Oh the randomness...

So guess what, Mr. Charlie Sheen has found love on the internet… Well at least a date I should say. In a very obscure article somewhere it mentions it. And damn if I didn’t have to close the window without getting a link to it. I thought for sure you guys would love to hear it.

Oh well, I’ll play gossip columnist for a moment and fill you in.

Rumor has it, that Mr. Charlie sheen utilizing the site http://www.millionairematch.com/ has exchanged emails and yes, even phone calls with an unknown female party. He plans to take her out on a date setting the trend for the first publicized online dating by the stars that I’ve heard of…

I went to the site http://www.millionairematch.com/ and checked it out. So apparently these people make over $150k a year and are executives, CIO’s etc looking for love. I browsed through some of the profiles to see pictures posted from folks that look suspiciously like model shots, profiles written with requests of “do not ask for gifts please as this site seems to have people doing”, and desires of the supposedly rich and famous.

On the one hand it’s nice to dream that a site like that is even legitimate. It’s also nice to dream that if it WERE legitimate, that anyone of the folks that would be on that site would even consider someone like me, with my limited knowledge of things and physical body issues. On the other hand seeing some of these profiles of supposedly rich men (IF they’re who they say they are) looking for HOT and SEXY women as activity partners etc makes me sick.

Maybe I’m just jealous. Maybe the kid in me wants to believe so much in the legitimacy of finding a prince and maybe one who has money so I don’t have to worry about it anymore. But truthfully because I seem to be jaded anymore, I think this site is just another way for us to expose just how materialistic and superficial we can truly be.

In my brief stint in the online dating world (and yes, that’s over… I have had enough of the scrutiny, wearing my weight as a shield, and humiliation of yet AGAIN going through the 12 step process (har har) of trying to find love digitally), when I looked at ads, I looked at very different things. Sure I wanted financial security, but only that you could take care of yourself, your family (if you had one) and me if I should join you in the future in a relationship. I looked at someone being gainfully employed, someone who likes to laugh and be serious too. I never looked at were they rich? Could they buy me gifts? Do they look like a model?

What is wrong with us that we will allow online dating to be the interview before we even set our eyes upon a person? Is the fine art of traditional dating gone?

All I want is to be financially secure (translated as not having to worry if the Starbuck’s coffee I’ve just bought will break us), have someone to come home to who wants me to come home to them, and learn to share my life with someone. But I guarantee you in places like millionaire match and some of the others I’ve seen, I’ll be a profile for more to laugh at then for people to actually say, “wow someone who is genuine…let me contact them”.

Yea, so my rant today which is more of a realization than anger over something is that most online dating and people anymore are superficial and materialistic and I do not like it.

‘nuff said

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I went offline last night at 8:30pm falling asleep at my desk. I fell asleep on the couch then while flipping channels until 11:30pm. At which point I got up to go to bed and promptly feel asleep at 11:35 pm sleeping through until 5am. Think I was tired?

I’ve been trying harder to get up earlier and do what I need to in the mornings. I’m not successful just yet, but I am successful as of late (the past three days or so :P) at getting a bit more sleep at least. That’s a step in the right direction. Next on the agenda is to get up 30 minutes earlier than I have to so I can walk in the mornings. Yes, typically on a work day that means I’ll need to be up at 5am everyday (I SHOULD be getting up at 5:30am normally though I rarely succeed at that :P).

I’ve given myself a year. I have one year officially from 4-16-06, to lose weight by whatever means I feel necessary except for surgery. No I wont be chronicling this progress in here… that’s just way to personal. If I cannot get my life, weight and other things under control in one years time, then I will be doing some drastic things. I look at it this way, I can live better or die miserable. It’s my choice. And I will make that choice daily.

There are some other things I’ve been thinking of as of late, though I’m not certain about them just yet, they are prevalent thoughts of mine. One of them is going back to school (see previous post). That would take money and time two things I do not have right now. But in time (hah what a joke lol) I will have both. I think it’s a good idea.

My mother sadly does not. She seems to think that what I’m looking at going to school for is an “Iffy profession”. It’s very hard on me when I feel I do not have her approval. But I’m trying to assert myself for my life. Short of finding a partner who I want to settle down with, helping other people is one of the only other things in life I have always aspired to do. In this fashion I can do it quicker and without 50k or more worth of academic debt behind me. I know she just wants me to succeed and not suffer, but what can be worse than the suffering I do now?

So today’s post is mainly a rambling of thoughts that lack definition or purpose other than to spit it out and hope it makes sense. Sorry dear readers of my drudgery for putting you through this today ;)

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WELL WISHES

Today I wish guidance and knowledge on all of my friends. May your intuition, your heart and your mind guide your path as steady as the sun shines… And may your friends and family support you.

Xo

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AND REMEMBER:

Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit.
~ Kahlil Gibran, (1883 - 1931) "The Vision"