An Apology...

First, let me apologize.  I know Saturday’s post was extremely tacky and vague.  In fact, I’m considering deleting it.  I try hard to not curse too much in writing and to drop an F bomb just doesn’t look good to begin with no matter what.

Second let me apologize again for making you folks wait another day to even hear from me.  This weekend was particularly hard on me and I spent most of Saturday crying, and all of Sunday in a fog.  

It started with Friday.  I had made some last minute plans with some friends and I was SOOO looking forward to it.  It had been a while since I had been spontaneous and said “Yea, lets go out even though it’s on the same day”.  I went home from work (frantically trying to get out of the office as S had recently said she was going to change my hours  to 8-5…that’s a whole other argument) and did what I needed to do to get ready to go out.  

Then just as I headed out I got sick.  My stomach hurt so bad.  I didn’t know what was wrong with me but I was determined I was going to go out and get past this!  In the 5 minutes maybe 10 it took me to drive to the destination I got worse.  So much so that I went to the store nearby to get medicine.  I made it to the coffeehouse and hoped and prayed that the medicine would kick in.  Thankfully it did and after a short time I was able to relax and even enjoy the company.  Thank GOD for medicine!  

Thanks too, to Dana and T for the wonderful time.  I truly enjoyed our conversation.  It was good to just be out with the girls *smile*

Then I get home and I’m still throughout the night going back and forth with not feeling well.  I finally tried to get some sleep and while I fell asleep it was not a restful sleep.  

Saturday comes and I’m up early with the installer coming to my house at 7am or 8am to do the changes in my apartment.  He shows up and does his work but at the end of his visit (around 2pm or so) things start spiraling downward.  Something I’ve had for a long time has been changed.  And change as you know is never easy, especially not for a situation such as this.  It left me very sad.  All night long I cried, or just sat numb.  

Then after this event, I get a phone call from my mother who informs me that one of my girlfriends fathers has passed away.  This man was like a father to me in my younger years and he will be very missed.  This loss has the two girls A & M very upset and me on the sidelines upset too.  

This was the cocktail of depression that sank in Saturday night and left me hiding all day Sunday.

So my apologies for the post Saturday, I should have just not posted anything at all if I weren’t ready to post what happened.  

*****

I’m better today now.  Though I got to work and crony is in already.  I HATE days like this.  I woke up with a sinus headache and through my tried and true methods I was able to make the ice pick in the head pain I had, turn into a dull roar and was able to shower by candlelight.  Soon after that it went to a dull ache and I was able to drive.  I made it here on time today but was NOT happy to see her here. And she was talkative today too *sigh*.   I shot an email to S asking for Tuesday off so that I can go to the funeral and I’m almost sure I’ll get it, but at a payloss.  The thing is, we’re not very busy here.  I don’t see why my being out is a problem.  I mean sure we have random spurts of busy-ness, but for the most part we’re not busy enough to justify my salary full time as it is.  I worry everyday that I may lose my job.  I’m submitted my resume online again, but I’m not sure that’s going to help. Additionally even if I DO get lucky and get a phone call I have no clue how I would interview.  

Which brings me to the next thing… S has made mention of changing my hours to 8-5.  She’s recently gotten some calls at like 4:30 or so.  And she can’t do them I suppose?  I will not work 8-5 here.  The drive already is 45 minutes,  add that drive to rush hour and you have a full hour drive BOTH ways.  I wont do that.  

Sad to say, but I just do not care about telecommunications anymore.  The industry has not been kind to me, and quite honestly the customers now think that they are OWED service.  I mean I could care less that you can’t see the name and number of who’s calling.  CallerID is a FEATURE not DIAL tone.  If you can’t make or receive calls THAT’s important, but caller id is NOT.

So I should probably look for another job not in this industry if that’s the way I feel.  And doing so means a huge paycut and doing that means either a roommate or moving in with mom…

*****
Well Wishes today:

To EVERYONE may your day prove to be wonderful and provide you at least one thing you desire today.

~Sue