And on Friday the muse said LET THERE BE LOTS OF SUGAR, & thus it was so, & thus it was good :P

"There are two ways of spreading light; to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it." ~Edith Wharton

To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
~Be proud of who you are.  You are a strong, beautiful, talented woman.  Reward yourself! Submitted by: Beth Karel

Today’s affirmations above…  Thank you Beth for the wonderful reminder that I have some worth in this world, believe it or not it is easy to forget. ;)  As for the first quote, I’ve always said to folks who said I was special “I’m just the mirror, I can only give out what you give me “.  

I can’t thank you folks enough for contributing these affirmations.  The list keeps growing and believe it or not I have now a total of 14 pages of affirmations, prayers, reminders of how I’ve affected someone, memories of love shared, etc.  I won’t say it’s a miracle cure for things, but it has certainly given me a great amount of peace these past few weeks.  

Excitement is growing over this book.  In 5 days I will close the submissions and work on finishing the rest of the book. The press release is written and ready to go, and the cover is almost done being voted on.  There are some surprises in this book for some people.  I hope they enjoy it.  

I’ve never been one to single people out, but in our lives sometimes others stand out over the rest, and other times different people do.  Some of my work celebrates a moment when one particular person or a group of people stood out.  I hope that people who read this do not feel slighted that they didn’t get a mention.  This whole BOOK is for all of you.  Truly the big picture message is for EVERYONE especially those I call friend to know that this was done for you.  This is something I felt so strongly about that I was compelled, obsessed even, with it.  

I even wrote a new poem for it!  

I know lately my muse has been quiet in the writing department but I think that’s just focused energy on this book.  It seems it’s all I can talk about (and thank you all for listening and nodding politely when I babble on about it :P).  

Here’s the timeline.  Money is hard for me so the “mass” production of this will be in stages as money presents itself.  

1. First and foremost  get the book created and uploaded to lulu.com.  It will ONLY be available in hard bound.  I’m not at this time, offering this electronically as I wish to have this document/book kept safe for as long as possible from the world of piracy and copying.


2. Buy the ISBN Code that does the following (from lulu.com):

a. gives a unique ISBN for your book

• A scannable Bookland-EAN bar code automatically printed on the back cover (not applicable to one-piece covers)


• Your book listed in Books In Print, the searchable database that librarians, booksellers, publishers, students, faculty, researchers, library patrons and bookstore customers use to find the exact titles they need


• The ability to take your books into the local bookstore for them to sell


• Once I do that, then I’ll need to buy the press release package from major PR companies to get my press release read


• Buy a copy of the book for myself and if possible a few others for other special folks


• Buy several copies of the book for the retail shops locally to me.  (and somewhere before this step conclude negotiations for them to advertise the book and such…)

It is a lot to do for sure.  I’ve included a dedication page.  It may seem a bit overdone, but while the utopia skye community knows who and what Jessie stood for, the average reader won’t.  I’ve also made a page of personal thank you notes.  It’s important to me that credit be given where due.

I want to send a shout out today to a new friend Phil who has made my enjoyment of There.come exceptional lately.  Cheers for good conversation, understanding, and communication my friend!  

Random Poetry (A Haiku for all my friends, yes Phil and Kevin that includes you too :P)

When winter abates
I’m left with warmth in my heart
This, is thanks to you

One mans garbage is anothers treasure

Just as treasures are uncovered from the earth, so virtue appears from good deeds, and wisdom appears from a pure and peaceful mind. To walk safely through the maze of human life, one needs the light of wisdom and the guidance of virtue.”  ~ Hindu Prince Gautama Siddharta, the founder of Buddhism, 563-483 B.C.

"Life is not a random event. It has purpose and provides for the unfoldment of a divine plan with opportunities to make choices and decisions in every moment."----Collin C. Tipping

Ok so I really didn’t “pull” the second one, but you have to admit that is a damn good quote!  Today is a decent day.  You know what sucks though?  Getting old!  Man I remember a time when I would be up all damn night and be only mildly tired the next day.  Now when I’m up too late I suffer for it for like 4 days LOL.  I got really excited about being back in there.com recently.  And on Saturday I decided to purchase a home and decorate it…  I was up quite late and then went to bed and got up two hours later.  I’m STILL recuperating.  Ah well what are you going to do right?

The good news of the day:

I’M GOING OUT TONIGHT!

Yup you read right.  I’m going for sushi!  A friend from Ohio is in town on business and wanted to get together and he said the magic word: SUSHI.  How could I refuse?  

I’m a bit tired this morning, at 4am the neighbor across the hall (Used to be psycho guy, but I think it’s his wacky sister now) has been drilling, pounding, and doing construction starting at like 4am.  Its bad enough that the movie “The Grudge” has me sleeping with the hall light on the past few nights (Oh come in, it’s not that scary, but the ONLY light in my bedroom – my closet light, went out RIGHT as the woman that scares everyone showed up and the music was loud and scary and I’ve been scared ever since :P), but now I have to deal with construction.  It’s better than people banging on my door, drunk in the halls I suppose, but where I couldn’t GET to sleep because of psycho dude, now I cant STAY asleep because of his wacky sister.  Some family…

I’ve been talking to everyone I can think of about the book.  I even called a few work associates from previous employers and have been touting this book to them.  I have a few pre-orders already for it.  I hope it continues to gain momentum.  Wouldn’t it be cool if it wound up on the New York Times bestseller list?  I far fetched dream I know but think about it.  How KICK BUTT would it be to have Jessie’s story on the bestseller list!?

It’s funny though, people keep telling me I’m doing such a special thing, and I’m so special for doing this for free, etc. The truth of the matter is, I don’t feel special.  I mean in some sense I do of course, how can you NOT feel special when you do SOUL work.  But in the “I’m doing a kick ass type of thing” frame of mind, I just don’t feel special lol.  I just REALLY believe in the message that Jessie has.  I also believe in the message I’ve been touting since my emergence into the online world and that’s the same message I’ve FELT for years, but had no outlet to express because people in the “real world” are afraid.  And that message is that it’s ok to care about others and be open.  I used to tell people when they’d say You’re so kind or whatever… I used to say “I’m only a mirror”.  I truly believe that.  I can only give out what I see within that is given to me.  And as for being special I keep saying I’m not, because EVERYONE has the ability to do and feel the same as I do.  It’s just that most do not choose.

I have my own failing, lord knows!  I get depressed a LOT, I have a temper (yes I do) that’s pretty hot, I’m impatient and I get panicky if I think that something (game, person, event or whatever) is treating me unfairly.  I’m almost manic sometimes.  BUT with that extreme down side, anger whatever, is a JUST as extreme bright side.  And when I’m fully into that bright side, the whole world knows it.  I felt it in my car this morning.  It’s like a sensation that “washes” over you.  Call me crazy or maybe I’m just spouting off what you already know but the feeling is quite pleasant.  It makes me want to shine bright and be a beacon for folks to look at and smile and be happy.  

