For those of you who remember my previous rough draft story, (Breath of an Angel) you will recognize this. For you new readers, keep in mind a few things:
1. This is a rough draft; unedited; raw emotion.
2. It is a vision I had while meditating during a particularly rough emotional day
3. It is a vision i share freely with you, though it is entirely personal.
It was particularly powerful for me, and quite unexpected. I believe in signs of all kinds, and I believe in miracles. And sometimes, a miracle doesn't have to be huge, or world changing to be called a miracle. Sometimes, it is a miracle to just one...
~*~*~*~*~*~
The fields of green were behind her. In front of her she stood at the edge of a cliff so high she appeared to stand even with the setting sun. The water glowed with the imbued colors the sun bestowed upon it, and in places it glittered like amber and diamonds. She rose slowly from her sitting position wiping the tears from her brown eyes. Tucking a stray piece of brown hair behind her ears she watched the sun make its slow descent wondering how it was that she came here.
This place was new to her. No stranger to calming environments, she was rather a master of creating them. However this was not her place, she did not know whose place it was.
The grass grew tall enough that with the care of a lovers caress each blade seemed to stroke her bare ankles. The white dress she wore came to about an inch below her knees and swayed lightly as she moved, sensitizing her skin to every whisper about her. Her eyes focused once more on her surroundings and as she leaned gently forward, she saw below the white velvet sands. Occasional strands of grass grew out from the cliff displaying proudly the marriage of earth and sandy beach. Seagulls overhead called softly, not loudly as they often do, as if not wishing to disturb her as she gained her bearings.
The sun in front of her changed from bright yellow to amber orange as it slowly set deep into the vast ocean in front of her. She could almost hear the noise it made sliding into the depths of approaching night and she stood transfixed at this vision of peace.
Somewhere in a distant world, she was aware that her real self sat, eyes closed, reclining, having asked for this moment, hoping that she would find peace as the walls of chaos enclosed her. Smiling, she realized that while this wasn’t her sanctuary or the others, it was something new… a new addition to her blissful home.
Behind her the grass rustled as something walked quickly towards her. Engrossed as she was in the sun, she wasn’t aware of the presence until the warmth of its body brushed against her calves. She looked down and saw the warm eyes of her dog “Mushu”. She cried aloud tears springing to her eyes as she knelt down to hug her companion. Mushu greeted her with all the love that she was always known to have, licking at her nose and yelping a bit in excitement. Mushu looked healthy and vibrant. Her coat glistened with a healthy shine, and the caramel, toffee, and onyx colors of her coat were bright. The white spot that had been on her back, always looking like a heart was prominent as if it had been brushed and made to stay that way. She wrapped her arms around the dog feeling its heartbeat against her chest.
So involved was she, that she didn’t notice again, the next warm touch against her body. Turning startled, she looked and saw her other dog “Dotty”. Dotty, who had passed many years ago from cancer looked so healthy now. Her fur was brushed fine and sparkling in its color of perfect white. She looked at her with her gray eyes and sat prettily looking for attention but not rushing, savoring the reunion. Picking up the hem of her dress gently to fully kneel in the grass, she wrapped Dotty in a hug so tight she feared it was too much. Mushu joined Dotty and together all three sat in the cliff hugging, and playing while tears crept down the woman’s face. She felt a joy she hadn’t felt in a long time at the sight of her old companions, and for the first time her spirit was lifted.
She stood quietly at long last, giving each dog one last pat on the head, and turned to face the sun again, now a brilliant shade of orange. Each dog flanked her sides and sat in quiet showing their respect for the miracle she was witnessing.
Again she heard the grass rustling and this time didn’t turn in anticipation, but smiled wondering what other joys this sanctuary would bring her. She felt rather than saw the hand reaching for her shoulder. She turned slowly her breath caught in her throat as she saw the woman of light she had known as Jessie. Her image shimmered as light does, but slowly became clear and solid. Smiling at her was the true image of the woman who had moved her so in her life. No words were spoken, but the eyes connecting spoke volumes enough. Suddenly, facing Jessie she saw images, a slight wavering of the air, a shimmering even with no hint of what lay beyond. She squinted as Jessie squeezed her shoulder lightly reassuring her, and before her one by one materialized three women that she had not seen in years. With a cry, stifled by the sudden lump in her throat, she reached forward to touch the first woman’s face.
