The world sleeps
The show begins...
The Final Shot before I froze my buns off enough to go back inside ;) Hope you enjoyed the pics!
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Good Morning, Good People! Peace and all Good! ~Saint Francis of Assisi (1181-1226), Two Greetings (circa 1220)
If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~ Mother Teresa
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I go back to work today for the first time after not being there for nearly two months. I know I do not want to go back to this job. Do not think me lazy, it’s not that I do not want to work at all, but that I do not want to go back to THIS job. There are a few reasons, but the biggest one is that I do not have any type of insurance there, and I NEED insurance.
It’s weird to think about going back there. I remember my old routine. I would go in at 7am, open up, do a blog post, start the morning and usually around 7:30 or 8am Crony would be in followed by the rest of the hens. I am part time right now so when I go in potentially everyone may already be in. How do I field questions? When they ask how I am do I do as my mother says and say fine? Even if I may feel sick? Then there is the obvious fear, What if I DO get sick? At home it’s easy, lay down call the doc when I get up or just before I lay down. Now being at work it wont be so easy.
The thing I think I’m dreading the most aside from Crony’s penetrating questions and set ideas that my recovery is taking too long) is the change of priorities. I’ll be in the office and subject to the priorities of the business (that’s called work right?) and I do not want to do that. I do not feel at all aligned with the priorities of the business.
Hopefully that will change soon in the form of a new job but I do not know.
Its like 3 months have been removed from my life. Like a side journey you know? I know it sounds trivial but it to me seems like “Ok, I got cancer, then I have cancer, then the cancer is gone” and now I’m right back where I was before. I still suffer the same perils of job searching as before. Potential employers do not know I’ve had cancer (nor would they). All they’ll see is a large woman with some skills in front of them. Hopefully the skills are enough.
I have decided I wont be going back full time at my current employer again. I’m hoping that even if I do not need to be medically taken care of twice a day, that I can use that morning time to interview. Shady I know, but when else will I do it? It’s not like I can call off a day or a half day?
I treated getting to this day the same way I treated getting to the surgery. Like it was a death of sorts. Isn’t that funny? To know that I think working (maybe just for this employer not generally working) seems like the end of being able to be in the place I want to be in.
Anyway, I return to work today. The Daily Inspiration (found at http://digitalsoup.blogspot.com/) speaks of starting your day right. I’ve gotten up two hours earlier than I need to be and soon will be bundling up to step outside and see the sunrise. I’ve never done that. Given all these fears I have swirling in my head, it seems only fitting that the first task I undertake today is one of peace. Maybe then it will set the tone for the rest of the day, or perhaps change my mindset. Either way its bound to be pretty.
**Update: Pics are up top ;)**
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DAILY INSPIRATION
This section has moved to http://digitalsouponline.blogspot.com/, Check it out!
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WELL WISHES
Start your day off right today. I wish for you to see a beautiful sunrise, feel the warmth of your covers an extra moment longer, or find the centered place of peace through meditation. May your extra moments this morning give you the peace you need to weave in and out of the things you need to do today with ease.
You are a blessing to me everyday.
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AND REMEMBER
True peace with oneself and with the world around us can only be achieved through the development of mental peace. ~ H.H. Dalai Lama XIV (born 1935), Nobel Lectures, (1989)
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