Ok lest you folks think I’m TOTALLY off my rocker, I’ll end this post with… Love, Light, and lots of smiles for you all today.
XO
~S

Digital Soup

Wow how time flies…

It’s been 5 days since I posted and I missed it *kisses her blog* I hope you all missed my posts too :D Otherwise I’ll just cry (J/k)

I’ve been so busy lately with the project that I call a miracle project lol in that it has renewed interest and is now moving full steam ahead! The Digital soup project that last week Wednesday I had practically written of as not do-able has been revived and is almost in the final stages. I decided to post one last time about the project and offer a firm date for submissions and since then… WOW. The book is complete with an original cover, and is now 135 pages long as of today! I’m so excited for this project.

So those of you who may not be aware of it know, it’s a project I’ve been working on for two years now. It is dedicated to Jessie Smith who died of cancer June 13, 2004. She was an integral part of our community. The message in this dedication is one she wrote herself and you can read it on the utopia skye forums in the Chat! How’s Life section. The title is officially Digital Soup and the book contains three sections

1. Digital Soup for the heart and Soul; and Online Collaboration (this is where people from all walks of life who play on the internet, work on the internet, or chat online have submitted works to me highlighting their stories and the benefits of being online. There are some very special stories in this section).


2. Digital Soup Expressions; Letters from the House of Love (this is a section devoted entirely to love letters I’ve written. These are love letters that while inspired by others are written entirely of a fictitious nature for enjoyment and insight into the many facets of love)


3. Digital Soup- The Book of Light; Little Snippets of Joy (this is a section that houses a collection of about 22 of my light poems. Poems of love, joy, friendship etc. There are some new writings previously unpublished in there as well as a piece written in the spirit of this project itself).

I am highly promoting this book and hope that it is successful in its endeavor to carry a positive message to many. In light of this I have decided that I am not going to take any royalties (aside from publication cost) preferring instead to donate to a Cancer foundation from Utopia Skye in honor of Jessie.

I have set a minimum cap that will go to the cancer foundation. If we exceed that then it’s a split of 75%/25%, the 25% to cover the cost of publication and marketing as well as help fund Utopia Skye. Please if you can see your way to support this project, please do so. You can look for the book at http://www.lulu.com/ mid February. If you wish to make arrangements to purchase multiple copies to be distributed to your local stores please get in touch with me and we can work this out together at a slightly lower cost.

In my life I want to make a difference. Even if I do NOTHING else but send a message of love out just this once, then I will have accomplished something and helped some others along the way. This is truly a project of love.

Thank you for sharing in it with me
XO

~S

Goodbye Utopia Skye Radio

Yesterday I closed down the radio station. Utopia Skye radio has been around officially (this past December) for three years now. But its time had come to an end. It’s sad really, but it just seemed to pass quietly without so much as a peep.

Perhaps in time I will be on air again, or the station may come back. Who knows right?

Another thing that will not come to fruition is the Digital Soup book. I just don’t have the contributions for it. Those that did contribute worry not, your work will still be published, but it will have to go in a book of other things as well so we can get the most content possible. This book will house the digital soup section, Love letters section, muse chronicles, and a few other poems that I wish to publish. It will be a book dedicated first and foremost to the memory of Jessie, and secondly will celebrate the ongoing memory that Utopia Skye is. It will hopefully celebrate that for a brief moment in time people came together, formed something special, and created friendships that will last a lifetime.

It remains at this point untitled, though I’m toying with things such as :

Circle of Light Messages (A slogan Jessie and I coined)
Memoirs of Utopia Skye
Or something else… creativity eludes me at this moment

I am going to have a graphic artist create an image for the cover since I am unable to have others do it. This will be a unique image, something I will be paying for so that it will be one of a kind. The book will be hard bound to help preserve it. I hope it does well.

Short of maintaining the boards, and allowing for any new creative endeavors as they come up, this book will be my last large utopia skye project (barring any creative urges that is).


As for the radio, there are a few things I will never forget about it. Today’s post will be a reflection/celebration/expression of the things that *I* think the radio station did for the good for many.

1. The two very special Jessie broadcasts; Jessie went into two comas during her sickness. The first one, we truly thought was to be her last time with us. It was the first time it was let out publicly that she was ill and when people found out their sadness was overwhelming. So many people needed to talk, share, express, that I just didn’t know what to do to help them. So I went on air. We made a special Jessie broadcast that encompassed songs she had requested passed to me to play or songs that reminded us of her. Most of us that could, met in the Game the Sims Online and we just sat around talking, laughing, crying if necessary and just *being*. That night while I was on air, was the first time I let myself truly lose my professionalism and broke down in tears. During this time Jessie was in ICU and because they thought it was the end, they allowed her entire family in as one group along with the laptop to stream the station. The family just stood around Jessie and listened to me. Nurses, and doctors as the family told me would stop in and just stand with them and listen. And the culmination of the night for me in importance was that each and every family member of hers got on Al’s (Jessie’s fiancé) yahoo ID and thanked me for the peace I offered their daughter/family. It was one of the single most important moments of my life in that I *KNEW* without a shadow of a doubt I had touched someone. The next day which was a Sunday, Jessie woke up from her coma. It was deemed a miracle. A little known fact about that day that I’ve kept fairly quiet is that a few weeks after this all, Jessie and I locked away in a house in Interhogan in TSO were discussing this event. In her own way, on her own terms she told me something very special. That while she was… asleep, she heard me. She heard my voice and my music and even as she felt she was being pulled away, she wanted to go to me. That leaves me with a wealth of emotion that I just can’t sort. Whether or not you believe in things such as these, I know she did and thus… so did I. This was a very special radio time for me.

All in all we had two of these broadcasts; both times she was in comas, both times when people needed to come together, share and express.

2. Embarrassing stories of the muse.; Who can forget the KFC Breasts story? Or the Butler and Pickles story? Those two stories as I’m told are legend around these parts, because they entail very embarrassing moments that I found myself in. On the boards to this day you’ll see posts and references in threads to both these stories and others that were shared while on air and online. Why you ask did I embarrass myself? Because it made people laugh, and that was worth it.

3. Dancing in the Circle of Light; One day in The Sims Online, I had been told that some folks were talking about me. It made me VERY sad. A group of people came to the circle of light where I was and through a night of just being with friends and such, a radio show was created that had us all dancing in game and laughing and joking. This was the show where the phrase “Hug your PC” was coined by Emma Dilorenzo, and the TSO Mambo # 5 was born. It turned out to be a wonderful day after all.