“Kathleen…” it came out as a whisper and the mirage shimmered becoming solid smiling and nodding.
To Kathleen’s left a woman with fiery red hair, tall as an Amazon with beautiful sparkling blue eyes appeared. At this sight, the tears flowed freely and she let them fall without hesitation. She didn’t even need to speak but heard her say what she couldn’t speak aloud.
“Grandma…” She smiled at the vision even though her eyes nearly clouded over with tears. The air rippled around the figure as it became solid and she could see her grandmother reaching forward to gently touch her heart with a now solid hand. The touch electrified her and gave her immeasurable calm at the same time.
To her left, the air rippled and danced again with sparkling shimmers of light and the last vision appeared quickly as if it couldn’t wait to be seen. The woman covered her mouth and held her breath not believing what she was seeing.
“Pamela…” the word came out husky, throaty, as if it had gotten lodged in her throat… “My sister…” she continued silently.
She watched each of these woman, each who had a special effect on her life at various points in her life. She knew then, at least one purpose for this visit. She had asked for peace, had fallen into the reclining chair in her waking world crying for solace as the ghosts of her past came, haunting her with madness.
She turned back to Jessie while Mushu and Dotty danced happily at her feet carefree as dogs are… She spoke in her mind, as she reached for Jessie’s hands.
”I failed you” she cried silently her tears like silver slipping from her glowing eyes to trace a path down her cheeks.
Jessie squeezed her hands tightly and smiled intoning in what must only be the voice of an angel…
“No my dear, you did not. You gave me what it is you seek now. You gave me joy, peace and rest.” She smiled at her letting her words sink in before continuing. “And I am here always with you, wherever you need me. I am in your heart holding the torch to steer away the darkness, to hold your hand when you’re afraid and I am always here.” She smiled and squeezed her hands gently as tears continued tracing healing paths to the woman’s heart. Jessie released the woman’s hands and touched her shoulders, her hands glowing white with light. The touch was warm and radiated out from the shoulders down into her arms. She spoke one last time to her…
“Your arms are imbued with the gift of love. They have the ability to heal just by their being wrapped around another. It is this hug that sets you and others free…”
Jessie stepped back and nodded to her right, indicating she was to talk to her next vision. Reluctantly she turned her head from Jessie, her head swimming with so many questions.
Kathleen put her hands on the woman’s chin steering her gently like a mother would to a child to look into her eyes. She spoke to the woman first, allaying her questions.
“In time as you visit us, you will know more… but we have gifts to give you now my dearest friend.”
The woman looked at Kathleen, her secret tumbling from her lips falling like rose petals to the ground.
“I failed you, I was so mad that you left me… that we had become such good friends, and you left…I just couldn’t handle it, I cried so hard, I just couldn’t let go…” Her body shook with the tears that poured from her raining down onto the grass at her feet. She continued, “I’m so sorry, I wasn’t there for you.”
Kathleen put her hands around the woman’s waist holding gently around the green sash that cinched the white dress and spoke clearly in a soft voice that was carried on the breeze.
“No, my dear, you did not. You were there at a time when I had no one. I had the benefit of knowing you when I was healthy, sharing with you when I laughed, loving you when I lived. I carried that in my heart everyday, and even still to this moment carry it. You were my friend of the heart, and always will be and you can never have never failed me…”
With that said, Kathleen reached forward and ran her hands down the sides of the woman’s body. She spoke quietly, softly…
“Your chest has the ability to heal, for within it beats your heart. Your heart provides the life sustaining energies you need to carry on. Your body, houses it. Your body is a temple of love, it was built that way.” Her hands glowed white as they trailed down her sides and wound up around her waist again. “Respect your temple, it is within there that your love resides, where you can dip into the bottomless well of light that you have.” She smiled and stepped one step back her fingers trailing away from the woman. She nodded gently, indicating she should talk to the next one to her right.
