Cinderella works in Telecommunications...as a Maid

So I’ve not spoken to crony today except around “S” which is always safe because there is someone else present. Still she finds a way to immediately get under my skin and cause an issue so bad that it has me outside fuming again.

“I need a favor of you” is how she starts. Immediately the hairs on my neck stand up. “Yes?” as I turn to face her. “Make sure if “C” or myself isn’t here and you leave at night, that not only is my radio turned off, but so is the humidifier, and for god’s sake clean out the coffee pot. We don’t have a maid service you know”. To which I calmly replied, “I didn’t hear your radio on, you have the volume incredibly low, the humidifier hasn’t been on in a week, and as for the coffee I normally DO clean it out”. “WELL IT’S DIRTY IN THERE RIGHT NOW!” she says raising her voice slightly but looking like she’s ready to fight. No arguing or reasoning is possible.

“Okay Crony” I say, resigning myself to going outside and torturing myself with the frigid air rather than being in her presence for one more second.

What is it about her that always makes me feel like the proverbial kid with the hand in the cookie jar? I mean how it is possible for me to not have done a THING, not even talked to her and yet still find a way to have done something wrong, I’ll never comprehend?

For you folks, here is my to do list for the office:

1. Change the tape in the server in the morning (even if I’m not the first in, apparently it’s too much for the aged hens of the office to remember to do)


2. Clean out the coffee pot everyday because “We all have to do our part to ensure this office is clean, we don’t have a service that does this for us you know”.


3. Make a fresh pot of coffee on the days I THINK “C” might be in. But don’t make it too early because then it just sits there and she has to remake it. Not only is that a waste of coffee, but it also means someone else has to clean something and well we can’t have that.


4. Make sure the counters are wiped down every time I go in the kitchen or bathroom because apparently the RoM (Range of movement) of any of the hens arms never exceeds two inches in front of them and therefore the counters ALWAYS have coffee grounds, and water spilled on them.


5. Make sure to check all toile paper rolls, and paper towel rolls every morning because undoubtedly if its low, even if I’ve not been in either room at ALL, I will be blamed for not changing them.


6. NEVER ever leave any food (like onions) in the fridge without putting it in a non existent plastic bag for storage because the whole fridge for the 5 minutes the onion remains, smells like onions.


7. Always on Fridays throw out your old food because crony will if you wont


8. NEVER open a new item, use the last of an item, make something no one but you will want, order for delivery on days when crony isn’t here but the rest of the office is, never order for delivery when crony IS here, always pay your taxes on time, and NEVER, EVER let your car registration sticker wait until the last day of the month it’s due because you WILL be chastised by crony for not mailing it in a month or more before the due date despite your financial situation dictating otherwise.


9. Do preparation meditation for the stress that Crony gives me just by being in the office M-W-F.

I’m sure there are more. For now this is what I can think of.

Breathing…. Through clenched teeth, but I’m breathing…