A letter of Goodbye (Long Overdue)

“With every ending, something new begins.” ~Maxine Cates

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Dear Reclusive Muse,

The time has come and can no longer be denied. I’ve tried to avoid it, but regardless it’s here. It is time for us to part ways.

You came and offered me quiet seclusion at a time when I needed that the most. When I needed to shut down the voices of insanity as my world changed dramatically, you appeared and gave me peace. You became my very close friend, shutting out almost all others, leaving just four determined people who wouldn’t let go of me, (in my original “real life” circle of friends).

I don’t mean to be all negative here; it wasn’t all bad for us. In fact, you helped bring about some good changes for me, I recognize that. But in the end your style, the closed door and closed mind approach to life as it happened around me but didn’t involve me, is not the style of life I wish to lead any longer.

It seems in my life, two times now that I can think of, I’ve had awakenings. This second awakening is one that just can’t be ignored. Even if I wanted to ignore it, other forces are at work bringing about people and circumstances in my life that force me to be aware. And you know what?

I like it.

I like being in control of what I feel (to a certain extent). I like not being even sadder than I already was, when I couldn’t call someone (and you know, I really could not call at times.) because of my depression. I like feeling the warmth of my soul’s glow when I share with others, when I give and receive hugs, when I allow people to see me. I love the possibilities that have become available to me even while I wasn’t actively seeking them.

I do not doubt my old friend, that I will see you again. That perhaps from time to time you will offer your seductive reclusion to me and I might even accept, even just for a day. But I have to be firm and tell you here and now, that it is time for our goodbye.

I smile fondly knowing you were what I needed, but I smile warmly now, knowing this is the right choice for me. I bid you adieu reclusive muse…with no regrets.

Warm regards,
Awakened/Social/Happy Muse