4. Skye-Mercials!; One day on a broadcast in I believe Calvin’s Creek in TSO, The wonder twins Emma Dilorenzo and my Sims were born (We had created almost exact look alike Sims when we created there, therefore we were the wonder twins). During this show we went around saying “Wonder Twin Powers activate” and had a huge RP based around our powers which were the ability to dip kiss people lol. I was on air at the time and during random songs, I would bust in using my very best commercial voice make commercials about the people on the lot. Anyone remember “An Emma a day keeps sickness at bay?” Or “Dimona Demolition, the ass that could break down walls?”. This was the humble beginning of Skye-Mercials. One of the wonderful DJ’s DJOmega (most know him as Shaun) decided to create commercials he actually recorded in MP3 format that were distributed to all the DJ’s to play during their shows. These commercials were: “Muse dust” – commemorating the fact that people were always so happy around me(as I was) that they must be on drugs, “Sylph Spray” – the refreshing non alcoholic all purpose cleaner and thirst quencher, “Tony Pyrotechnics” – celebrating our perpetual need to burn down Tony’s clubs in TSO using fireworks and pyrotechnics, “Muse Maid” – created after the muse dancing craze in SWG swept the server of Chilastra, "Shish's Obituary" - where we would commemorate the fake passing of Shish (supposedly at my hands :P), ami’s Room; Where things disappear” – where we commemorate … Kami’s room … where things disappear :P. Shaun was the official Skye-Mercial Master!

5. Jelly Belly contests; How many people went to the jelly belly site after the third broadcast of contests involving knowing what flavor Jelly Belly I was eating after hearing only a color description of it? Quite a few as I’ve been told :P These contests won afforded the winners the ability to name one person a jelly belly name resulting in Elindo (aka Shaun aka DJOmega) being renamed Elindoberry. It also resulted in many a sugar high for me as I would eat almost a full jar of Jelly Belly’s each show :P

6. RENAMED!; We have had the wonderful honor of producing the first ever rename the person contest. If for whatever reason I could not pronounce your name the first time it was spoken, you just *HAD* to be renamed. Participants in this contest that were where I was physically in game got to offer up 8 selections of names that they would like this person to be renamed to. There were two private votes also cast one by the person who was to be renamed and one by a special person unnamed, just to be fair to everyone. Oh the lovely names we came up with. Here is an example of a contest, and the names that were to have been voted on.In this example we were to rename: Ahtu (well you try and say it fast it sounds like a sneeze!) The available voteable choices were: frank, Alfalfa, Fluffy Bunny Man (FBM for short), Shaniqua, Neal, Griswold, Bob, Alucard, Mikey, and Matt. In Ahtu’s case he was renamed Fluffy Bunny Man. Here is a list of all the folks renamed:

Iaer - Bob
Uberjake - Herman Muffy Ochre Limpid Turps Cod (Herman Muffy for short)
Desare - Lakyle Half Wood
Makesh - Frank
Sinagh - Bella
Felyndiira - Ethel
viduus - TYRONE!
Brahndi - BILLY BOB!
Muireadach - Marry-A-Doc!!!
Cynleigh - Sinfull
Ce'Nedra - BETSY!!!!
Kairai - RALPH!!!
AHTU - Fluffy Bunny Man
Eler - Saaahhha

The last renamed contest was completed on 10-17-05

7. The all night parties where the line went on for hours; When the first radio parties were introduced via LdyThalia in Jolly Pines (TSO). People would wait for hours because my properties were always full. We ran many contests, had theme parties, role play parties and generally all manner of fun. We even had parties dedicated to people. I remember the Dana Kate party held at SIMply Weddings in Interhogan, that revolved around the lovely moaning noise the workout benches would make. Basically taking the noise and of course, expanding on it :P It was fun for all. As a matter of fact, that party in particular was the day I met and adopted Kami if I remember correctly. There was also a party in Interhogan at Club Utopia Skye, held during November of 2003 that started at 6pm and was an 80’s offbeat request only thread. It took dJ Dea HOURS to find and get the songs for the list that were put together by the party goer. But after that party another party ensued that continued on until AFTER maintenance the next day (8am). This means the party went from 6pm until 8:30am the NEXT day. Talk about fun (

And now to commemorate the DJ’s Past and present on the station:
First the original cast: DJSayurie, DJVortex, DJThalia, DJShade, DJAlexis
Second Wave: DJ Anthony Giovanni, DJSylph, DJKari,
Third Wave: DJ Dimona, DJEmma, DJLongfeather, DJTrance, DJDea
Fourth Wave: DJCray, DJEmma Dilorenzo
Fifth and final wave: DJZor Primus, DJBEnny (NitaKynes), DJInuc, DJDarvin, DJShish (or DJShit as most knew him :P)

Each DJ had their own personality, show, and style. Some moved on to DJ on different stations performing exceptionally well at their new endeavors, and some even went on to create their own stations. But I remember them all for the wonderful things they brought to Utopia Skye radio.

And now to honor those listeners who for three years, listened faithfully to us, through thick and thin. We never would have made it past the first year if it weren’t for you. You made us who we were. Thank you.

There were so many memories, things I’m sure I missed, people I may even have missed but I assure you while you may not have made it on this blog entry you have made it to my heart where the memory of you and your presence, or your gifts, or your time and dedication remains constant.

Thank you all for allowing me to experience a wonderful facet of life and sharing it with me for this long.

*hugs and kisses*
~S

Hard Affirmations...

Today I can handle whatever comes up, knowing that I am surrounded with all the positive energies of good and love in the universe.
You CAN surpass whatever life throws at you.  KNOW this, and do it.  

Rule One - You will receive a body. Whether you love it or hate it, it's yours for life, so accept it. What counts is what's inside.
~Cherie Carter Scott- Rules of Life
Today love your body.  Give yourself a hug


Wow two affirmations that speak to the very things I feel I fail at…  Today will be a bit rough dealing with these ;)  


The first one as of late( meaning the past two years) has been a difficult one, because I handled so much at one point in my life that I just think it got to be too much.  I just think that I just didn’t WANT to handle things anymore you know?  Just avoid the situations that cause these “things” to come up and then voila! I don’t have to deal with them.  The problem is that when something comes up now, I find I’m less equipped to deal with it than I was a few years ago.  I know it’s like riding a bike, you never quite forget… but sometimes it takes a while for the knowledge to come back to you.

As for the second one, well this is a HUGE subject for me.  Literally.  A lifetime of ridicule starting early on left me robbed of a good self image.  Perpetuating that was my always being the outcast (yes I was lol, it was only college and beyond that somehow, people started to see who I was all along).  But beyond that, (I know I’m skirting the deep issue here, but this is particularly hard because it is where I’m most vulnerable and as much as I share here, this *is* a public blog…) I know that my core issue is with my body.  Everything centers around that.  It’s easy to look at me and say “Well just do ______.  You know that’s all you need” but it’s not so easy to be in my shoes.  

Sure I know peope overcome things all the time, and I hope to be one of those someday but for now I am not.  I’m someone who is at war with my body.  And believe it or not, my body is at war right back at me…  This … exercise in my resolution of self love is my attempt to make peace with my body even if it doesn’t change right away.  It seems to be doing well in small steps, but as much as I’ve posted here about being more upbeat etc… I still have my days.  I just post less about them.

Facing this particular issue is hard.

It’s so much a part of who I am that when I was in talk with someone on the phone he even made mention “That seems to be a huge issue for you”.  I was shocked that I had apparently said so much to someone who hadn’t even met me that he (sorry guys, but on top of that he’s a guy and HE even got the clue) saw my issue.  