Learning quickly the routine, and staving off the endless questions, she turned slowly her eyes welling up again with silver tears. She didn’t even reach forward to touch her grandmother fearing that to do so would break the magical spell cast upon her that allowed her to see her soul mate once again.
“Grandma…” the words trailed off and she couldn’t speak again. Of the deep secrets she had for these people, this one hurt the most… She dare not speak it.
Her grandmother stepped forward and wrapped her in a hug that at once lifted her spirits to soar. She felt light as if she could fly, and she felt warmth seeping in to carry away the taint of negativity she had. Her grandmother whispered to her in her ear…
“I know you think you failed me. I know you think that because you got tired of saying goodbye everyday to be prepared for my leaving, that the one day you didn’t and the next I was gone was your fault. You were a child my darling, and knew nothing of the ways of the world at the time. But trust me, I knew then, as I know now, as I have always known from the moment my daughter came home with you… that you loved me and still do.”
The woman shook with the force of the tears that overwhelmed her hearing her grandmother say these words.
Her grandmother kept her wrapped tightly in a hug, but took her left hand and began to lovingly stroke her hair. Her hands glowed white with every pass, leaving trails of white light in the woman’s hair each time. She continued on to stroke her ear and neck as she whispered to her.
“Your head my child has always had the ability to comprehend emotions just as much as your beautiful heart. Your ears have the ability to hear that, which most cannot at first glance. What you think you lack, you have so much of… You just have to reach for it. It’s always been inside of you, it was given to you, and you just have to use it.”
Her grandmother hugged her tighter and whispered in her heart “I love you my sweet angel.” She released her hug and the woman nearly fell over not wanting to let go. She didn’t care now that her eyes were so blinded with tears that she could barely see. She looked at all four of the visions and saw them for what they truly were; angels… her angels.
Her grandmother smiled at her and nodded towards her sister, indicating that this was her next visit.
She stood silently facing the woman that she missed so, and was unable to speak. Pamela put her index finger over her own lips and smiled her beautiful quirky smile that had always graced her in life.
She glided forward and placed both her hands on her sisters heart. They glowed an alternating color of white, softest healing pink, then green. She smiled up at her sister waiting for her to speak as she knew her words must be spoken first… Eventually her voice found her and she spoke through wracking sobs.
“I was so mad at you. I was so mad at you for always taking mother away from me with your illnesses and needs. I was mad at you for leaving that night. I was mad that you chose those people over us. Those people we left behind when we moved, that didn’t care about you… you left us for them. “ She spoke faster and faster until she could barely understand herself, but she had so much to say…
“Then, the night you were in the hospital, I was mad at God. I told him I would never forgive him if he took you. I felt responsible for you since we had been growing closer, you see? And how could I be responsible for you, if you were gone. You were all I had… I cursed God that night. I told him I could never forgive…” and she leaned forward against her sisters hands sobbing with all her guilt her words dissipating on the gentle breeze of dusk.
All three of the other visions moved behind her supporting her and whispering words of comfort to her.
Pamela finally spoke and her voice was the softest sweetest sound the woman had ever heard. As she spoke the light that emanated from her hands pulsed into her sisters heart.
“I know you were mad at me. All those years, because you excelled, you didn’t need. But I did. My time in this world was short, because I needed to be here… for you.” She smiled at the woman so gently, the smile of a mother to a young child, not condescending but full of the most beautiful love.
Her tears slowly began to abate as the woman held her up, and her sister covered her heart. She looked at her eager for her to continue and the vision did not disappoint.
“Your heart my sister, your beautiful heart is the essence of it all. You were given these gifts by angels, and though you were afraid, now is the time. Now more than ever, you need to live in your heart. You have tremendous gifts to bestow on those that want them. Your heart is a beacon sister. It is a light that shines in the darkest of times and people see it… you must let it shine so people have hope; so people know of love. You have the heart of an angel sister, let everyone see it.”
She gently moved her hands away from her heart and smiled at her shimmering softly in the approaching night.
