1 - Be impeccable with your word - Speak w/ integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.2 - Don’t take anything personally - Nothing others do is because of you. What others say & do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions & actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
3 - Don’t make assumptions - Find the courage to ask questions & to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness & drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
4 - Always do your best - Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best & you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse & regret.
~Don Miguel Ruiz – The Four Agreements
Rule Four - The lesson is repeated until learned. Lessons repeat until learned. What manifest as problems & challenges, irritations and frustrations are more lessons - they will repeat until you see them as such & learn from them. Your own awareness & your ability to change are requisites of executing this rule. Also fundamental is the acceptance that you are not a victim of fate or circumstance - 'causality' must be acknowledged; that is to say: things happen to you because of how you are and what you do. To blame anyone or anything else for your misfortunes is an escape and a denial; you yourself are responsible for you, and what happens to you. Patience is required - change doesn't happen overnight, so give change time to happen. ~Cherie Carter Scott – Rules of Life
98. Thrive on inner peace instead of on crises.
99. Affirm all the good things about yourself.
100. Talk less and listen more.
~100 ways to be happy and feel good
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The lessons repeat until learned... Sort of like reincarnation? The belief of reincarnation, as I understand it, is that your soul is on a journey and until the lessons of the journey to enlightenment are learned we keep repeating them in different forms coming back if our soul hasn’t learned what it needs to for its journey.
I don’t know what I believe in regards to reincarnation, but I do know the above statement (the one in italics is always the one that resonates with me the most each day) is certainly true. How many times have we had the same argument come up with a loved one? Or the same situation with boyfriends/girlfriends? How many times do we find ourselves drawn to the same type of person with the same flaws? It always keeps repeating until we learn our mistakes.
The hardest part of this challenge and one that I routinely fail on…is the learning of the mistake EVEN IF YOU KNOW THE RIGHT WAY TO GO. I know there are things I need to do in my life. I know there are things I’m doing right now which lend themselves to my current state. I know these things and still feel powerless to change them. How does one who’s lost the strength to do what they need to do, find it again? That’s the answer I seek lately.
I feel like the person I used to remember before my marriage was strong, fiercely independent and was the type of person who can (and DID) walk away from bad relationships without a second glance back. I know that I was too headstrong back then, but it seems to me, I was happier back then. So the question I must ask then is…
Did my marriage (failed though it was) break my spirit? Is that what’s wrong? Is that why after all this time I still find myself hiding in an online world, reaching out to those online who would have me… Even though those people tend to be liars more often than not (and as experience has shown I’ve been hurt just as bad online and still get hurt, the same as if it were offline)?
I use the excuse that people online see past the body first and see the heart and so that’s why I put my all into the online world. Believe it or not, it’s really more scary (at least in my part of the world) for someone like me to be “out there” in the “real world”.
I have taken some steps and started doing some things for the betterment of myself; the affirmations, taking some time to care for “me”, seeing friends more than I used to (I know it’s not a LOT but it’s better than 3 months ago isn’t it?). These are all steps in the right direction and for the most part I feel that they are the right steps. I sense more often than not a longing for “real” connections as opposed to online digital connections. I’ve put out to the very special few in the online world that I wish to have an offline relationship with, my number and or other means to contact me in the real world. Hell even cleaning my second bedroom this weekend instead of wasting another weekend in game is a good step (although I could really use some help getting out all the garbage now :P). These things all serve a greater purpose. To help free me from whatever it is I may find that holds me back.
Perhaps it’s a renewal of my spirit once broken. Perhaps it’s a renewal of love. Perhaps…
I know that now, while I’m still sad over things, I’m in a better spot than I was a year ago. (The “things” I elude to are things I will not mention here because, well as much as I may hurt, I do not wish to hurt others with my words or emotions.) But I know I still have a lot of work to do.
It seems that in one very clear moment of vision this weekend, let’s just say… I “see” my lessons repeating. This time, I see this particular lesson clearly. I see its parallels, curves, path, and the destruction that it if left unfettered it can weave so intricately into my life. This time though, I might… I just might have the strength to undo this lesson. Isn’t that what it’s all about? Learning and growing… Maybe at 34 I can still grow. Hopefully.
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DAILY INSPIRATION
From Daily OM
Set Yourself Free
Letting Go Of Perfection
It is good to remember that one of our goals in life is to not be perfect. We often lose track of this aspiration. When we make mistakes, we think that we are failing or not measuring up. But if life is about experimenting, experiencing, and learning, then to be imperfect is a prerequisite. Life becomes much more interesting once we let go of our quest for perfection and aspire for imperfection instead.
This doesn't mean that we don't strive to be our best. We simply accept that there is no such thing as perfection-especially in life. All living things are in a ceaseless state of movement. Even as you read this, your hair is growing, your cells are dying and being reborn, and your blood is moving through your veins. Your life changes more than it stays the same. Perfection may happen in a moment, but it will not last because it is an impermanent state. Trying to hold on to perfection or forcing it to happen causes frustration and unhappiness.
In spite of this, many of us are in the habit of trying to be perfect. One way to nudge ourselves out of this tendency is to look at our lives and notice that no one is judging us to see whether or not we are perfect. Sometimes, perfectionism is a holdover from our childhood-an ideal we inherited from a demanding parent. We are adults now, and we can choose to let go of the need to perform for someone else's approval. Similarly, we can choose to experience the universe as a loving place where we are free to be imperfect. Once we realize this, we can begin to take ourselves less seriously and have more fun. Imperfection is inherent to being human. By embracing your imperfections, you embrace yourself.
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WELL WISHES
Today I wish you all the clear sight with which to see lessons you may have repeating in your life. If you feel you do not have any then I wish you clear sight to see the love and friendship and harmony I’m sending out to all of you. May the conviction of my heart be your strength when you see clearly what YOU may need to do in your life.
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AND REMEMBER:
"Real difficulties can be overcome; it is only the imaginary ones that are unconquerable."~Theodore N. Vail - first president of AT&T(American Telephone & Telegraph)
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