I am so conscious about it, because this world we live in even to some extent the online one, is so governed by surface that barely anyone sees beyond that.  Some part of me thinks I will remain the way I am until I meet someone who sees beyond, that somehow after that I will have found the magic key to my own abilities to help myself through this acceptance from another.  A bit part of me “feels” this statement is accurate because of who I am deep inside.

But I can hear all the others who would wish me a swift journey to change saying “Don’t wait, just do it”.  Then I fall back to feeling inadequate.  

I hate having to wear my physical issues like a disease.  Like when I meet someone I have to say “By the way I’m _____”, like a disclaimer.  I have to say it quickly too so that not too much gets invested if they’re shallow.  I hate this…


*****

Some small part of me on the flip side is afraid that I will meet someone who sees beyond surface, awakens my ability to help myself, and that when I do what I need and see the results, that I will in turn say goodbye and leave them...  It’s such a de-motivating thought and is primarily one of the reasons I don’t do anything.  It’s like if I do what I need to do, then I’m afraid I’ll meet someone who wouldn’t love me as I am right now, and hurt me.  And then if I do what I need to do after I meet someone I’ll want to be free and as such I’ll leave them and I don’t want to do that either…  Boy talk about thinking of too much lol.  

Its fear like this that started me on the journey toward even HAVING these issues.  I can remember when I was married, I was afraid I would wind up being the one unfaithful (not that I have *EVER* been unfaithful in any relationships, ever, but it was still a fear of mine) because I knew I was unhappy.  At that time, people were drawn to me… both male and female.  Literally, people would just come up to me and start talking.  I remember thinking, how can I be invisible…  So I did what I thought I had to, I took away what people initially saw and that (In my opinion) was my physical beauty.  It worked it seems, but now after the marriage and when I’m out there so to speak, I suffer from the very thing I did to protect my principles, and instead of protecting me now it’s killing me.

I have no positive words or thoughts on this, divulging of information.  I’m just telling it like it is.  And so I have, so here is sits.  Read if you will.

~S

Random Thought: Foggy Bunny Dreams! (What?! O_o)

Life is only as good as the connections and memories you make a long the way. You my friend make my life good. ~Dana Hasselbacher

This morning on your way to work (or when you first get up if on a weekend) say a prayer of thanks for those friends in your sacred heart. Send them love and light to guide their day.


Monday, yuck… Well let’s see I had a decent weekend, peppered by an adventure of being outside on Saturday! I had the BEST sushi ever with the BEST company ever, and lo and behold today I again pull one of her quotes! Thank you Dana for an awesome day full of good food, good soul food, and fun :)

I’m tired today. I stayed up too late last night. My own fault I know but it makes me tired today heh. I barely remember the drive to work I’m that tired. Ugh and Crony is in today. *sigh* Well at least she’s still on a high from the cruise she was just on. As for work, well I wish today was a holiday, for sure! Wishes are great aren’t they? Lol

I wrote two poems this weekend. A fairly light one and a REALLY dark one. Kind of shows the balance I struck this weekend with my emotions. The expression however, was good and served its purpose.

Its funny, I had forgotten that I could actually be in front of people and be not only accepted, but also funny ;) At the party this weekend, I had a very small glass of wine to loosen me up (God I can’t remember ever needing that lol) and after that it was great. When people asked how I knew the birthday girl, I told them I didn’t that I was just here for the food… and that Dana picked me up off the street and cleaned me up to bring me… (har har). Then in seriousness told them that Dana and I met through work and our boss made the mistake of putting us in the same office together :P Then when they asked if we were at the same boss I calmly told them “No, we killed him” and that got some hefty laughs. It was nice.

I’ve never had a problem interfacing with people generally. I can remember at things such as my sister’s funeral. I had left to go get some food (the wake was all day…) and when I came back with Rob and a few friends, the place was packed with people who had arrived in my absence. I remember telling my friends I was going to “work the room” and I did. To this day, people remember me for my poise, grace under intense emotion and ability to make each person feel welcome and comfortable despite the situation. I know this example is extreme but what better way to amplify a point.

The point is: It was nice to be in my element.

But now, today I’m just tired, and I don’t want to be at work. I really need to find a different job. I know this may sound crazy, but sometimes its just easier to take the easy road and stay here at this job because they’ll forgive my mistakes (even though they may be hard in other TRIVIAL areas *Cough* remember the creamer? *Cough*). They pay me fairly decent all things considered. But I do not have insurance and that is paramount, and I don’t have any kind of savings etc. That is secondary to insurance but equally important. I don’t want to be 65-70 and having to work at McDonalds to keep their selective hiring quota up because I have no savings put away to live on.

Plus, believe it or not… I’ve been thinking I really want a house again. I know… crazy. But I really do. Being at Birthday girls party this weekend made me really appreciate the flexibility in design that one can do to make their place their home. I’ve not had that ever. She had a condo and it was VERY nice. I could do a condo and be happy. But as much as I get paid here, I do not have savings in the bank and I do not make enough to get a home loan. So if I am going to do that, then I have to change jobs.

As for the second thing I pulled today, here is my prayer and please forgive me in advance if I miss anyone. Know that even if I don’t post your name here, your name is on my lips in my heart and perhaps spoken in private so that your sacred thoughts are kept safe with me (

Today I send a prayer of good intent out to all those I call friend. That whatever ails you may stop, and light may guide you. That whatever issue crops up today is manageable and tameable. That you may in some way at least once today find some small ray of light to make you smile. That in every way you know I’m thinking of you.

Specifially too I pray:
That Kami has a good day
That Cray keeps smiling
That Dana doesn’t get too crazy with packing, new baby, and household stuff
That Beth continues to keep her strength about her for her decision
That Shaun knows that even though he called me this weekend and I didn’t call him back, that I got his message, love him, and will talk to him soon… and that he doesn’t do “too much” today.
That Mr. Serenader has a fabulous day off (did I tell you I hate you for that? :P)
That Mr. Quiet Strength is able to sift through the things he receives and see clearly who he should talk to
That my mom understands why I didn’t want to go to the movies yesterday and loves me still for not calling her. That she knows in particular I love her and wish her a beautiful day.
That Mr. Uber doesn’t spend his whole day in bed today, and that he also realizes at least once today how much someone cares for him and in some measure finds a unique way to reciprocate that.
That those I do not speak to as much as I used to know that I wish them nothing but joy and peace.
That my future love knows I’m out there missing his presence and hoping for it soon in my life.
That Tony enjoys his day today.
That Alice has a day of peace and rest and not too full of worry for her parents, new child, family etc.
That Gaius knows I’m thinking of him and wishing him well.
And that all those that I didn’t mention specifically realize they’re in someone’s heart being loved today…


That’s my prayer for now. It is subject to change and deeper elaboration :P But for now suffice to say I’m thinking of all of you.

Have a beautiful day

XO~S

Friday the 13th and a SERENADE!

