This blog has moved....

My blog has moved! I have decided to finally make the switch to Wordpress for a few of the features they have, that blogspot doesn’t have. You’ll find my new blog at http://celestialapprentice.wordpress.com. Take a look at the pages of the blog (a nice new feature) and see what you think.

Eventually I will be moving goddess works also. Though both ldymuse and goddessworks will remain here, they do so for history sake until I can back them both up.

Make sure you read all the pages of the Celestial Apprentice’s pages as there is some good information there… See you there!

Finally, SOMEONE said it...

The BEST article in the world today, is right here (or on Fox News, whichever you choose).

Grrr! Vick Finds Jesus in Record Time
Tuesday , August 28, 2007
By Mike Straka

Your GRRRs Things That Make Me Go Grrr! The GRRR! Book

"We all make mistakes," said Michael Vick. "Dogfighting is a terrible thing and I reject it ... I found Jesus and turned my life over to God. I think that's the right thing to do as of right now." Gee, that didn't take long.

I didn't think the curtain on the "finding Jesus" act would rise until after Vick went to jail, but alas, it came on the same day he made his plea deal official.

It took Paris Hilton a few hours in the slammer before she met Jesus, and Vick does it even before lockup. Who knew? He must have hired Hilton rep Elliot Mintz as his spokesman over the weekend.

Let's face it. Vick loves dogfighting. He loves the rush it gives him to see dogs that he helped to train maul and kill other dogs. Even his own father and grandfather say as much — although their witness to Vick's character is about as solid as Vick's future in football.

When ConVick's dogs didn't perform well, he killed them in a "collective" effort that amounted to electrocution and drowning, and when electricity or water were too much to ask for, he and his cohorts "collectively" body-slammed man's-best-friend to death.

"I made a mistake in using poor judgment and making bad decisions," he said.

Poor judgment? Keyshawn Johnson used poor judgment by writing a book in which he espoused on his greatness on the field. That's poor judgment, especially after you start dropping passes.

Bad decisions? Terrell Owens stuffing a Sharpie in his pants and autographing a football during a game is a bad decision.

What Vick did is called breaking the law. Committing a crime. Intentionally killing a living creature. For that, prosecutors recommend 12 to 18 months.

That's half the time Andrew Burnett got for grabbing a little bichon frise named Leo off its owner's lap and throwing the dog into oncoming traffic after a road rage incident seven years ago.

At least Burnett had the "road rage" defense. Vick's involvement in killing dogs had nothing to do with emotions. That decision was made in order to cut losses. Why pay to feed and house dogs that don't perform well?

He said we all make mistakes, but ask him to be honest, and he might tell you the only mistake he made was that he associated with the wrong types of people, and in the end, that's what got him caught. Don't forget, if Vick's cousin hadn't been involved with drugs, the dogfighting operation would never have been discovered while investigating Vick's Virginia property. And if you look back to Vick's initial statements, about associating with the wrong types of people, he was clearly aiming to let those people take the fall for him.

It's kind of like Lindsay Lohan eyeballing the owner of the SUV she allegedly hijacked a few weeks ago while saying to cops, "I wasn't driving, officer. Go on guys, tell him I wasn't driving." "I'm going to have a lot of downtime," Vick said before walking off the podium. You can say that again, Michael.

Things That Make Me Go Grrr!
The other day I read a story in one of the papers of record about two athletes who were raking in endorsement deals to the tune of over $1 million a year.

They are volleyball players who happen to be a couple. And while I applaud them for their athletic prowess and believe that they deserve to rake in whatever the market will bear for their services as spokespeople, I began to wonder what made them so attractive to sponsors.

Was it their success on the beach? Well, yes. But it goes deeper than that. Put simply, they attract an audience. A very desirable audience. In the business they call it the "demo," that much coveted 18-to-34 age group. This group presumably makes all of their long-term buying decisions during this time of their lives, when brand loyalty is akin to friendship.

But why do advertisers constantly choose athletes for these deals? Or pop stars? How many athletes (Michael Vick — duh) end up burning their endorsement sponsors with bad behavior?

How about Lindsay Lohan or Britney Spears?

