real life sucks

Everyone tells us to worry about the folks online and granted we should be careful with our private information being so widely shared… but… what about those in real life that lie just as much?

See these people are worse in my opinion. They tell you one thing and some of them are such masters of disguise that they can even hide their intention from the eyes… (the windows to the soul in most cases). Then when you think one thing… you get another.

We live in a world that just doesn’t care sometimes if things don’t fit perfectly in our own vision. And if the only place I can be loved and real is online then so be it. Then I turn my back on the real world and it’s snakes, liars and thieves.

And damn all you real life people that judge by sight, goddamn you for even existing because you judge ME based on YOUR fears. You know what I say to you? Piss off. And damn me too because I can’t seem to let those that judge me go…
(Purposely edited to remove anything that people could misconstrue as something other than pure loneliness)

oh yea!

Google

So i think it works... my alienware that is... we'll see

i lost

to geography

nuff said

Choice

One of the freedoms we are given is the ability to choose. In everything we do we make choices. I too make them and I make bad ones too. All my life I've judged people in a certain situation (edited obviously for privacy). I always thought, how could you do that. I sat on my high and mighty morals and looked down saying "I would never do that".

Well it seems I've gotten a clearer perspective on how people may literally "Fall" into the environment of which I used to judge. I can no longer look down my nose at those people. I can only look back at those staring at me now and hang my head too, for I know I've done wrong.

The problem is... I'm weak as well. My psyche has been battered about for about 4 years and it's been a constant barrage of things. Job losses, Marriage loss, emotional instability. All these things contribute. And now I am alone.

I'm alone even though I'm surrounded by literally hundreds of people daily. messed up eh?

I've let myself get backed into a corner and i'm too weak to crawl out now. Everyday I gain some strength, some nerve and hopefully soon before I go totally insane I will do the one thing I need to do to cut deadweight from me that wraps itself in the disguise of l***. (again edited)

You can't say one thing and do another... You can't do one thing and expect another that you do something else with to just sit idly by. not for this long.

For Now I still have a choice, and I choose not to exert it. I've sufficiently damned myself to an existence that goes against my morals (in my opinion), and although it has the potential to be something so beautiful, will still like the elusive rare flower be among shadows and hidden.

Yea so that shit sucks hard core.