Let's see... 4 days before christmas and all through the house

4 days before christmas and all through the house
not a creature was stirring not even a mouse
the muse was alone with her laptop and tv
while visions of poetry and love did she breathe
On tuesday she lit all her candles and prayed
"santa i stopped believing long ago,
it seems like forever and a day"
quietly whispering in the hopes she would be heard
her prayer offered up softly, every single word
"but this season dear santa as I spend it alone
I pray and I wish for a love all my own
I dont know what I would have to possibly offer
But I promise I'll do my best and together we'll prosper
If someone would just look at the heart that is me
They will know true love and forever be free
So this season dear Santa while the wind outside screams
I implore you to please give me the love of my dreams"
and with that she closed her eyes full of intent
knowing her heart's message swiftly was sent
cookies and milk she laid out in tradition
and went back to poetry posting with earnest fruition
but quietly in the back of this gentle muses mind,
she still hopes and prays for guidance divine
so children remember no matter the age
traditions and fairy tales exist to this day
who knows whether or not you may get those new toys
but share in the love of the season and you WILL know joy...

SKW

...

I can't ever seem to get enough sleep. Granted I go to bed by or afer midnight usually, but even on nights when I go to bed earlier I can't seem to wake up refreshed. I think that has a LOT to do with my emotional instability lately. That and I've been so damn sick. The messed up thing is I can never tell when I'm goin to be sick. I'm ok for the most part and then wham i'm struggling with nausea. This morning for example, I got up late (again) and had to rush around getting ready. All of a sudden I'm fighintg to not get sick too... *sigh*

The holidays are drawing ever closer and I'm spending this first one completely alone. At least before while I spent it alone for the most part, at least Rob was there or I'd go to his families or something. I didn't even decorate because my house has been torn apart on days when I soaped like made for this charity that I've been wanting to do. So I just dont feel the spirit this season.

I've been wanting to pick up Tai Chi and start practicing that. I even bought a DVD and book from Borders on how to, and the local community college has a class even for $79. The problem is my savings is below $500 now and money is getting really tight. I know.. I have the DVD but I'm not sure I'll do it right.

I'm closing one of my Star Wars Galaxies accounts in January. I've been convinced finally to try World Of Warcraft. *sigh* just what I need another online game. Secretly I kept my TSO, having renewed my subscription the very DAY it expired... I just couldn't let it go. SO I will continue to try to find ways to pay for it. I just can't get rid of it... I've tried three times now. If World of Warcraft is good, then I will be dropping Star Wars Galaxies entirely. Man I should just drop online games entirely, and just keep tso. The problem with that is he plays online gmes all the time, and no one plays TSO anymore either.

I'm feeling sad today though I wonder how much of that is tiredness. All the lifting of things in my house, cutting of soap and general busi-ness leaves me tired. I'm so tired in fact that I'm not even going to write a random poem.... how's THAT for tired.

ciao

Wax on.... Wax off.....

I knew that would get your attention *wink* heh


nothing to report even though life has me in a whirlwind of chaos lol....



Random Poetry Comin ATCHA!

I was listening quietly
once I heard a song
but each morning i struggle to hear it again
as the day moves on and on

I am listening now attentively
and what I hear is sweet
because for the first time I understand
the sound of a love filled heartbeat

not because of a person mind you
or even a place or thing
but simply because I opened my eyes
and learned the joy of giving

Joy comes from service
now I understand
this service is not servitude
but service of love, so grand...
©SKW

Poetry today

Tomorrows another day
this I tell myself.
A day for me to be yours
without a shadow of a doubt
in heavens bliss I'm yours...
I refuse to cry
even when that nagging little voice
preaches in my ear whispering of truth
no ... no... delusion is perfect
Tomorrows another day
where slowly my life seeps out
In each hug, kiss, glance more of my soul weakens
under the burden of truth
Tomorrows another day
for me to know
no matter how sweet the cake
it's bitter aftertaste tells me
that this is all a lie
tomorrow...
© SKW

All of My Tears
I remember a meadow full of green
And my heart full of peace
azure blue skies with puffy white clouds
and dreams of forever
I missed the storm clouds rolling in...
It must have been when I was lost in your eyes
and now I sit in the midst of this hurricane
dumbfounded and lost
the occasional glimpse of your eyes beckoning
but you have gone
you were here... and now you're gone
silence stands beside me as my heart pounds deafening in it's pain
i believed you...even as you said goodbye without speaking
I believed you when you carried me to the stars
Even as I fell tumbling over and over
I believed you when for two precious seconds our lips touched
and fire ravaged my soul with such longing from just a kiss
I believed your offer of love
even as the cool hand of distance settled in for permanent residence
I believed you...
damn you
©SKW

Rescheduled
words roll around inside me waiting to be spoken
my heart is weighed down by sadness
emotions churn like darkened cloudy skies
I build my dam around my approaching tears
my voice cut off unable to express the multitude of words
growing, gaining momentum
the silent scream in the back of my throat
begging for release
why are you not serious?
why?
Am I the only one who thinks that possibility should be paramount?
does this possibility of us not rate important?
i know my worth
shining like gold
and I deserve better
than to be
rescheduled...

My upper lip is strong, my lower lip trembles
the dam breaks and so begins the flood of tears.
I miss you...
© SKW

Adagio
In artists canvas the brush strokes come to life
each piece the dance
the hand reaching longing, stretching...
the partner yet to be drawn only a dream
singular strokes and linear angles softened
bring forth the secret
charcoal greys surrounded the red beating heart
hand still stretched... seeking... desiring
creative passion draws forth the partner
a million miles have been between the lovers
now separated by single strokes...
the artist scratches furiously against the canvas
driven...obsessed
when satisfaction becomes the focus
the need to finish that which the artist knows...KNOWS exists
soon the one are two and together they dance
colorful strokes of life breathed into this canvas
hands intertwine as the adagio begins
music notes float around the two and off the canvas permeating everything
soft whispers "if you know where to find me..."
rose colored life emulated in this arabesque dream
embracing, the two characters once a dream now a reality
hushed words of loves expression "say you'll be the only one..."
They live their love, live their life
from the breath of the heart...
imparting this widom
keep breathing
keep knowing
it exists...
©SKW