Today's Journey begins with the Fool...

Today do one act of kindness for another:  Call a friend you haven’t called in a long time.  Tell them how wonderful they are.  Enjoy this conversation & tell them you love them.

This morning on your way to work (or when you first get up if on a weekend) say a prayer of thanks for those friends in your sacred heart.  Send them love and light to guide their day.

Well since the only people who even have this link are those in my heart, I send you all love and thoughts of health and joy today.  Whatever life throws at you, today it can be handled.  And tomorrow too, and so on and so on.  

Wish me luck friends, I’m about to embark on a difficult journey.  No not travel related :P you know I can’t stand flying lol.  But a personal one.  Just wish me luck.  

I’m working on another book (I can’t keep still it seems anymore).  But this book is going to be different.  I eluded to it in my earlier posts, but it’s still evolving as we speak.  Once we get the character and story sketched out without gaps, the co-author I’ve chosen and I will begin writing the story.  It is my HOPE, GOAL, etc that writing of the actual novel will take no more than 100 days.  Should be ample time to complete what’s already there.  Then after the initial writing, will come revisions etc.  I expect this will take a minimum of 4 months, and possibly more like 6 months.  

I’m going to also work with my partner to not only publish this on lulu.com, but also market it to publishing firms.  I want to see what that process is like.  The nice thing is the pressure is off because I know at least it will be published, even if no big publishing house wants it.  

In the course of my day I always think of things I can do that I can make a living at.  My current job, customer service in telecommunications, is NOT what I want anymore.  My work shows that as I could care less about it…  I can’t do something I love to do (i.e. soap etc) because then it becomes a “job” and not a passion.  So the medium for me (I think) is to do something I like to do, but is not all consuming passion etc.  Because then I can truly enjoy it while I do it.  The trick is to find something I don’t HAVE to do all the time either…  Hence, writing as an option.  

I believe that writing will not only keep me young (in terms of imagination creativity etc) but will also keep me happy.  I’m most happy when I’m helping others, creating, and expressing myself.  I think this will do all of those things and never (even if successful) become as tedious as a day job would be.  SHOULD I get to the point where I don’t have to work full time but I can write, this is my ultimate goal because then I can write when I want, continue doing the things I want for folks online, and do the things I enjoy like making things etc and giving them to folks.  I think in my thoughts lately THIS is the dream I should pursue.  

The thing that sucks about this is that I do not have the financial means yet to be without a day job so in the interim to my wild success :P   I have to find something I can do that wont kill me…  Which leads me to more thoughts of cutting money.  Perhaps living with my mother is an option that I *should* consider.  I could live practically rent free, and as such get a job that has less pay.  This would allow me to get into a creative career without hurting over a pay cut.  But it would cut my sanity as I’m sure my mother and I would kill each other.

Which brings me to the next thing.  I’ve had a few offers to live with some folks, whether I would move out of state or not, I have had offers… I’m not sure how well I would do in a roommate situation.  If I *had* to do it, I’m sure I would, but the point is I don’t *have* to right now.  I have to determine how much my freedom from responsibility and expectations is worth.  That’s the bottom line lately.  This decision will tell me how much I need to make, and subsequently tell me what I need to do right now.  Sigh
I was afraid after the divorce of living alone.  Not that I couldn’t do it but I had lived with people all my life, first my mother, then my husband.  Now that I’ve been alone for two years, I’m petrified of living with someone again.  I’m very VERY torn over this choice.  I’m hoping that as I pick my head up out of the sand more and more that the answer will come to me because of the things I’ll be doing in my life.  At least I hope so…

For now I must go and find a means to look busy for 8 hours (could I just die please).  Sigh

Random poetry comin atcha
On the verge of destiny, the fool’s step falters
His journey is foretold, his step should be sure
With baited breath in early morning
In the dark stillness he waits
Looking ahead over the proverbial cliff
Neither looking down at what can be his fall
Nor seeing his destination in the distance
Foggy plumes of air escape as he exhales
Waiting for certainty, waiting for strength
The dog nipping at his heels; a warning or a push?
Indecision roots him
Until the sunrise explodes on the scene
Coloring all in the brilliant hues of simple joy
Lighting his form with blissful warmth
Reassured by this natural, unexpected beauty he smiles
And takes the step.
Will you? Will I?