some limbo hanging on to the psychological post traumatic stress over cancer, the surgery, etc. I’m trying to clear that up but in its place is the desire to do something with my life. Something new, some change, SOMETHING. And while no decision has truly been made yet, at least the thoughts are there.
I’ve also been doing some interpersonal work on myself as of late. After watching the secret and letting that stew in my mind, then seeing the follow up show that Oprah did about (I LOVE TIVO!), I’ve been more and more inclined to really examine a few things in my life. I haven’t gotten comfortable enough to “pick and choose” what I want from the catalog of life, but the idea of that doesn’t scare me so much now. I think the fear of picking is that verbalizing what I want helps reinforce it and that would mean change. Surprisingly as much as I do not mind change, it still scares me a bit.
My next post will be a very personal post. I’ve been working on it for a few days already and that alone should tell you how personal it will be. It’s one of those “Do I share it or not” posts. But true to my heart, and my vision I WILL share it. I think it’s good therapy to share your life with others, even in a blog where the whole world can see it if they choose. It makes it more ‘real” in some respects… validates it, if you will. But, it is deeply personal and requires a lot more thought than just the average message.
In the meantime, know that I am well. I’m getting better each day, and more aware, more out of my self imposed reclusion shell. I think of every one of you everyday and hope that you are all well. And I am grateful for all the candles being lit, the emails, text messages and love. I am very grateful for the love of my friends and family. I would not be here today if I didn’t have that.
Be well friends,
Muse
Well this week has been a week of reflection. I’ve been in some pretty light spots, and some pretty dark ones too. I’ve had the joy of witnessing the birth of a new friendship recently and I can say that it’s going well. I’ve had the misfortune to also see some depression this week return in me and that has kept my writing at bay.
The good news is that today all is well. It helps that the weather has been cooperating too, giving us some warm sun and warmer breezes to melt away all the snow.
For those who’s curiousity is peaked, yes, the friendship is with a male. A very nice man who will call Google Man (as Mrs. Virgo refers to him :P). He’s been quite the charmer and very attentive. I am enjoying this friendship and look forward to its continuing blossoming. You can never have too many friends in my book and I cherish all my friendships.
The bad news of the week is I’ve been turned down by a few jobs, one of which I was certain I was a shoe in for. It’s a bit disheartening considering that my days working at home are numbered as my health continues to get much better. I haven’t had a fever above 99.0 since last week, and my incision is COMPLETELY closed. No more packing, no more pain, hurrah! However, the end of the recovery (long road eh?) signifies a return to the office that I had hoped I would never have to return to… Life goes on eh? At least that’s my attitude today.
I have a few decisions to make in my life as of late and they’re big ones. Neither decision will prove to be a bad one, in fact they’re both decisions that have the potential to truly help me. But both of them would bring about additional debt. That’s something I really have to think about.
Through the very generous efforts of a some wonderful friends, I have been able to stave off a shift in direction as far as my credit goes. Thankfully I’ve been able to maintain a decent credit rating and now that things are continuing in an upwards direction, I can use some of that credit to my advantage. My two choices are:
Look for a house to move into this year (yes, my credit is good enough to qualify for a loan in that area, shocking eh?)
Or
Qualify for a student loan to further my education.
The debate is of the two debts I would incur, which would be the most beneficial now. If I take on a home loan, I take on increased monthly costs. Most mortgages will be over $1000 a month with assessment if a condo etc. I also would not be able to secure new employment as I would need to remain at my current place at least until the loan is finished.
The second option would mean I would be stuck in the same apartment for at least another year as I would not be able to renew my lease, however my rent wouldn’t increase. Plus I could secure different employment and be on my way in a positive direction with that while I increase my own potential getting my education.
They are tough choices. The first one of course is even deciding to accrue more debt. With respect to that, keep in mind no financial decision will be made today. Maybe not for another 6 months even, while I figure out the mess that the bomb of this cancer has left my finances in.
I feel like I’ve been stuck in some limbo hanging on to the psychological post traumatic stress over cancer, the surgery, etc. I’m trying to clear that up but in its place is the desire to do something with my life. Something new, some change, SOMETHING. And while no decision has truly been made yet, at least the thoughts are there.
