Kiarai 1960 - 2005 "Rest in peace my sister...my friend"

Who wants to live forever…forever is our today…
~In Loving Memory of Kiarai 1960 to 11-9-2005

Life is too short. It’s short and its unfair. I had a friend. Still do… I mean, she’s in my heart. But she’s no longer among the bright lights of souls in this plane of existence. The thing is we had –just- started to get close. There were uncanny similarities between her and my real life sister Pam. Including if you can believe this, how they died…

Both had Anuerysm’s. Different kinds of aneurysms but both had them. Pam’s was an aneurysm in her brain at the stem of her brain the hypothalamus.

Kiarai’s aneurysm:
An aortic aneurysm (AN'u-rizm) is a bulge in a blood vessel, much like a bulge on an over-inflated inner tube. Aneurysms are dangerous because they may burst.

Pam’s Aneurysm:
A brain aneurysm, also called a cerebral or intracranial aneurysm, is an abnormal bulging outward of one of the arteries in the brain. It is estimated that up to one in 15 people in the United States will develop a brain aneurysm during their lifetime.

Brain aneurysms are often discovered when they rupture, causing bleeding into the brain or the space closely surrounding the brain called the subarachnoid space, causing a subarachnoid hemorrhage. Subarachnoid hemorrhage from a ruptured brain aneurysm can lead to a hemorrhagic stroke, brain damage and death.

The fact of the matter is that aneurysms as a whole are rare…and now two people I know were affected by this. One person I had just started to get close to after a lifetime of distance (for various reasons). The other person I had just started to get close to so much so that she called me sister. One of the few people I openly trusted with my deepest secrets. Her final email to me was in response to a very lengthy email I sent her telling her of things about me… She called the email subject “Little pieces to hold and protect”.

The following are little snippets of the email in question that are what I find to be the most important and poignant parts of it…

“I can promise you this, till the day of my death none of this will escape my lips, and when I die I shall drink deeply the waters of the River Lethe, so that neither gods nor demons will pry it from me!”

“We are indeed sisters in spirit. Just don’t loose hope. You have 3 strong friends that stuck by you through your blackest time. You also have Michael and I. We will be there to help you when you need it. Just hold on sister, if I can find a pearl in all the sludge, so can you.”

“I feel like I should say more, respond directly to the things you have told me, but the stronger feeling I have is to just let you know, and keep telling you, that you are loved Susan, very much. I promise you this, when I am stable here, I will ask if I can come see you. We will go shopping, have drinks, and do what ever else comes into our heads”

“You have given me a piece of your soul Susan, to hold, cherish and protect, and I will do so.”

And now in an attempt to get my emotions back under control at work, I shall end with a moments silence for my friend, my sister who might have been, and the bright spirit whose light was extinguished long before many were ready for it to be so…


For Kiara: 1960 - 2005
Would that your words strike the match in my heart
The time of which matters not
How soon do we say we love?
Would that your presence provide the calm to my sea of torment
The moment you brighten my day
I barely knew today what your love was
When it was taken before it could bloom
Would that I hold the one piece, fragment I was given
Hold it tight and place it forever in my box of memories
How much would I give to hand it back to you?
And have the whole of you
Would that I cry for your loss, and celebrate your existence
How soon did I say I love you?
Not soon enough...
…I love you.
©SKW