"We must give up our will, give up control, and release our expectations about a specific result. This is where the going starts to get tough. We want what we want, and usually we want it yesterday. We need to open ourselves up to the possibility that we don't always know what's best for us." ~Kathy Cordova
Quote is taken from page 16 of: Let Go Let Miracles Happen
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I’m thinking of asking for the week before my surgery off. As the day gets closer I realize with frightening clarity that I have not dealt with this as much as I *should*. I know I can’t afford the time off (per se) but I do not know that I can afford to not deal with this either. We’ll see.
Today’s post will be short. I do not have much to say since I have a growing knot in my stomach that I only just today realized is fear; pure unbridled fear. It’s what keeps me from being able to work effectively everyday. It’s just covered in the mask of confusion.
Seriously though, since my diagnosis I can’t seem to function at work. I find that I lack the caring about my job to do anything worthwhile. I know as I’ve read in some psychology journals that this type of response is normal, but I’ve also read that I should be seeking some help to deal with these things (emotions) and I can’t.
Rather than make a sad post, or a post in anger, or whatever, I’ll leave the post with the good news that as of today I have officially 30 more prayers and as such the next book “Candles Lit in My Heart; Words to Dispel the Darkness (Reaching to Others)” is in production. Look for it by the end of day today or tomorrow.
Keep lighting the candles please… They bring me peace and well, at times like now where I’m gripped in fear, they bring me calm.
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WELL WISHES
May you know peace today and may you know you are loved.
You are a blessing to me today.
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AND REMEMBER
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others. ~Marianne Williamson
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2 comments:
Its a great idea to take the week off. Take time out for you to pray, meditate, think, reflect, clear your head, wallow in calm, watch some funny movies, spend time with your many friends who love you whether on in game, in Yahoo or just know that we're with you in spirit and prayer and presence. We love you Sue. Take some quality time for you and spoil yourself. Yeah, you should be able to just get it all done in week.
:-)
Aussie_Male
Certainly there has to be support groups for women going through cancer that you can somehow get involved in. That might be good to be able to really say what you're feeling and have someone really understand what you're going through.
I'm with Aussie Male (what a good friend he is to you) seriously just take time for you...but make sure you only watch FUNNY movies - nothing sad - and get a pedicure! I know it sounds silly, but beautiful toes and feet make a girl feel better when she's down.
You are amazing and still manage to lift other people even when you're down - an amazing gift that you so willingly share. My prayers are with you.
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