Thanks to Jules for the above post that I reference in my title. I have to admit, her earlier post Why I Love the holidays Part 2A - Christmas Song, was wonderful. It was simple, poignant, and truthful. The music in it is also very nice. Give it a read, share some love, make someone happy :)
Thanks Jules!
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I sit here tonight with a fever. It's somewhere near 100 (I only have one of those really old thermometers and I can't read it that well :P). I talked to the Doctor's nurse on the 12th and she told me if I have a fever I'm to call immediately. So tomorrow morning if I wake with it, I will be calling Loyola and likely visiting them tomorrow instead of being at work... *sigh*
I just want this to be over. I've had enough of the medical whatever, the infection, the blah blah blah. I've lost approximately 20 pounds since the surgery (after all is said and done) and my energy is through the roof. I find that I want to be moving, out and about, doing SOMETHING, ANYTHING.
I have lived in seclusion for about 3 years or so. Some by choice, some for the last year or so not so by choice (when I started to notice major problems with my body etc). So now, I have no social structure save for a very few close firends nearby. It's weird though, I have all this energy but being out in a group of new people scares me. I have NEVER been like that. Before all the depression set in from my marriage and whatever else, I was always out. I think perhaps I'm returning to that person?
We shall see what I do with all this energy, as soon as I finish this slow healing. I just relaly at this hour at night when sitting alone with my thoughts and Dave Matthews in the background whispering to me, want to get past this illness.
For now, that's all I have tonight. I'll try to post tomorrow unless the doctor's visit doesn't go too well. I hope you all have a wonderful evening. Let the night embrace you and the stars shine lighting the way to the dreams of your heart.
Much love to you all,
Muse
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
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In my acquired wisdom I've accepted: 1. That it's OK to admit I like girly things 2. That it's OK I didn't post this ON...
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In my acquired wisdom I've accepted: 1. That it's OK to admit I like girly things 2. That it's OK I didn't post this ON... -
First I must apologize; to those folks I had hoped to see this week, I am sorry that for whatever reason; be it small or large, that I was u...
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To my unborn little girl: My dearest child, I wonder at this very moment what you will be. Will you be a little boy full of dreams and hope...
2 comments:
I hope the fever comes down and you recover soon. I can so relate to this post! When I had my surgery last year I had just spent 3 months on a suburban mountain and had no friends to help. My sister had to fly in from Ontario while my husband was in basic training. When we moved and actually had people to hang out with, my social anxiety was awful! The good news is if you keep at it, it will start to feel normal to hang out with new people again. Hang in there Muse! You're doing amazing.
Big *HUGS* to you. Everything will come in time.
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