The stillness of her heartbeat...

"Love much. Earth has enough of bitter in it." ~Ella Wheeler Wilcox


“Wherever you go, go with all your heart.” ~Confucius

“Only do what your heart tells you.” ~Princess Diana

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There is something to be said about the power of touch.  It can be harmful, it can be helpful, it may even save your life.  

I notice little things a lot these days.  I notice how many people do or don’t light candles.  I notice how many do or don’t read my blog.  I even notice when someone is on the phone with me, how the conversation goes from one of normalcy to one of “Oh she’s talking and crying about that”.  I seem to notice a lot of little things like that, things that sometimes make me sad.  

But I also notice things that are uniquely special.  Things like freeze frame moments of time that have all the quality of a rich chocolate that you just want to savor.  I notice how someone’s eyes can convey entire expressions of emotions without a single word being uttered.  I notice the way people have helped me who I never thought would even be able to have done so without question.  I have seen strangers reach out to help me just because they felt something special for me and I’ve been grateful for their assistance.  I’ve heard of others praying and felt their prayers as if they were falling off my very own lips.  I’ve felt at times, a calm stillness overtake me that helps me to see the breeze rustling through the trees and slow things down like my racing heart when gripped in fear.

But nothing, can replace the soft calm that hearing your mother’s heartbeat can and has always given you.  

I’ve been trying to be so strong for people around me because mostly people keep telling me “you have to be” because it’s what it is.  So I’ve pushed off hugs from my mother in an attempt to be strong and deal with it, chin up, feet first.  But that’s not me.  I’m the one (lately) who is crumpled over a chair somewhere crying until I can get it out of me and then and only then be able to move on.  But this weekend I realized quickly and was reminded gently that there are just some things you can’t ever replace with cold logic and precise forward movement.  They are things intended to be gently enjoyed, at a pace much slower than life.

Talking with my mother this weekend was easy.  Conversation was good, beneficial etc.  And at one point, we hugged.  She stood behind me and I was sitting and so this hug whisked me back to the days when I was a little girl hugging my mother tightly.  Those days were days before I had to be so strong to face things because no matter what MOM would be there.  I don’t know what we were talking about but I know that when I rested my head against her chest, and heard her heartbeat, that even if just for those few seconds, it was going to be ok.

Have you ever sat and just quietly watched a very tall tree sway in the breeze?  The sensation of peace and calm was exactly like watching those trees.  And it gave me pause… and comfort.  The two things I needed the most in my busy day of activity and uncertainty.

There are just some things that can never be replaced.  And sometimes in the space of stillness before chaos if you listen you can hear and sometimes even feel the heartbeat of those who love you, including and especially the heartbeat of your mothers heart…  Sometimes too for those who miss their mothers all you need to do is close your eyes and place your hand over your own heart.  Sometimes just knowing she’s there inside you and always has been, is the best medicine you will ever find.

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WELL WISHES
I hope for this Monday, you find love in your heart for your mother, for your family, for your loved ones.  You can never replace your family so treat them with all the tenderness you would treat any rare exotic flower or garden.  Because that’s what family is, our garden of joy and love and we should tend it with all the sunlight our hearts have to give, all of the time.  

You are a blessing to me everyday…
XO

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AND REMEMBER

In time of test, family is best.  ~Burmese Proverb