The woman turned back towards the water; it felt like the right thing to do. She stood there watching the stars wink into existence as the moon looked upon the angels and their charge. Both dogs sat at her legs, their bodies pressed up against hers offering unwavering love. The angels stepped behind the woman, placing their hands on her body. One hand on a shoulder, one on her head, one on her waist, and the last, on her back directly over where her heart was… And into the deep night they stood. The four guardian angels and their charge, offering her hope and light in the darkest of times.
It was an image she would not soon forget.
©SKW
This place was new to her. No stranger to calming environments, she was rather a master of creating them. However this was not her place, she did not know whose place it was.
The grass grew tall enough that with the care of a lovers caress each blade seemed to stroke her bare ankles. The white dress she wore came to about an inch below her knees and swayed lightly as she moved, sensitizing her skin to every whisper about her. Her eyes focused once more on her surroundings and as she leaned gently forward, she saw below the white velvet sands. Occasional strands of grass grew out from the cliff displaying proudly the marriage of earth and sandy beach. Seagulls overhead called softly, not loudly as they often do, as if not wishing to disturb her as she gained her bearings.
The sun in front of her changed from bright yellow to amber orange as it slowly set deep into the vast ocean in front of her. She could almost hear the noise it made sliding into the depths of approaching night and she stood transfixed at this vision of peace.
Somewhere in a distant world, she was aware that her real self sat, eyes closed, reclining, having asked for this moment, hoping that she would find peace as the walls of chaos enclosed her. Smiling, she realized that while this wasn’t her sanctuary or the others, it was something new… a new addition to her blissful home.
Behind her the grass rustled as something walked quickly towards her. Engrossed as she was in the sun, she wasn’t aware of the presence until the warmth of its body brushed against her calves. She looked down and saw the warm eyes of her dog “Mushu”. She cried aloud tears springing to her eyes as she knelt down to hug her companion. Mushu greeted her with all the love that she was always known to have, licking at her nose and yelping a bit in excitement. Mushu looked healthy and vibrant. Her coat glistened with a healthy shine, and the caramel, toffee, and onyx colors of her coat were bright. The white spot that had been on her back, always looking like a heart was prominent as if it had been brushed and made to stay that way. She wrapped her arms around the dog feeling its heartbeat against her chest.
So involved was she, that she didn’t notice again, the next warm touch against her body. Turning startled, she looked and saw her other dog “Dotty”. Dotty, who had passed many years ago from cancer looked so healthy now. Her fur was brushed fine and sparkling in its color of perfect white. She looked at her with her gray eyes and sat prettily looking for attention but not rushing, savoring the reunion. Picking up the hem of her dress gently to fully kneel in the grass, she wrapped Dotty in a hug so tight she feared it was too much. Mushu joined Dotty and together all three sat in the cliff hugging, and playing while tears crept down the woman’s face. She felt a joy she hadn’t felt in a long time at the sight of her old companions, and for the first time her spirit was lifted.
She stood quietly at long last, giving each dog one last pat on the head, and turned to face the sun again, now a brilliant shade of orange. Each dog flanked her sides and sat in quiet showing their respect for the miracle she was witnessing.
Again she heard the grass rustling and this time didn’t turn in anticipation, but smiled wondering what other joys this sanctuary would bring her. She felt rather than saw the hand reaching for her shoulder. She turned slowly her breath caught in her throat as she saw the woman of light she had known as Jessie. Her image shimmered as light does, but slowly became clear and solid. Smiling at her was the true image of the woman who had moved her so in her life. No words were spoken, but the eyes connecting spoke volumes enough. Suddenly, facing Jessie she saw images, a slight wavering of the air, a shimmering even with no hint of what lay beyond. She squinted as Jessie squeezed her shoulder lightly reassuring her, and before her one by one materialized three women that she had not seen in years. With a cry, stifled by the sudden lump in her throat, she reached forward to touch the first woman’s face.
“Kathleen…” it came out as a whisper and the mirage shimmered becoming solid smiling and nodding.