What will happen when everybody who is endorsing a product crashes and burns in some way, shape or form? And, is there anybody out there bulletproof? We know athletes, actors and singers — all attractive to sponsors — are not. How about bloggers? They have broad reach, but half of these people we never really "meet," or even know what they look like, so there's too much mystery surrounding them.

Maybe we should begin seeing commercials from Cirque du Soleil performers. First, the troupe is visually stunning. Second, it is family-friendly. Third, there is no one person who stands out in any performance, hence zero ego. And fourth, they make up their own language, so even if they did do anything stupid, we wouldn't know it.

But most of all, with 50 or more performers per commercial, nobody is getting stupid rich, which will probably alleviate most of the stupid things that stupid rich people do, more and more often these days.

A break

I need a break. I dont know when I will return.

Trust... Pathways... Peace

Trust... I keep pulling this card. For the past three days no matter how hard I shuffle, no matter the question, I keep pulling this card. It's so hard for me to let go. I keep a tight reign on anything I can, because in most of my life I have so little control. I've asked about this interview, I've asked about my heart, I've asked about my big decisions coming up. And each time... Trust. One time I also pulled a "yes" card, that whatever decision I have come to, is the right one. And what's funny is the minute I pulled that? I really DID feel a bit better.

Take a look also at an email I received today, posted in the Goddess works Blog . Funny? Trust, Intuition, Self Esteem. I think the message might just be getting through to me ;)

Also noteworthy today is that with some convincing from Mrs. Virgo last night and LOT of emotion shared by Ms. Personality (Mrs. Virgo knows who I mean) last weekend, I've come across a few things/tasks/etc that "feel" good to me. One of them is reading more (hence my above information), Opening up more, and working with people. Which brings me to my newest project... I will be holding a peer to peer training session (I think, details are still forthcoming) revolving around grounding & centering, meditation and visualization. I'll be posting my materials and putting my things together and if it goes as well as it "feels" that it will, it should be a WONDERFUL experience for me. And who knows, if it goes REALLY well? It could be a continuing thing where I get to work with people to open their hearts and minds up to things that give them peace. What could be better! Wish me luck ;)

Be well today friends, Bask in the sun of your heart, and know that all is well.
Muse

Whatever life we get is bonus...

I am so moved today. So sad for the world’s loss, so happy for his peace newfound in his passing, and so moved by his words that I am sadly to late to celebrate with him.

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Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Whatever life we get is bonus (from Anderson Cooper 360)

Editor's note: The following post is written by Miles Levin, a young cancer patient profiled on tonight's "360." Miles' personal blog can be read at www.carepages.com, page name "LevinStory."

Looking through my living room window, I suspect being outside would feel wonderful, but I really wouldn't know. As I write this from my bed, my entire body feels saturated in a sticky, toxic nausea, with chemotherapy pumping through my 18-year-old veins. Like Michael Jackson's moonwalk, chemotherapy has this strange way of moving a person another step towards life and death at the same time.

Twenty three months ago, I was diagnosed with stage IV rhabdomyosarcoma, a rare pediatric muscle cancer affecting only 350 children a year. With odds like that, and with a 20 percent chance of survival, I can only deduce two possibilities about the universe: God's plan is evident in every little shifting of the breeze, or it's totally random. I don't see how there could be much middle ground.

I remember my first chemo round, staring at the ceiling and trying not to cry. The agony was stunning. I've long since learned to go ahead and cry. How could this have happened? Yet as with anything that happens, it happens, and then suddenly you find it has happened, and more things keep continuing to happen. Chemotherapy has instilled in me a visceral understanding that all bad things will pass in time ... but that all good things will too.

I set out on a 19-month course of treatment, chronicling the journey on an online blog. Little did I know that my little Web site intended to keep extended family and friends informed would find readers all across the country and even the world, including such countries as Japan, Australia, Germany, Brazil.

My journey became our journey, with treatment finishing last December. For a brief, hopeful month in January, it appeared to have been successful. My scans were clear. But, as is so common with cancer, there were still sub-detectable rogue cells lurking in distant corners of my body. Within weeks, they swarmed forth again and my body was infested once more.
A recurrence of my kind of cancer has been hitherto incurable, although I still cling to a slim ray of hope. But in all likelihood, I am in the last few months of my short life.

