Monday, December 25, 2006

A Christmas Day Sunrise

6:38am The world is fast asleep and it's so dark out, all I can get is the streetlamp outside my house.


Soon the nighttime light filters in gently allowing me to show the world asleep and peaceful on this Christmas day

As the world slowly wakes up, fog blankets everything turning my colors to red.

Daylight approaches bringing with it soft hues of purple & blue, even through the fog.
Lighter still, I sit in quiet contemplation of a Christmas full of color... & no snow.


The first traffic I've seen this morning, eager to get to where they're going sits patiently. I hope they see the sunrise as I see it. It is peaceful and lovely.


And this the last shot, even through the fog the day has been awaken, the morning heralded not by noise but by a quiet Christmas peace.

~*~*~*~*~*~

"Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind."~Calvin Coolidge

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."~Bobby (age 7)

“There is a fundamental difference between feeling lonely and being alone. To be alone is literally to be all one--to experience the Oneness of all things. Lonely is an emotional state that can often be transcended by reaching beyond ourselves in loving service to others.”~Ric Beattie

~*~*~*~*~*~

This morning I was given a gift of sunrise. I woke up bleary eyed and stumbled about my house for a bit as only someone with too little sleep can do. I decided purely on the chance of sitting outside in quiet, to sit and watch the sunrise. What I didn't know was that a world of cloaked beauty awaited me.

Some people do not like fog. I do. To me it's almost magical in that it makes everything look fragile, hidden, and beautiful. Sitting there with only the rabbits outside my apartment (lovingly nicknamed: George, Gracie, Cousin Flo, and Bob) I tried really hard to feel surprising enlightenment come upon me. They say seeing a sunrise can bring so many thoughts & awarenesses to mind.

This morning I had no enlightenment, just a sort of peace that blanketed me. It began to make me thinking of my year end review post and a bit like the movie "Bridgete Jones Diary", I began to compose.

1. No partner in my life

2. Cancer

3, Survival of said cancer

I dont list these things with any upset, just calmly I heard these three things recited in my mind. There are so many other things that will fall into that list, but this morning I remembered with perfect clarity how I felt last night when I realized that empty space in my heart & womb was still... well, empty.

One of the things I love about myself is that when I get terribly sad or feel the threat of depression looming, I begin to think of others. It's the only way I know how to remove the grips of darkness no matter how lightly they may grip me. So last night I called people. I wished people a Merry Christmas and offered hope that their evening was full of warmth and love as the holiday should bring. Surprisingly to me, I actually felt these feelings raidate outward from my heart with the very first call, and speed on their way to those I spoke to. It made me feel good to feel that warmth and to give it to others. And so the cycle of sadness I find myself gripped with when I have myopic vision was dispelled.

When I finished my calls last night, I thought of all the people who have touched my lives in any way and sent a prayer to them as well for peace and love. Then surprisingly, I went straight to bed. When I awoke this morning, I was given the gift of a beautiful morning, exactly as I like to see it. I like to think that this was some sort of gift back to me. A gift to everyone really, which is why I've shared the images with you.

To those I didn't call last night, you were on my heart regardless of being on my phone. To those I DID call, know that with all the ache I felt in my heart I wanted nothing more than to tell you that the best gift of all everyday, let alone this holiday for me, is you. Because you brought me back to my center just by being you. I will toast to you all today, hoping that today is just as special as the next for you, because you deserve it.

You are a blessing to me everyday.

Have a Merry Christmas.

xoxo

Muse

*Today's Daily inspiration is wonderful for the season. Check it out here; Sparkling Stillness*

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Merry Christmas, Cal. (:

Those are beautiful pictures. It was 80 degrees here today, no sign of cold.

I miss you!
<3

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing your Christmas spirit. Once again you inspire me to be a better person.

Love to you Muse -
Jules

Suzie Ridler said...

Merry Christmas to you Lady M. A quiet Christmas can be a beautiful Christmas and I also adore fog. You are the hero of your journey and have been through a lot in 2006. May your life be blessed with much love and good health in 2007.

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In my acquired wisdom I've accepted: 1. That it's OK to admit I like girly things 2. That it's OK I didn't post this ON...