I’ve also been doing some interpersonal work on myself as of late. After watching the secret and letting that stew in my mind, then seeing the follow up show that Oprah did about (I LOVE TIVO!), I’ve been more and more inclined to really examine a few things in my life. I haven’t gotten comfortable enough to “pick and choose” what I want from the catalog of life, but the idea of that doesn’t scare me so much now. I think the fear of picking is that verbalizing what I want helps reinforce it and that would mean change. Surprisingly as much as I do not mind change, it still scares me a bit.
My next post will be a very personal post. I’ve been working on it for a few days already and that alone should tell you how personal it will be. It’s one of those “Do I share it or not” posts. But true to my heart, and my vision I WILL share it. I think it’s good therapy to share your life with others, even in a blog where the whole world can see it if they choose. It makes it more ‘real” in some respects… validates it, if you will. But, it is deeply personal and requires a lot more thought than just the average message.
In the meantime, know that I am well. I’m getting better each day, and more aware, more out of my self imposed reclusion shell. I think of every one of you everyday and hope that you are all well. And I am grateful for all the candles being lit, the emails, text messages and love. I am very grateful for the love of my friends and family. I would not be here today if I didn’t have that.
Be well friends,
Muse
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WELL WISHES
I hope wherever you are, whatever you’re going through, no matter how rough, you remember one thing. Remember that out in this vast world of so many diverse people, thoughts and actions; that one person loves you… JUST… AS… YOU… ARE. For the first time reader to this blog, the new friends in my life, the existing ones, and those yet to be. I love you with all my heart, I love you. May that love find you and cover you in warmth, positive energy, and happiness. You deserve it, you wonderful people you.. :)
In the words of Mrs. Virgo “Make it a great day!”
3 comments:
Finally, a post! I missed my daily muse fix...lol... and I worry about you when you don't post. I am sorry to hear about the various jobs but the right thing will come along.. just don't limit your potential and look at too narrow of a field. You have incredible skills that can be utilized in other areas.
Also, another benefit to home ownership.... interest is tax deductible! I love that...lol! That and not having noisy neighbors.
As always, much love, peace and prayers.
It seems that you really are at a fork in the road aren't you? I hope clarity comes to you soon to figure out which path is the right one. I know how important making a difference is so you, to help other people who have gone through what you have been through. Would you be going to school to make that happen?
You're very welcome for the necklace, I can't wait for it to make it to your home so that you can enjoy it for real! I'm so happy you like it LadyM. I really am.
Cosmic Junction...
I just read the Goddess Brigit in my daily reading of "Goddess Days" (365 Daily Meditations by: Nancy Blair. Goddess Brigit is day 31). I will share this reading with you.
BRIGIT
Bright blessings easily flow into your Life.
The feast day of Brigit or Bright One, Lady of the Flame, Celtic Triple Wonder Worker, is celebrated on February 1. She is the Celtic Goddess of poetry, medicine, inspiration, art, and smithcraft. Brigit invented whistling as a secret signal to call her friends in time of need. She is often seen carrying a cauldron, representing her divine powers of creation and transformation. From her name we get Bride, sacred consort.
When invoking Brigit, first light a candle. Then place a chair opposite yours to welcome her into the room. Take a deep breath and let the air escape slowly between your teeth, whistling as you exhale. Imagine the presence of an awesome Queen filling the room. You feel her intense warmth as a tingling sensation in your hands and feet.
Share your most pressing concerns with her by asking three questions. Her feast day is also called Imbolc, meaning "in the belly." Let your questions emanate from the deepest part of your being. Let Brigit guide you today with deep inspiration. Notice any unexpected or coincidental events. Go with your hunches. If you lose your way, just give a whistle and wait for Brigit's fiery warmth to bring you back to your center. The seeds of imagination are vibrating with quiet expectancy. Hold nothing in. Create a sacred space with every breath and let every exhalation kindle a desire.
Affirmation: "I use my imagination to brightly enrich my Life. I make room for unexpected, joyful surprises."
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Enjoy the Day Me Lady!
Libra Moon
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