2005 in Review; 2006 Going Forward

So it’s the end of the year; and the start of a new one. I have been thinking about what to write for about two days now. I wanted to write some philosophical work of art, something that would you leave you all going… “Wow”. But unfortunately I lack the creativity and brainpower for that.

Then I thought, I know, I’ll write about MY year… and I realized I’ve been blogging since November 2004 so you all already KNOW what my year was like. Besides, even if you’re new to reading this blog you know that most of it focuses on love (or my lack thereof), how my job sucks, and health issues. Occasionally I pepper it with some light, but mainly it’s a salty dish of rants and ravings.

Then I though maybe I’ll just write some incredibly cool poem, or quote some really nifty verse or something from somewhere and offer some bits of wisdom…but there are plenty of sites that offer that already.

So what I’m left with in the end, is the proverbial white piece of paper. Funny enough when I stared at it long enough I began to think, how odd that this should resemble where my life is. Empty. I don’t mean that in a dark depressed sort of way, but my life is lacking. Funnier still is that I seem to be the reason it is so.

In the twelve steps of any rehabilitation program the first step is recognition. I seem to be stuck there. Knowing I need to make a change, deciphering from the cryptic thoughts of life what the change is I need to do, and actually acting on them are entirely different things.

Maybe I just need to grow up. Maybe I just need to refocus. Maybe… But I need to do something. The things that made me happy once, make me happy now, only some of the time.

The New Year brings about a time when people feel they will resolve to do something good in their lives. I’ve not fallen into that trap before because I just didn’t feel a need. This year, while the need has presented itself I step back because I don’t want to bite off more than I can chew. So I’ll start small. So in the end what I’ve decided to blog as my year end for you all is a list of my resolutions. I hope you’re not disappointed, the list is small. But the quality of the list I think, is good…They are followed up by my aspirations, things I hope to achieve this year, but will not be depressed and sad if I do not achieve them (as long as I’m on my way toward them).

Resolutions
~I resolve to read once every other month, a book that is good for my soul. I can be any book on love, awakenings, enlightenment, weight loss, emotional stability, etc. ANYTHING that is good for the soul. I allow myself ONE faltering in this resolution, meaning I can skip only once.
~I resolve to sleep a MINIMUM of 6 hours a day, even if it’s during the day on the weekend.
~I resolve to reincorporate spirituality into my life in baby steps. It can be something small, perhaps a simple morning meditation or a single tarot card daily, etc.
~I resolve to not let people into the sacred spot in my heart where most people who would cause me harm have found themselves. I resolve to strengthen my wall of light around my inner realms to help make this resolution happen.
~I resolve to incorporate love into my life, starting with love of self. Tiny affirmations I’m writing to be put in a jar and chosen ever day, that will tell me all about me and how I should love myself every day.
~I resolve to be open with myself and add to this list as I feel the need helping me to keep on track where I may step and falter so that I do not fail in the above mentioned items.


Aspirations
~I aspire to be going to some form of spiritual community with some regularity. This can be alone if nothing suitable for group is found
~I aspire to write even just two sentences a day of light. These can be added onto my poems of dark or as an afterthought.
~I aspire to use the above mentioned resolutions to further the physical things I need to do for myself such as lose weight and eat healthy.
~I aspire to sleep a full 8 hours a day and be well rested for my health and sanity


Let’s hope that this helps me help myself to be happier and more effective in helping others offline and online…that which I LOVE to do.

To all of you reading this…
XO