Always remember our poetry wars with a smile; you are a fun-loving, talented, beautiful woman. For fun, write a haiku about something that makes you laugh. ~Shaun

"We are each gifted in a unique and important way. It is our privilege and our adventure to discover our own special light." ~ Mary Dunbar


You know what Shaun? I do remember those poetry wars! I loved them. Here we are two friends in the sims online. Without the other knowing it, we had each created Sims in the snow capped covered city of Mt. Fuji. And there one day while I was alone in my home, Shaun came by and lo and behold The Poetry wars were born. While we painted portraits and landscapes, we spouted off haiku and poetry line by line in a war to see how long we could go.

I believe if I remember correctly that was when I discovered how to write haiku, though never in the traditional sense, but definitely following literary rule.

Haiku is one of the most important modes of Japanese poetry, a late 19th century revision by Masaoka Shiki of the older hokku (発句), the opening verse of a linked verse form, haikai no renga . A traditional hokku consists of a pattern of approximately 5, 7, and 5 morae, phonetic units which only partially correspond to the syllables of languages such as English. It also contains a special season word (the kigo) descriptive of the season in which it is set. Hokku often combine two (or rarely, three) different elements into a unified sensory impression, with a major grammatical break (kire) at the end of either the first five or second seven morae. These
rules are considered essential to haiku as well, though often broken by modern writers of "free-form haiku" and of non-Japanese haiku.

I’ve written haiku’s about ice cream, friendships, etc, but never using a season phrase. In any event those poetry wars were wonderful creative moments, and great friendship moments. Thanks for the memory of them today Shaun. And because I have promised to follow what is being told of me in these affirmations, here is my haiku for today

Today the sun shines
Dispelling the winter blue
Memory warms me

And for the other quote, its funny sometimes when I think of myself now, I think of a light shining from my heart that I allow all to see. You know we have this projected image of ourselves, and mine used to be a confident woman, looking how I wish to look, outgoing etc. I was most of that already though and so when I lost that with depression I had to find a better image to project. What better an image than warm, pure light? At lease that is my thought. I am still discovering my light…and I find lately, that I don’t mind the journey.

As for the beginning of the day, its Friday so I can’t really complain, but I have special thanks to give out to someone today for serenading me in my voice mail! Yes, you read right, I WAS SERENADED!!!! I’m still grinning over it as we speak. Don’t’ worry Mr. serenader (if you’re reading this), you did wonderfully and you elicited the desired effect. I’m all smiles now ( Thank you for starting my day off with something unique and fun and very good I might add.

I also have another person to thank. He’s been a quiet sort of strength in my friends online lately. Well for a long time, but recently I sense the bond deepens a bit and I know that when ANYONE lets you into their lives online or off, it is a special thing. So thank you my friend you know who you are, for letting me into that special place of your life. Being there has truly helped me in ways you can’t know…

Good luck Kamio!! Today she has her final and believe it or not it’s an interview she has to do! I spoke to her about it two days ago and I politely informed her that she was talking to the one and only interview QUEEN! I mean literally I think I’ve been on just about every type of interview possible lol. Before finding stability in my job, I had sooooo many jobs. I had to go on interviews at each one don’t ya know. So I hope the little coaching I did helped you hon. Good luck!

I hope Beth finds strength today to make her life what she wants, I hope Dana feels well today, I hope Kyle smiles a lot today, I hope my mother has a good day full of love, I hope Corwin does well as the jury foreman and decides to give a verdict of SUE THEM ALL!!!! (j/k :P). Lets see, I hope everyone that I don’t name directly here, has a wonderful day and can actually feel the love that I send them. And last but not least, I hope that today remains as bright for me throughout the day as it has started.

Heh, I just realized that today is Friday the 13th. ;) So I wish also for everyone to have the BEST OF LUCK in all you do today.

*hugs and kisses to you all*
~S

Quotes on Light...

"I will love the light for it shows me the way. Yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars..." ~ Og Mandino

"We are each gifted in a unique and important way. It is our privilege and our adventure to discover our own special light." ~ Mary Dunbar

"There are two ways of spreading light; to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it." ~Edith Wharton

"We cannot hold a torch to light another's path without brightening our own." ~Ben Sweetland

"One thing that comes out in myths is that at the bottom of the abyss comes the voice of salvation. The black moment is the moment when the real message of transformation is going to come. At the darkest moment comes the light." ~ Joseph Campbell

"Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I've learned that whatever state I may be in, therein to be content." ~ Helen Keller

"I am not bound to win; I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed, but I am bound to live up to the light I have." ~ Abraham Lincoln

"Favorite people, favorite places, favorite memories of the past. These are the joys of a lifetime; these are the things that last." ~ Henry Van Dyke

“You must be strong now. You must never give up. And when people make you cry and you are afraid of the dark, don't forget the light is always there.” ~Unknown

Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light, I have loved the stars too fondly To be fearful of the night”. ~ Sarah Williams

Just as treasures are uncovered from the earth, so virtue appears from good deeds, and wisdom appears from a pure and peaceful mind. To walk safely through the maze of human life, one needs the light of wisdom and the guidance of virtue.” ~ Hindu Prince Gautama Siddharta, the founder of Buddhism, 563-483 B.C.

People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.” ~ Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Perhaps it will seem to you that the sunshine is brighter and that everything has a new charm. At least, I believe this is always the result of a deep love, and it is a beautiful thing. And I believe people who think love prevents one from thinking clearly are wrong; for then one thinks very clearly and is more active than before. And love is something eternal--the aspect may change, but not the essence. There is the same difference in a person before and after he is in love as there is in an unlighted lamp and one that is burning. The lamp was there and it was a good lamp, but now it is shedding light too, and that is its real function. And love makes one calmer about many things, and in that way, one is more fit for one's work.” ~ Vincent van Gogh

All that and a BOX OF CHOCOLATES!

Tonight when you go to bed, take a moment and think of the fact that even if you did NOTHING positive for yourself today, you WILL do so tomorrow and in the past you HAVE done so already.  Focus on the positivity of that, and allow yourself a sense of accomplishment.

I am a radiant expression of the Goddess energy/Great Spirit/Christ within.
You are a child of love; you were created of love, born in love, and express that love. Allow yourself to feel that love.



Those were the two affirmations today (pulled two because they stuck together and I had already seen both of them so if I put one back it felt like I cheated :P)  I’m tired today, and we all know what happens when I’m tired.  So I’ll keep this post in check as best as possible.  

I have to say this:  BETH I LOVE YOU!!!!  You damn goofball!

My mother calls me two days ago and says I have a package at her house from the South Bend Chocolate company :P  So I go over there this morning on my way to work and pick them up.  Lo and behold I have received another package of Dark Chocolate Orange Truffles YUMMMMMMMM!!

The note was the funniest : “The avocados are sorry!”

