As you know (or maybe you don’t, but I’ll inform you now :P) I have been reading blogs like crazy. In most cases, the words of others move me just as much as any Pulitzer prize winning story or article. These are the words of real people and that makes them all the more special.
Reading Cancer, Baby’s blog from start to finish has caused quite a bit of reflection in me. Mrs. Virgo is aware of some of it (thank you for the ear the other day). But some of the other feelings I have about this whole thing have to do with my own mortality and the frailty of who we as humans are.
Some of you may know I have a heart condition. Nothing that should be serious in the long run (I hope :D), but it was something that at the age of 22 forced me to look front and center at my life and how short it can be. It’s funny at the age of 22 even with all that happened, could have happened… I wasn’t as aware then as I should have been, as I am right now.
Reflection doesn’t come consistently, but rather like a patient if not persistent whisper, beckoning at you. If you do not listen soon enough it gives you enough of a poke that makes you stand up and pay attention.
On occasion I have some pain in my chest. For those of you close to me, relax, nothing life threatening that I’m aware of. However, when I have this pain it’s sometimes pretty bad. I had it today. It was strong enough to make me dig through my numbers for my cardiologist’s number. I will be making an appointment at some point in the very near future. It never hurts to be safe rather than sorry right?
In any event, that coupled with a few blogs I’ve been reading and of course Cancer, Baby’s has led me to contemplate again the things in my life that should be done. Rather than post a melancholy list of things I should do before I die, I thought, why not make my very own “Honey Do” list of things I will do without the imminent threat of death to force me to see that they need to be done.
So this personal list is not a list of what do I need to do before I die, but things I need to do because I am ALIVE. I am alive, and while I am, I will live in the spirit of fullness as best as I can. So here is my list of things, which will change over time, but are the core of what I feel is what I want to have experiences with in my life. Some of these things are things that need to be fixed, added to, or enhanced, but they are things nonetheless that I would like to do.
I debated about posting this here, because well it’s personal and can be seen as very sad. But all I am about, all I’ve been about my WHOLE life is being open, giving and loving. Even at my own expense if need be. So I give this list to you all, whoever reads it so you can see what another soul is doing in life. Perhaps it will cause you to take inventory in your life and help you make your own list. Wouldn’t that be a beautiful thing we can share…even remotely? I think so…
Things I would like to do/experience in this life
~See B and the kids in AZ
~Get all my close friends together for a retreat of memories, laughter, tears and fun
~Make peace with D
~Be loved, held, hugged, caressed by someone who loves me
~Do something that makes a noticeable difference… (I.e. Take Digital Soup to Oprah or to the Chicken Soup folks & get some publicity promoting the awareness of love)
~Make peace with R
~Have quality alone time with those I have unfinished issues with so that I can get closure
~Call everyone in my phone book and tell them what they mean to me
~Call J and R (Biological mother and father) and talk to them
~Find G (Biological brother) and tell him it’s ok
~Not worry about money and truly enjoy life worry free for the rest of my days
~Go to Colorado with friends or a loved one and write, read, contemplate
~Take a cruise anywhere.
~Post in my blog everyday of love and openness
~Make a will
~Give happiness and joy to people somehow, everyday for as long as I have left.
~Not be bitter over life but find joy in it.
~Make peace with God
~Be surrounded by friends even if we just sit in quiet everyday
~Meet those friends I’ve developed personal relationships with (Corwin, Zimi, Shaun, Kami, Cray, Aussie_Male, Celtic, Winter and many others) and tell them how special they have been to me
~Reunite with friends I’ve lost touch with over the years (online or offline)
~Make Utopia Skye a charitable foundation promoting love and peace even if just in the boards or messages to an email list or something.
~Go to the Isle of Skye with my mom, friends and folks from Utopia Skye
~Get all my pictures together and finally make the photo album I want to make for them.
There’s my list… how about yours?
No comments:
Post a Comment