To Kathleen’s left a woman with fiery red hair, tall as an Amazon with beautiful sparkling blue eyes appeared. At this sight, the tears flowed freely and she let them fall without hesitation. She didn’t even need to speak but heard her say what she couldn’t speak aloud.
“Grandma…” She smiled at the vision even though her eyes nearly clouded over with tears. The air rippled around the figure as it became solid and she could see her grandmother reaching forward to gently touch her heart with a now solid hand. The touch electrified her and gave her immeasurable calm at the same time.
To her left, the air rippled and danced again with sparkling shimmers of light and the last vision appeared quickly as if it couldn’t wait to be seen. The woman covered her mouth and held her breath not believing what she was seeing.
“Pamela…” the word came out husky, throaty, as if it had gotten lodged in her throat… “My sister…” she continued silently.
She watched each of these woman, each who had a special effect on her life at various points in her life. She knew then, at least one purpose for this visit. She had asked for peace, had fallen into the reclining chair in her waking world crying for solace as the ghosts of her past came, haunting her with madness.
She turned back to Jessie while Mushu and Dotty danced happily at her feet carefree as dogs are… She spoke in her mind, as she reached for Jessie’s hands.
”I failed you” she cried silently her tears like silver slipping from her glowing eyes to trace a path down her cheeks.
Jessie squeezed her hands tightly and smiled intoning in what must only be the voice of an angel…
“No my dear, you did not. You gave me what it is you seek now. You gave me joy, peace and rest.” She smiled at her letting her words sink in before continuing. “And I am here always with you, wherever you need me. I am in your heart holding the torch to steer away the darkness, to hold your hand when you’re afraid and I am always here.” She smiled and squeezed her hands gently as tears continued tracing healing paths to the woman’s heart. Jessie released the woman’s hands and touched her shoulders, her hands glowing white with light. The touch was warm and radiated out from the shoulders down into her arms. She spoke one last time to her…
“Your arms are imbued with the gift of love. They have the ability to heal just by their being wrapped around another. It is this hug that sets you and others free…”
Jessie stepped back and nodded to her right, indicating she was to talk to her next vision. Reluctantly she turned her head from Jessie, her head swimming with so many questions.
Kathleen put her hands on the woman’s chin steering her gently like a mother would to a child to look into her eyes. She spoke to the woman first, allaying her questions.
“In time as you visit us, you will know more… but we have gifts to give you now my dearest friend.”
The woman looked at Kathleen, her secret tumbling from her lips falling like rose petals to the ground.
“I failed you, I was so mad that you left me… that we had become such good friends, and you left…I just couldn’t handle it, I cried so hard, I just couldn’t let go…” Her body shook with the tears that poured from her raining down onto the grass at her feet. She continued, “I’m so sorry, I wasn’t there for you.”
Kathleen put her hands around the woman’s waist holding gently around the green sash that cinched the white dress and spoke clearly in a soft voice that was carried on the breeze.
“No, my dear, you did not. You were there at a time when I had no one. I had the benefit of knowing you when I was healthy, sharing with you when I laughed, loving you when I lived. I carried that in my heart everyday, and even still to this moment carry it. You were my friend of the heart, and always will be and you can never have never failed me…”
With that said, Kathleen reached forward and ran her hands down the sides of the woman’s body. She spoke quietly, softly…
“Your chest has the ability to heal, for within it beats your heart. Your heart provides the life sustaining energies you need to carry on. Your body, houses it. Your body is a temple of love, it was built that way.” Her hands glowed white as they trailed down her sides and wound up around her waist again. “Respect your temple, it is within there that your love resides, where you can dip into the bottomless well of light that you have.” She smiled and stepped one step back her fingers trailing away from the woman. She nodded gently, indicating she should talk to the next one to her right.
Learning quickly the routine, and staving off the endless questions, she turned slowly her eyes welling up again with silver tears. She didn’t even reach forward to touch her grandmother fearing that to do so would break the magical spell cast upon her that allowed her to see her soul mate once again.
“Grandma…” the words trailed off and she couldn’t speak again. Of the deep secrets she had for these people, this one hurt the most… She dare not speak it.