She had for Christmas purchased a box of 10 avocados and had them shipped to me (yes, yes I love avocados :P).  Well unfortunately they happened to ship the day we had a blizzard here and they froze in shipping so they literally, went bad from the inside out.  I called my mother (My mother is the encyclopedia of being politically correct…sometimes :P) and asked her if I should even tell Beth.  I mean, it was a gift, but I don’t want Beth to be out that money, or to use their service again if they can’t properly ship product and waste more money.  But on the other hand I was extremely grateful for the thought even! So I didn’t want to seem like rude…  Anyway she said it wasn’t rude so I called Beth and told her.  In return I got more chocolates!  I need them today ;)  THANK YOU BETH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wrote a poem last night.  My first in a while.  I think it came out well.  It’s on allpoetry if you choose to read it.

Anyway… I’ll send more later

Buh bye ;)

Love's Truth

I’ve been looking around and working on this site www.43things.com and I really think I like it so far.  Check it out (I referenced it in an earlier post, but my username is: muse71 if you’re interested in reading it).  It’s a place to list your goals, see what others have for goals, share like goals, get support in achieving them, and share your experiences and help others once you’ve achieved them.  I have NO clue what I’m doing, lol but I’m being spontaneous and open.  

So I have 6 things I want to do now.  I forget what all they are, something about drinking more water, make others happy, find love, and something else.  I’ve also done two things, continued to write poetry and built my own webpage (several actually, I do this on the side too ;)

But in my reading at lunchtime of other peoples goals, I was cheering some folks on and came across this post on “finding love”.  Someone else is doing the goal I’m doing, and they posted their story.  This post I’ve copied and pasted for you is someone’s response to the original poster and DAMN it is SO true.  I replied as well and have printed this for my own remembering for my future relationship (and yes, today I have hope that perhaps I will have another long term relationship someday… today anyway  ;)

Here you go:

On: Fall in real love: ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't live without each other love.
Real love, yes...  — 1 week ago
...ridiculous, no. Inconvenient, yes—at the time I thought so. Consuming, sometimes; at times, though, you get caught up in the small stuff of life and take each other for granted for a while. That’s why love takes effort. It takes effort to remember, to remind, to demonstrate, to give, to forgive, to allow for imperfection and encourage and keep on loving.
I read back through all the posts before I wrote this, to see if anyone else had said what I think needs to be said here. one person hinted at it, and that was all.
I’ve been married for nearly 19 years, which is a pretty long time. His folks have been married for over 35 years; mine for nearly 50. His paternal grandparents both died a couple of years ago, still married after more than 55 years. His paternal grandfather is still living; he lost his wife a couple of years ago, also, and misses her every day after more than 55 years. My paternal grandparents were married at age 12 and 17 (this was a long time ago, kids, and even they wouldn’t recommend being so young); they stayed married until Grandpa died in the mid-70s, and their love has lived on beyond him. My maternal grandparents also had a long marriage that lasted until Grandpa’s death.
So I maybe know something about real love, love that lasts. It’s not a lightning bolt. It’s more like a spark that you blow on, work on, and keep on feeding. There’s a fire, sure, but it’ll go out if you just lie in front of it daydreaming about how in love you are.
Sometimes we imagine we’d do anything for love—we’d run through that airport and grab him before he got away, we’d stand up to our disapproving families or move across the country. We cheer movies where someone gives up a great career for a better love, or humbly promises to be a better man if she’ll just take him back.
The tricky thing to do for love is to accept that he’ll always be a stricter parent, that he’ll never remember birthdays, that she’s terminally distracted, that she’s got a crazy mother who she loves. Being a good parenting partner (YOU, not your partner), cheerfully helping him not feel like an idiot on your birthday, keeping track of things for her, loving her mother. Putting your marriage first and everything else second, even the little things, the obvious things, the “how can he not SEE this” kinds of things. Those are the hard things people do for love.
We’ve got four kids and I’m 70 pounds heavier than when he married me. He’s not perfect, either. We’ve had a handful of real arguments; we’ve both swallowed our anger for each other’s sake at times; we’ve put each other first and sometimes second and had to rethink and recommit. We’ve let go of being right in order to be happy, sometimes, both of us.
It’s worth everything. It’s worth EVERYTHING we’ve each given up.
I know I could live without him, because in the next room as I write this is his brother’s widow. She’s just my age (39) and she’s surviving, partly because he and his brothers remember her and take care of her, call the boys to talk to them, stuff like that.
But I wouldn’t want to live without him for a minute.
A long time ago he told me that one of his favorite stories was about a man we both admire, who sat next to his elderly wife on an airplane and asked her, “Dear, what do you think we’ll be doing in 82 million years?” His wife laughed and rolled her eyes, gave him a fond pat, said, “Oh, honey,” in an indulgent tone of voice. And they held hands.

Inspiration

Uh oh I’ve been inspired to write another letter (maybe).  Sometimes when I think of these “letters” and look at them, I think “What crap” lol.  And other times, I wonder “Does anyone even get anything from these? Do they “Feel” anything when reading them?”.  And still sometimes, though rarely this, anymore I think “These are wonderful testaments to the beauty of love.  The fabric of love that weaves itself into our hearts if we let it.”

Regardless of those thoughts, if I’m inspired, I’ve vowed I would never again shut my creativity off for anyone or anything…so if inspired, I must write.  

Want a hint of what this letter may be about? (I say may, because it can change based on when I write it etc).  I think this love will be about loving someone who doesn’t know you exist, but knowing that if you had the chance, to be a part even a small part, of their lives, you would make every effort you could to share in their life.

I didn’t pull a quote yesterday, so I pulled two today.

"People come into our lives for a reason bringing something we must learn And we are led To those who help us most to grow If we let them And we help them in return… because I knew you, I have been changed for good" -Wicked (~given by Shaun)

"You are the way you are because that is what you believe about yourself" ~Don Miguel Ruiz - "the Mastery of Love"

The first one makes me smile.  Thank you Shaun for that lovely comment.  The second one, when I think of all the depression and such that I’ve been through is just like “Ouch” lol, but I don’t doubt the validity of the statement at all.  

I’ve read Don Miguel Ruiz’s “The Four Agreements”, AND his “Mastery of Love” and I have to say that they are both very well written works with great insight into how we should be.  

More later if I can… For now *hugs* to all of you who read this.  

XO
~S

Irritate v.; Etymology: Latin irritatus; to provoke impatience, anger, or displeasure in : ANNOY

You know what irritates me?  Incompetence. For example in the great telecommunications land, the phone Giant who shall be unnamed *Cough*SBC*Cough*, is full of this.  Take for example this reject I received on an order I submitted to them.  First before I break it down, let me say I am at fault here.  I realize I made a  mistake, but since when should that impede an order when the orderwriter has the right information in front of them.  

I sent an order over to change where an 800# rings to.  It’s supposed to go to some number like 773-267-2667.  I typo’d and put lets say: 773-276-2776.  Now I realize that’s my fault.  But I referenced an order number that I did putting this 773 number in.  I told them Point to (above listed number) see order number Nxxxxxxxx for details.  She could have pulled the order up and saw the billing number.  Instead she rejects my order which goes against our AD record.  We have to have a 95% perfection rate on these orders.  Every time we get a reject of ANY kind we get dinged.  The order writers however, suffer NOTHING when they totally botch up an order.  Its ridiculous!  So she rejects this order and I can’t just call her and say “Oops I made a simple error”, I have to send her an email or she will completely reject the order so that I have to resubmit it.  A process, which takes at least two days to get this order assigned again.  This type of order takes 1 DAY to provision, but with waiting for assignment, rejections (if any), etc this process to change where a number rings to takes a FULL WEEK.  So stupid!