Unlike many cancer patients, I don't have much anger. The way I see it, we're not entitled to one breath of air. We did nothing to earn it, so whatever we get is bonus. I might be more than a little disappointed with the hand I've been dealt, but this is what it is. Thinking about what it could be is pointless. It ought to be different, that's for sure, but it ain't. A moment spent moping is a moment wasted.

I accept what is to come, but I cannot rid myself of a deep mourning for all those experiences -- college, marriage, children, grandchildren -- that will probably never be mine to celebrate. What solace I do find is in the knowledge that I have done everything I can to transmute this terribleness into something positive by showing as many people as I can how to endure it with a smile.
I don't believe you can ask for any more, but if I could ask for something, it would be to be able to go outside into the glorious spring air, feeling healthy and blissfully clueless as to how lucky I was for it, if only just for an hour.

-- By Miles Levin, Guest Blogger

~*~*~*~*~*~
Prayer - Secret Garden
Let your arms enfold us
Through the dark of night
Will your angels hold us
Till we see the light

Hush, lay down your troubled mind
The day has vanished and left us behind
And the wind, whispering soft lullabies
Will soothe, so close your weary eyes

Let your arms enfold us
Through the dark of night
Will your angels hold us
Till we see the light

Sleep, angels will watch over you
And soon beautiful dreams will come true
Can you feel spirits embracing your soul
So dream while secrets of darkness unfold

~Rest in Peace Miles. You are missed by many, including me.~

WoW; A Woman of Worth

In my bloglines I have several blogs that I lurk on. Mainly anymore these days, I lurk. In any event, I absolutely had to post this credo I found from The Path of Modern Goddess. I can think of no more powerful affirmation for my day today than this. Thank you Nicole. Thank you very much.
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I am a Woman of Worth
August 10th, 2007

I stumble upon the site of the Woman of Worth Event and found their credo. I loved it and had to tell you gals about it.

THE WOW CREDO
Written by Christine Awram, Founder

I am a Woman of Worth!

My worthiness is inherent, infinite and persevering – it is my natural state.My value is a reflection of who I am - and I am magnificent.
And … who I am – always makes a difference.
I matter!
I am successful – because I come from my true power, which lies within.
I lead through inspiration – from quiet acts of kindness, to leading a nation.
I am empowered – I make choices from the clarity of my heart, mind and spirit.
I am abundant – as the core of my true essence always supports manifestation.
I cherish my relationships – they are part of what makes me strong.
I am a Human BEing – as my BEing is of far more significance than my DOing.
I play and I laugh and I bring beauty and light into the world – I am radiant.
At times I despair and I weep, when I feel the pain of a world that has momentarily gone mad.
Yet even when I tremble through a dark night of the soul, I renew my faith and my courage in a single heartbeat because my spirit is indomitable.
I feel and I care and I am passionate – with a heart as open as the universe.

I am a woman of worth, and I am glorious!

WOW

Because every woman… is a Woman Of Worth.

~*~*~*~*~*~
WELL WISHES
May you know your worth today… May it seep from your very heart, into all you do. You are beautiful!

You are a blessing to me everyday.
XO

When staying alive means...

I have a war that I wage on myself daily over money, life, living in the moment, trying to be stress free… I find that I get angered easily as I battle these emotions and even more so when I read something like this today.

What more do people need to hear to realize this is a HUGE problem that is only going to get worse? Please read, share your thoughts… But be aware; especially when it comes time to choose someone who’s supposedly going to fix it.

Our health is priority, without us there is no voting body, without our voice, finances etc, there is no support. This should be among the top 10 issues discussed by those who say they will make a difference for us, with us. And if it’s not, then choose differently. This is not a lesser of two evils argument (i.e. Well they feel like I do about x, y, z, so I guess I can let this issue slide). It must be addressed, and resolved or at least on a path towards resolution. Many of us are dying (physically, financially, and emotionally) because it’s not at the forefront of people’s minds.

Help each other live.

When staying alive means…

Social butterfly! (and no cancer, again!) I'm on a roll!

Tonight I’ll be doing something I’ve not done before… I’ll be going to comedy improv! This week has been a good busy week full of friends, game, events, and visits.