Her grandmother stepped forward and wrapped her in a hug that at once lifted her spirits to soar. She felt light as if she could fly, and she felt warmth seeping in to carry away the taint of negativity she had. Her grandmother whispered to her in her ear…
“I know you think you failed me. I know you think that because you got tired of saying goodbye everyday to be prepared for my leaving, that the one day you didn’t and the next I was gone was your fault. You were a child my darling, and knew nothing of the ways of the world at the time. But trust me, I knew then, as I know now, as I have always known from the moment my daughter came home with you… that you loved me and still do.”
The woman shook with the force of the tears that overwhelmed her hearing her grandmother say these words.
Her grandmother kept her wrapped tightly in a hug, but took her left hand and began to lovingly stroke her hair. Her hands glowed white with every pass, leaving trails of white light in the woman’s hair each time. She continued on to stroke her ear and neck as she whispered to her.
“Your head my child has always had the ability to comprehend emotions just as much as your beautiful heart. Your ears have the ability to hear that, which most cannot at first glance. What you think you lack, you have so much of… You just have to reach for it. It’s always been inside of you, it was given to you, and you just have to use it.”
Her grandmother hugged her tighter and whispered in her heart “I love you my sweet angel.” She released her hug and the woman nearly fell over not wanting to let go. She didn’t care now that her eyes were so blinded with tears that she could barely see. She looked at all four of the visions and saw them for what they truly were; angels… her angels.
Her grandmother smiled at her and nodded towards her sister, indicating that this was her next visit.
She stood silently facing the woman that she missed so, and was unable to speak. Pamela put her index finger over her own lips and smiled her beautiful quirky smile that had always graced her in life.
She glided forward and placed both her hands on her sisters heart. They glowed an alternating color of white, softest healing pink, then green. She smiled up at her sister waiting for her to speak as she knew her words must be spoken first… Eventually her voice found her and she spoke through wracking sobs.
“I was so mad at you. I was so mad at you for always taking mother away from me with your illnesses and needs. I was mad at you for leaving that night. I was mad that you chose those people over us. Those people we left behind when we moved, that didn’t care about you… you left us for them. “ She spoke faster and faster until she could barely understand herself, but she had so much to say…
“Then, the night you were in the hospital, I was mad at God. I told him I would never forgive him if he took you. I felt responsible for you since we had been growing closer, you see? And how could I be responsible for you, if you were gone. You were all I had… I cursed God that night. I told him I could never forgive…” and she leaned forward against her sisters hands sobbing with all her guilt her words dissipating on the gentle breeze of dusk.
All three of the other visions moved behind her supporting her and whispering words of comfort to her.
Pamela finally spoke and her voice was the softest sweetest sound the woman had ever heard. As she spoke the light that emanated from her hands pulsed into her sisters heart.
“I know you were mad at me. All those years, because you excelled, you didn’t need. But I did. My time in this world was short, because I needed to be here… for you.” She smiled at the woman so gently, the smile of a mother to a young child, not condescending but full of the most beautiful love.
Her tears slowly began to abate as the woman held her up, and her sister covered her heart. She looked at her eager for her to continue and the vision did not disappoint.
“Your heart my sister, your beautiful heart is the essence of it all. You were given these gifts by angels, and though you were afraid, now is the time. Now more than ever, you need to live in your heart. You have tremendous gifts to bestow on those that want them. Your heart is a beacon sister. It is a light that shines in the darkest of times and people see it… you must let it shine so people have hope; so people know of love. You have the heart of an angel sister, let everyone see it.”
She gently moved her hands away from her heart and smiled at her shimmering softly in the approaching night.
The woman turned back towards the water; it felt like the right thing to do. She stood there watching the stars wink into existence as the moon looked upon the angels and their charge. Both dogs sat at her legs, their bodies pressed up against hers offering unwavering love. The angels stepped behind the woman, placing their hands on her body. One hand on a shoulder, one on her head, one on her waist, and the last, on her back directly over where her heart was… And into the deep night they stood. The four guardian angels and their charge, offering her hope and light in the darkest of times.
It was an image she would not soon forget.
©SKW