I feel mildly better.

I kid you not when I say these affirmations are working.  How might you ask? Since I just foamed at the mouth? Lol  Well Anger is a part of life, that wont go away no matter how much I want it to.  Affirmations just help me laugh a bit more or breathe a bit better.  BUT all that aside, I noticed today that because I hadn’t pulled one I’m a bit on edge.  Maybe it’s just me, or the fact that I didn’t wake up until 6:15am when I’m supposed to be LEAVING that did it.  But I’ve been irritable this morning and things that are none of my business, or things that don’t normally affect me have me all irritable.  I’ll have to change that.  

Anyway off for now Ta Ta!

~S

TGIF!!! and thank god for Caffeine!

It is not how much you do, but how much Love you put into the doing that matters. ~Mother Theresa
Reflect on your actions today.  Did you fill them with love? If not, be mindful of this going forward.  If yes, give yourself a hug.



This was the affirmation I pulled today.  I’m a little awake today so I feel as if I’m really trying to do this.  I even had a conversation with Crony today!  Course that could be considered a random act of kindness.  Or just temporary insanity :P

In any event, I will try  to do this all day today and make it part of everyday.

Things might be looking up for me financially shhh!  *laughs * By looking up I mean that this month for the first time in a long time I’m not operating in the red.  I wont have much money left over but I’ll have a LITTLE bit.  Enough to put in the house for gas if I need it etc.  Looking at my projected plan though, I’m still on track to have my two credit cards and one of my two medical bills completely paid off when I’m ready to move.  Now the only problem is where to move.

Honestly, I’m truly hoping that psycho man gets kicked.  Why you ask, would I want to stay there?  Well for one the people in my building have been there for a minimum of 8 years and they’re all super nice.  With the obvious exception of psycho dude.  Anyway, short of HIM, there is no problem with the apartment save for the landlords being really slow to fix crap.  Even then, the things that have broken weren’t critical.  Even when the main bathroom had issues, I still have a second one.  Is it optimum living? No.  But it’s a place I’ve been for almost two years, I don’t want to pack up and move, deal with the expense, finding a new place, getting settled.  What is the trade off you know?  

That said however, if psycho dude doesn’t leave, I will HAVE to leave.  He broke the door off his apartment.  Literally.  No I’m not kidding.  It’s broken off and he has it propped in the doorway.  The smoke smell is intensified because of this and truly this week I had some cravings again.  That sucks.  His friends are constantly coming over and shouting at him through the door (I mean hello!?  The door is BROEKN, just go in and stop shouting stupid!) And I hate when they buzz me to get in (No, I don’t let them in) but I sit in silence more often than not because I do fear repercussion if they know I’m home and I didn’t give them entrance.  This is the part of where I live that sucks.  Remove this, and all else is tolerable and even acceptable in avoidance of cost, inconvenience, etc.

Beyond that I slept only 5 hours last night… Didn’t meet my resolution :(, but the bit that I did sleep was well slept.  I feel more rested today almost as rested as I was yesterday.  

I need more days like yesterday.  I was motivated, happy, and generally felt I could succeed at anything.  Today is like that too but tempered without the benefit of the caffeine rush that two gigantic lattes all day long will add. :P  

Did I mention I even talked to Crony!?  Yea…scary.  Course she IS going on vacation for a whole week YAHOO!!!!  So maybe my happiness is just her removal from my work for a week :P

So while I’m in such a good mood I have a few good things to say.  Yes, it’s me you’re talking to :P (smart alecs)

1. Thank you to all those who submitted affirmations to me, about me, and things that I should/could focus on to remember that I am loved and special and all that.  I was surprised at the positive reception I received to this.   It has helped me in the two days that I’ve been doing this (and today I started officially after having compiled 12 pages of affirmations! :-O) to read some positive comments from folks contributing.  Thank you.  Feel free to keep sending them, the list can only get better by continually growing.  


2. I’ve been pondering the idea of perhaps starting a group in my local community (perhaps even the above mentioned neighbors and some friends…minus psycho dude of course) to do some random acts of kindness or share happy things with each other.  Pondering, because I have a propensity for starting projects that have the greatest intentions but then because of depression/mood swings/etc never finishing them…  What do you guys think?

By the way totally a side note, I saw this quote in an email from a representative I was working with on a customers account in my job.  While I have a slight disdain for SBC, I still could separate myself from that to respect the forward thinking and positive that this quote brings about:

"I believe in the future, wire will unite the head offices of telephone
companies in different cities and a man in another part of the country
may communicate by word of mouth with another in a distant place".
~  Alexander Graham Bell, 1876

Love the quotes of inspiration, aspiration, and dreams.  Love to look back and see them a reality even if they aren’t perfect as the dreamer wished.  It seems it’s that way for most everyone.

I almost felt a glimmer to write a story.  I’ve been involved in a story that was generated from the last Love Letter (chapter 20; The Masquerade Lingers).  Someone wrote me a story paralleling my own.  So now this love letter as it were, has evolved into a writing project of two folks writing this side story.  How neat is that?  I was reading the story sent to me again today and I felt a little desire to write the piece, but no more than a little.  It seems my muse is being rather quiet these days.  Maybe it’s just because of the overwhelming rush of positivity I’ve been immersed in lately.  Hopefully…  I do have a rather good story to write back in mind, but I just can’t seem to pen it down.

I hope it’s just something simple (as to why I can’t write) and not that I don’t feel love in my life.  Love for me in word is easy to say, express and even sometimes through words…feel.  But LOVE as it were to apply to me, the kind of use of the word LOVE that implies relationship and permanence, to me is ONLY had in the real world.  This is a realization that might have been obvious to a few, but only struck me recently as a truth for me.  You can tell me you love me, and I’ll believe you.  I may even agree with you and reciprocate that type of love back to you.  But to get the love that is a permanent type of partner like love, you MUST be a real life existence for me.   As much as I believe in the mystical, believe in faith, miracles, and dreams, in this arena, it MUST be something I can see, touch, etc.

This doesn’t go for my friends, just for those who would wish to be a partner with me, and on my behalf, it goes for my dream partner.  For my friends, it’s the same type of philosophy, but slightly different in that, as long as you’re in my real life by means other than just IM, I can and DO have deep love for you.  Friends not born of my online experiences get the gold package of my friendship ;)  

I was speaking with someone yesterday when I realized that on days like yesterday, I am glimpsing the person I was before depression.  The person that didn’t care what people thought, was happy, could conquer the world, and almost always did what she wanted.  If that person becomes a more consistent visitor, then I fear for my time online.  When I feel like that “person” I am more energetic, more driven, more creative, and less desiring to just sit around on the computer.  If that “person” returns to my existence permanently, then my time online will be compromised.  And that means the things I’ve done while they’ll continue will be in a modified form.  Memories will be more prominent, and time spent in game will be less.  I’m not ready for this yet.  I think that’s where I’m at right now; somewhere in between these two,

Course all of this could be a pile of shit too: P  (Caffeine induced ramblings by a too awake mind :P)

Wow, I started this at 8am and its 10am lol.  Maybe I’ll just close this now and leave well enough alone.  