Tuesday I went and saw the concert with the top 10 American Idols. It was very nice! I didn’t particularly care for Sanjaya, but that’s because I do not think he can sing that well. He would be good in a small lounge, or something of that nature. However everyone else did AWESOME. And as an extra bonus I got to see Gina Glockson get engaged! It was so romantic. I have to admit I feel a certain kinship being that she is from my city too, but still it was such a wonderful thing to witness right there in front of me! What joy to share in such a blessed event!

Then Thursday I hosted an event in game that went very well. It took a lot of planning to create and host a faire in an environment with rules and limits, but it went very well and I think everyone had a blast.

Then tonight I’m going to see Joe Rogan. I’ve only seen him as the host of Fear Factor, but apparently he’s a very good humor man. We shall see ;) I’m pretty hard to impress in the comedy department, but even if the comedy isn’t stellar, hanging out with friends and having fun will be WONDERFUL.

Then tomorrow, I’m hanging out with a group of wonderful, inspirational women for a day of laughter, lunch, dinner, new age shopping, etc. It’s good soul food in abundance! I am so excited for this day.

I’ve been doing my meditations as well now. Admittedly I haven’t done as many as I should, but I have been better and it’s wonderful. The story I posted previously in my blog is an example of the visions I sometimes receive while meditating. I don’t know whether it’s just because I am very good at visualizations or if it’s a message I’m meant to listen to. I’ve been approaching it as the latter, and have been trying to work hard on my internal library of things… It feels good to be relaxed even when busy, stable even when emotions are all over the place, and happy even during the storm of life as it currently may be at times.

Oh and the best news of the day/week, my second Post Op screening for cancer came back NEGATIVE! Yay! I’m starting to feel a little less scared of the tests now. It’s nice to not have that worry about appointments as much as I used to have.

I could write so much more, but I think perhaps I’ll let things set for a while here ;) Have a wonderful day folks!

Muse

Be The Change (Courtesy of Daily Good):Add a touch of beauty to a neglected corner of your world.
~*~*~*~*~*~
WELL WISHES
I wish for happiness for you today. Fridays always have that little spark of joy as the weekend (for some of us) approaches. May you find your spark of joy no matter if today is the start of your weekend or the beginning of your week; may joy find you and light upon your heart for a while.

You are a blessing to me everyday
XO



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AND REMEMBER

A story of inspiration for you today, courtesy of Daily Good

Oprah, Guys, Stereotypes and a TOTAL RANT *Long post*

For all you folks out there who enjoy, live by or listen to Oprah, I’ll advise you, you may want to go to the next blog. This is my entry about my love/no love relationship with her and the folks that she sponsors, promotes etc. You may not like it.

That said, here I go.

I have tried several times to watch Oprah’s show; to listen to her, to read her magazine, her website, and her help articles. I bounce back and forth between a tennis match the two sides of which are: Wow, really good! and Yuppy, Feel Good Suburbanite, Can’t communicate on their own and puts everything to blame elsewhere.

Ok so that didn’t make much sense… But hear me out. I like Oprah. I like a few of her shows, hell I even have one from February still locked away on my Tivo! Sometimes, as I watch her show or read her articles, I get it… I GET IT! And then other times I read things and go, wow that’s totally stereotyping, how many people (women) read this and really believe this? I’m not putting Oprah down, or her beliefs, or her show, or the people that read/watch/listen to her. So before you blast me with hate mail, read this sentence a few times *Points above*. What I AM saying is that she is good, just like everyone else, and sometimes she is not so good, just like… everyone else. The bottom line is read/listen/watch whatever you want, but interpret it your own way.

A PERFECT example of this love/no love duality I have with her is the information I’m posting below. I came across a great article about the 10 rules to live and love by. (Posted below) It’s a great article. So great that I copied it intending to immediately blog it away for you all to read. And then I was so excited over that article that when I found another one about how to “Talk to a man” I thought, alright let’s see what this person that Oprah is backing has to say. What I read left me appalled. Maybe I’m just too idealistic, simplistic, or just slow? But I do not feel that a “rope-a-dope” type of conversation is good for any end result. First off, you’re assuming the guy is a dope (or even the woman… neither are!) and second of all you’re encouraging people to not be truthful in order to make someone else see things your way. Isn’t that manipulation?

