The Magic of the Season

“…And with a flick of a switch, Christmas was here.”

As far back as I can remember, Christmas has been much more than a season of candied apples and sparkling gifts to me. Christmas to me carries the memories of Cinnamon apples, sweet scents of pine, and the complete and total feeling of warmth, the ENTIRE season.

It’s not quite unlike looking into a snowglobe of a little village, shaking it up and seeing the lazy snowflakes fall while the warm ligts in the houses beckon to your sense of comfort begging you to … stay.

Christmas has been for me a part of my soul. As a child when the turbulent times of fear attacked me even after I was safely adopted by my mother, many things would soothe my mind. Christmas was one of those things. I lack the intelligent use of words enough to convey to you just HOW much the warmth of Christmas, it’s lights, it’s scents, the family feel, etc is as much as part of me as the blood that flows through me.

It’s more than just the basics of the season too, it’s the time when just about EVERYONE opens their heart. On Christmas eve, if you shut your eyes, and open your heart feeling with the soft touches of hope you can feel so many other people reaching too. It’s a wondrous thing to be a part of.

Since my divorce and even some time before then, I “turned” Christmas off. I reasoned that it took too long to put the decorations up, too much effort to put them away, too much time to create gifts as opposed to buying them, etc. Christmas became commercial to me so much so that the cocoa I drank lost it’s taste. When you do things in your life, you sometimes do not know the deep impact that your choices will make. I had no clue just how dead I really was with respect to this, until the flick of the switch yesterday.

Arandar, a friend of mine who has come to see me again over the holiday enjoyed the wondrous food that can ONLY be a part of Thanksgiving. We shared food, laughs, and conversation. And at the end of the night when we came back to my house, with a frivolity reserved for children we attacked the closet that has housed my dusty Christmas items. We got over zealous and pulled quite a bit of things out most of them things I would not put up in an apartment (simply for lack of space) but it was fun anyway. We pulled out the brightly colored ribbons of gold and burgundy and spread them on the couch. Then we found the bags of poinsettias used to decorate my big tree, and inside the child in me oooh’d and ahhhh’d over the glitter. We found BAGS of miniature and not so miniature ornaments that were specifically for use on my various trees.

At one point we stopped and looked and realized we had way too much out and decided against putting out my entire Christmas village, or decorating every window with lights, etc. In the end after all was said and done we placed a gold runner on my dining room table, and placed atop the table a small tree. We strung a single strand of lights around it and placed a few decorative dishes near that as well. Simple decorations really but important nonetheless.

Then…we turned the switch on.

Standing there in quiet awe the child in me leapt in joy, the adult in me sighed contentedly, and my spirit donned a Christmas outfit of cheer. The twinkling lights shone brightly in the darkened night casting out any shadows or leftover despair of any sort. The moment was unblemished by any noise save for the breaths we took quietly while standing there looking at that tiny little tree.

I had simply forgotten, what those warm lights on that little tree had to tell me. But standing there watching that tree, I remembered. And for the first time since the loss of the life I knew so long ago, since the beginning of the loneliness that had crept in becoming a permanent resident in my heart, and the finality of the changes in my life back in 2003, I felt Christmas warmth flood into me again. I didn’t feel the weight of my surgery or my depression. I was all at once aware of the precious life I had been given back, the sadness over what I had lost and humbled by the importance of it all. And somewhere along the way through this journey of emotions, hope took up residence. I stood quietly and after a moment I whispered a thank you to Arandar, my voice quiet like a child not speaking loudly for fear of breaking the spell that had been cast. I allowed myself to fully soak in the moment a bit longer and thanked him again for giving me back Christmas.

Today, I’ve opened the cocoa container, and loaded up some Christmas tunes. I’ll avoid the day after thanksgiving shoppers traffic instead heading to Mrs. Virgo’s house and partake of a second thanksgiving (not forgetting the holiday of thanksgiving that has just passed). I will celebrate that with her family and our mutual friends and I will look forward to coming home to my brightly lit Christmas tree… I will allow the love of the season to wash over me everyday reminding me that with a simple flick of the switch, the magic of Christmas was back and that hope lives on.

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WELL WISHES

May you find the moment within you that brings forth your inner child or rejuvenates your senses and brings about warmth. May your memories smell of apples and cinnamon even faintly, just enough to help you remember. May your heart as always be open, but may you also reach out and feel others opening and be receptive to that. May today whatever your endeavors entail be a day of purpose, happiness, and at the end of it… peace. May your cider always be warm and your hugs warmer still. And quietly slipping in unnoticed so that you too awaken to the sense of it overtaking you, may you be open to the spirit of Christmas, the magic of the season. May it be the bearer of hope that gives you reason to smile brighter.

You are a blessing to me today.

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ONE LAST THING
I’ve begun working on ATC’s recently, and with the event of Christmas returning, I’ve begun making themed cards. Should you find an interest within yourself of having one of these, you need only email me your information. If you do not know what an ATC is, well here then is a link, and here, and here…

:)