*hugs to all *

XO ~S

  

Thursday's Child was a.... MUSE!

Yesterday’s entry was 90% tired and not feeling well, 5% bored at work and 5% truth. Therefore, it was scrapped...well not scrapped but placed in a private blog where only my darkest thoughts go… :P (it’s a scary place trust me)

So today I’m back on the trail of finding things to make me feel loved and in turn help me to love others more… And I came across this list below. I also came across this site. http://www.43things.com/. Check it out. I have no idea if it’s horrible or something really cool and good, but I registered and intend to find out (username: Muse71). If it turns out to be like a myspace.com thing I’ll be really disappointed because it seems to be nice. Thoughts on this site are welcome :)

So today is a glorious day. There are a few reasons this is so. I’m all too happy to list them so without further adieu, here they are:
1. Crony is not in today (I’ve had two back to back days with her presence and it’s enough to kill me)
2. Sharon wont be in today either (working from home *cough*bullshit*cough*, but then traveling to Schererville)
3. I’ve been able to work on my affirmations this morning starting with the first one I pulled today which was a quote to take 5 minutes and do something that makes me happy. (And so I am… :-) )
4. I got STARBUCKS this morning! A rare treat nowadays, but a treat that is savoredand the sole reason I might add that I'm awake!
5. I slept more than 1 hour last night! WOOOHOO. This is a WONDERFUL thing! :D
6. I held my concert in my personal concert hall this morning and I gave an outstanding performance *deep bow*(For those of you that don’t know of my concert hall it’s my car, and the road is my audience...an they NEVER complain :P)

So now I have to do the one hour worth of work that I have and then perhaps I’ll be back as I do more “research” on affirmations and ways to make myself and others happy with words and actions. :D

Here’s a little food for thought for you all:


100 Ways to Be Happy and Feel Good...Plus the ancient muse secret for the 101th way!
1. Never put yourself last.
2. When you extend a helping hand to one person, be careful not tokick someone else in the teeth.
3. Always own a pair of old, faded jeans.
4. Count your blessings every day.
5. Acknowledge your successes along with your downfalls.
6. Burn the candle that has been in storage for the last two years.
7. Strive for progress, not perfection.
8. Remember, the voice telling you that you cannot do something isalways lying.
9. At least once a day sit and do nothing.
10. Don't close your heart so tightly against life's pain that you shut out life's blessings.
11. Celebrate all your birthdays no matter how old you get.
12. Examine your life for limitations and ask yourself why you put them there.
13. Plant a tree, pull weeds, or get your hands dirty.
14. Diminish your wants instead of increasing your needs.
15. Cry when you feel like it.
16. Rejoice in other people's triumphs.
17. Don't wait for someone else to laugh or express joy.
18. Forgive yourself for any mistake you make, no matter how big or small.
19. Keep good company.
20. Never take a pill for a pain you need to feel.
21. Use your enthusiasm to put yourself in forward gear and giveyourself a spark to move ahead.
22. Look in the eyes of the ones you love when you are talking to them.
23. Remember that one is a whole number.
24. Walk in a rain shower without an umbrella.
25. Do a kind deed for someone else.
26. Keep your eyes and ears open to get the messages you need from people and events in your daily life.
27. Be patient.
28. Eat something green.
29. Change what you can and leave the rest alone.
30. Walk hand and hand with truth.
31. Make laughter and joy a greater part of your life than anger and grief.
32. Embrace solitude instead of running from it.
33. Be zealous, not jealous.
34. Forgive anyone you've been holding a grudge against.
35. Slow down and enjoy the present.
36. Walk in others' shoes before judging them.
37. Send yourself a kind message.
38. Remind yourself that the company you keep is a reflection ofwhat you think of yourself.
39. Go on a picnic.
40. Accept your fears, no matter how crazy they seem.
41. Don't let other people's opinions shape who you are.
42. Say a prayer.
43. Never attribute your accomplishments to luck or chance.
44. Know when to say no.
45. Look at the positive side of negative situations.
46. Remember that you are a spiritual being in a physical body.
47. Avoid seeking out other people for constant approval, because it makes them the master and you the slave.
48. Go fly a kite.
49. Watch South Park or The Simpsons or Seinfeld.
50. Accept the things you cannot change.
51. Look inside instead of outside yourself for answers to life's problems.
52. Remember that all feelings are okay.
53. Shield yourself from bad influences.
54. Stand up for what you believe in.
55. Respect the wishes of others when they say no.
56. Seize every moment and live it fully.
57. Give away or sell anything you haven't used in the past five years.
58. Never downgrade yourself.
59. Take responsibility for what you think, feel, and do.
60. Pamper yourself.
61. Never say or do anything abusive to a child.
62. Eat spicy food before going to bed.
63. Volunteer to help someone in need.
64. Refrain from overindulging in drink, work, and relationships.
65. Finish unfinished business.
66. Be spontaneous.
67. Find a constructive outlet for your anger.
68. Think about abundance instead of lack, because whatever youthink about expands.
69. Think of yourself as a survivor, not a victim.
70. Cuddle an animal.
71. Be open to life.
72. See success as something you already have, not something you must attain.
73. Experience the splendor and awe of a sunset.
74. When you score a base hit, don't wish it were a home run.
75. Learn to be in the present moment.
76. Instead of believing in miracles, depend on them.
77. Take a child to the circus.
78. Change your attitude and your whole life will change.
79. Never turn your power over to another person.
80. When your heart is at odds with your head, follow your heart.
81. Always remember that the past is gone forever and the futurenever comes.
82. Live your life according to what is right for you.
83. Acknowledge your imperfections.
84. Plant a tree and watch it grow.
85. See "friend" instead of "enemy" on the face of strangers.
86. Watch an army of ants build their houses and cities and carry food ten times their weight.
87. Believe in something bigger than yourself.
88. Let the playful child within you come out.
89. Make haste slowly.
90. Work through your problems step by step and one day at a time.
91. Success is a journey, not a destination.
92. Sit on the lawn without worrying about grass stains.
93. Don't condemn yourself for your imperfections.
94. Do a humility check periodically by loving the truth about yourself.
95. Tell someone you appreciate them.
96. Never live your life according to what is right for someone else.
97. Admit your wrongdoing and forgive yourself for it.
98. Thrive on inner peace instead of on crises.
99. Affirm all the good things about yourself.
100. Talk less and listen more.

And the extra 101th way to be happy
101.KNOW I LOVE YOU IN SOME WAY, SOMEHOW, I HAVE LOVE FOR YOU…

*hug*