I might be going off the deep end here, but the second article left me squarely planted in the seat of “unlove” towards Oprah. I think were I to rewrite these rules they would be simply:
1. Let me help you get that done. I know the frustration with asking someone to do something and not having it done. I was married for 10 years; I came across this a lot in my relationship. So ok, work together and offer to help them with it. I have no problem by the way with the approach she listed, but I do have a problem with: “Men love to show women their tools.” Is this really true? Am I just a bit slow on the uptake here?

2. I agree in some measure with this point, enough that I wont dissect it :P

3. I understand you feel this way, but this is how I feel. How’s that for a win-win? Allowing both parties to respect each other’s perspective. While I have followed the 100% rule on some occasions it’s only when I am wrong and I have no problem admitting it. The biggest problem I have with this statement she listed is this: “Meet every protest and argument he makes, no matter how ridiculously false, with the observation that he is absolutely correct…but you still want what you want. In boxing this is called rope-a-dope, and even if you don't know what the rope part means, the dope part sounds pretty applicable. This is called win-win—except you did and he didn't.” Perhaps it’s just a play on words, saying the same thing I would say but not so forthright, either way to me initially reading it, this struck me as manipulation pure and simple.

4. Honey you look great in that sweater! Nothing wrong with that? I agree “cute” would be faux pas but I think that the explanation given below is 100% stereotypical, judgmental and generalized. Particularly this: “Men like receiving compliments because they think it means that you are going to have sex with them.” Again, I’ll defer to my being slow on the uptake, but is this really true? The men I know, have known with few exceptions aren’t thinking that if I open my mouth to offer a compliment, I’m going to jump in bed with them (or maybe they were and didn’t tell me, however in MOST cases, I did NOT go to bed with any of them)

Why does this have me so upset? Because Oprah has a HUGE following. Because someone young woman, (or older woman who is reaching out for advice) will read this and might not be able to pick just the advice that she needs from it. She may also walk away with the opinion that men are only good for using power tools, or for manipulating, and the notion that she should absolutely avoid complimenting a man because then he’ll want to have sex with you.

Guys? Help me out here? Are you all like this? AM I just Alice wandering in the rabbit hole, picking flowers in my own delusion; the one that gives guys more brains than they really have?

~*~*~*~*~*~

And if you’re interested, here are BOTH articles for your reading, complete with links. You make up your own mind…

Rules to Live and Love By
Kathy Freston, author of The One: Discovering the Secrets of Soul Mate Love shares her rules for finding true love.

There is potential for soul mate love all around us at every moment. It is a matter of recognizing the connection, sensing the "charge" of energy, and then cultivating a relationship that will take us beyond our present limitations. A soul mate brings us enormous joy and fulfillment, but even more importantly, soul mates lead us into our life's lessons. They get under our skin and push our buttons. They inspire us to look at who we are and where we need to grow. Whether single, married, or somewhere in between, we can begin practicing masterful waysof relating with whomever stands before us, and in this way, we become better and more enlightened human beings. We can become the love we want to find; we can source it from within.

1. Seeing your partner through the lens of love rather than fear automatically elevates the relationship to a higher plane. When you can get quiet and note when you are projecting fear, you can make the adjustment to see through a different filter. So often we feel indignant or incensed, but upon closer inspection we will find that we are really afraid. Once we assume our partner's core goodness rather than focusing on their "guilt," they will be more free to show us their best, which accelerates the process of shifting our perspective from one of blame and anxiety to one of acceptance and peace.

2. Being willing to forgive yourself and your partner, and to make amends when necessary is an ongoing process of cleanup. We all make mistakes; it's human. But when we hold fast to a grudge it eats away at our sense of peace and serenity. If you aren't willing to forgive, you might ask yourself what habit of ego you're attached to. Do you want to continue life with unresolved issues hanging over you?

When we take a stand and refuse to let go of something, we can always find evidence to justify it. Or we can try to make peace. Instead of blaming or making excuses, we can clean things up and move forward. This is not an excuse for staying in a dysfunctional situation, but an opportunity to see innocence. Once we do that, we gain—or give—freedom to move out of a "stuck" place.

