Wednesday - midweek and i'm STILL tired lol

So I went to bed at a reasonabletime last night. It was 1:30am. That's reasonable for me trust me. The past two years have been spent on evenings with abou 4-5 hours sleep MAYBE. The past few days, Mondya night alone I got 8 hours sleep in a night. It is a very strange feeling to be awake before my alarm. Anyway, I went to bed later last night than the past few nights, but I still slept ok. I did wake up at 6:30am though, thinking it was 8:30 and I missed my alarm. I was so convinced of it, that I actually got out of bed to go to my computer and check the time lol. So now it's 8:10am and I'm at my desk in the office. All I want is to go home and be online or go home and be in someone's arms until I'm reassured that it's ok to get up. lol I'm such a sap. But it's the truth. I've missed touch. Simple touch, a hug, a caress on an arm as someone walks by. The last time I had any touch like that was just far too long ago. I dont think being with another person completes me, but I know that without the intimacy of a hug or a simple touch in my life and NOT just from my mom or friends, without that... I'm dying. Slowly but surely. I've ALWAYS been a touchy type person and when I wasn't hiding from people I was quite popular, always out, always surrounded by people. I never wanted for that touch because I always got it. Now... Just over a year after the Official divorce date, (which means nothing, touch in any matter stopped 4 years before the divorce) and 4 months of being on my own I find I miss it more and more. My mom does it... she's gone her whole life without a person in her life like that. Do you eventually resign yourself to being alone? On the one hand I want to be there so I dont ache when I think of a hug, but on the other hand I dont EVER want to think that... It doesn't matter what's happened in my life, or what I look like now as a result of bad decisions. What matters is that I am a sensual, spiritual woman. I am a beautiful soul and I have so much to offer the one person that can see the outgoing girl that I was hiding in this shell of who I am and bring her forth.

*stops writing and reads her post* hmmm do I publish this? It's way personal....


Random poetry comin atcha

i woke up, your name on my lips
who was it I said?
I know not but the tone
its warmth resounding
awakening my senses
that single word spoken
in soft utterance, a gasp
you who stole my heart
stole my breath leaving me wanting
missing
longing...
©SKW