3. Relaxing when times get tough; assuming that "this too shall pass" allows you to roll with the punches. If you know things will inevitably arise to challenge you, you can be more detached when they do. Problems become worse when we dig in our heels and try to force a solution. By relaxing into whatever struggle arises, we remain flexible and open to inspiration and insight.Even if you have a hard time letting go, you can at least observe yourself taking things very seriously, which in itself helps to detach you from the experience of anxiety. Whatever is happening now won't be happening a year from now, so just keep breathing through the situation and see if you can take things a little less seriously.

4. Seeing in the dynamic of the relationship the reflection of what you need to learn helps bring you back to what is important. Sometimes we get lost in the chatter of day-to-day patterns and lose sight of the soul's mandate to bring us closer to realizing our Oneness. The best way to see where we need to work on things is to observe who we are and what we do within the context of a relationship. Any time you recognize your impulse to create distance rather than intimacy, you can make the adjustment and get back on track.This relationship, as with all relationships, is part of a curriculum to evolve into our highest potential. We come to know ourselves by how we interact with our partner, and by so doing we come to know Spirit.

5. When you don't know how to handle a problem, pray and meditate, surrendering the decisions to SpiritPraying and meditating aligns your limited energy with that which is all-powerful. Of course we don’t have all the answers, but by consigning our limitations to our Higher Power, our burden is lifted. We need to be accountable for our words and actions and be willing to work through where we are stuck. We need to stay present and forgive. Beyond that, our creative power is fueled by Spirit. By praying, we ask for help and guidance; by meditating we clear our minds so that the answer will become apparent. By moving aside, we create an opening for God to work miracles in ways we could never imagine.

6. Honoring your partner's path and allow them the space to find their own way sends a clear message of respect. People need to work things out in their own manner and in their own time. If you try to help where help is not requested, you are signaling your lack of belief in your partner. If you back off and assume someone is strong and intelligent, strength and intelligence are what they will likely find.Although we are all on this path of realization and expansion together, each of us is unique in our lessons to be learned; the way you do something might be totally different than how someone else needs to process a situation. Rest assured that Spirit is at work in all of our lives, and give yourself a rest from overseeing your partner's personal business.

7. Keeping up your personal growth work means you will keep your mind sharp and your awareness keen. Read, study, and attend lectures; don't rest on the laurels of what you think you already know. The moment we think we have it all figured out is the moment things will come crashing down around us. Arrogance leaves no room for intimacy or growth, and is certainly not part of a spiritual curriculum. When you immerse yourself in learning, you will always have new skills and interests to apply to a relationship, and thus the relationship will always feel fresh and relevant.

8. Following the path of your own creativity keeps you attuned to that which moves and inspires you. As you indulge your creative side, you become less dependent on your partner to feel whole. Creative energy is the force that breaks new ground. To sustain love, we need to continually fuel whatever inspires us on the deepest level. Also, creativity balances out the egoic and intellectual side of life; it teaches us to play and have fun. When we engage our passions, we radiate passionate energy and thus maintain the interest of our partner as well as having your own sense of fulfillment.

9. Staying present keeps us in the moment which is where life is. Life does not exist in future predictions or past grievances; all we have for sure is right here and right now. Every moment teaches us something, and if we are busily trying to change or control something we miss the grace intended for us.By allowing the sacred mystery to unfold without trying to tamper with it, we can move through anything with much more ease and simplicity. As we cease resisting, any so-called negative situation or emotion will have the space to work out. And by the same token, when we are completely alert and aware in any given moment, we are open to the subtle miracles happening all around us. By staying present, we will see our partner for who they are; we will hear clearly their communication and respond to it astutely.

10. Being grateful for what you have zeros in on what is working, which in turn magnetizes more of the same. Where you put your focus is where you direct your creative intention; so if you want abundance, be grateful for the vitality you have now. If you want a soulful relationship, be grateful for the soulful moments. Gratitude is like a seed you plant; it grows more as it is watered and nourished. Show your partner what you appreciate in them and let them know that they have a positive effect in your life. The acknowledgement of good will call forth more of the same.


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Man Talk
From the June 2005 issue of O, The Oprah Magazine.

1 of 4
"Let me get your power drill."Suppose you want a man to do something for you, and you've asked him, oh, a thousand times. He's promised he would, which is what's so frustrating—if he flatly refused, at least you'd understand why he isn't taking action. He doesn't want you to remind him about what he needs to do, even though he keeps forgetting. Don't ask him to do a specific task ("Fix the drip in the shower") but to be in charge of solving the problem ("The leak in the shower is driving me crazy"). Offer to help him ("Tell me what tools you need, and I'll go get them for you"). Men love to show women their tools.

2 of 4
"Wanna dance?"The best way to seduce a man the first time is to let him know you're interested—but not easy—with the word maybe. Maybe you should get together, maybe you'll have a drink with him, maybe you'd like to see his place. There's enough yes in maybe to keep a man from feeling rejected and enough no to keep him challenged. If it's a long-term relationship, the approach is different, but you'll do well if you still think of it as a dance. Get him to snuggle, kiss, and play but once you are there, let him take the lead. Whether it's a date or your 30th anniversary, a man likes to think it's his idea.

3 of 4
"You're 100 percent correct."It doesn't matter what you're arguing about—he just wants to be right. This is his weakness; you can use it like judo, turning his own momentum against him. Saying two little words, "You're right," is the verbal equivalent of darting a raging elephant with animal tranquilizers. It gives him what he wants, reducing tensions and leaving the way open for you to get what you want. Try it: "You're right, but I still want to go to the party." Meet every protest and argument he makes, no matter how ridiculously false, with the observation that he is absolutely correct…but you still want what you want. In boxing this is called rope-a-dope, and even if you don't know what the rope part means, the dope part sounds pretty applicable. This is called win-win—except you did and he didn't.

4 of 4
"What a manly sweater!"Men like receiving compliments because they think it means that you are going to have sex with them. This can make complimenting a man awkward, no matter how straightforward you are about your intentions. He'll reach this same conclusion if you (a) say "good morning" to him, (b) smile at him, or (c) ignore him, so you might as well go ahead and compliment him if you want. And maybe you are sleeping with him or would consider it, so what are the best ways to get your message of appreciation across? Simply put, we want to hear words that sound masculine. Telling us you think our sweater is "handsome" is a way of saying we're manly, while a "cute" sweater sounds like something worn by a female schnauzer. Giving a compliment is like giving a gift: Don't make it about what you would want, make it about what he wants. W. Bruce Cameron is the author of How to Remodel a Man (St. Martin's) and 8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter (Workman), which became the basis for the ABC sitcom of the same name. Read more about men in the June 2005 issue of O, The Oprah Magazine. Subscribe now!

Silence of the heart

I was busily checking my email this morning and came to a halt when I saw today's DailyOm. It's a good read, worth the 2 minutes it takes to read it for sure! It's the only post today because it deserves that priority.

Be well friends,
Muse

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The Soundless Center
Silence Of The Heart

We spend a lot of time attempting to put the feelings in our hearts into words, to communicate to others our passions, our emotions, and our love. Often we are so busy trying to translate our heart’s roar into language that we miss the most profound experience the heart has to offer, which is silence. Every poem arises from this silence and returns to it. When all the songs have been sung, the soliloquies delivered, the emotions expressed, silence is what remains. As each wave of feeling rises and falls back into the silence, we have an opportunity to connect with the vast, open, powerfully healing wisdom at the soundless center of our hearts.

Our hearts may seem noisy and tumultuous so much of the time that we do not even associate them with silence. It takes a sensitive ear to tune in to the silence of the heart, but it is there in each one of us, so close and so large that we do not even notice it. We can begin to become aware of it in the same way we become aware of the negative space in a still life, the background of a photograph, or the open sky that contains the sun, clouds, moon, and stars. We are accustomed to tuning in to objects and sounds that are one-pointed, solid, and three-dimensional. Seeing and hearing the apparently empty space that contains these sounds and objects takes a little practice.

We can bring our awareness into our hearts by simply breathing into the general area of our heart. The first thing we may notice is feelings like joy or sadness and physical sensations like tightness or tenderness. We acknowledge these as we continue to breathe and focus, listening attentively. We surround these feelings and sensations with breath and recognize that they are contained and held in an immeasurable substance like water or air, intangible, ineffable, but utterly real. This is the silence of the heart, and the more we listen for it, return to it, and accept it, the more we bathe and purify ourselves in the soundless center of our being.