Rough Morning - *PURE RANT; Read at your own risk*

I'm sick to death of being sick. I'm angry at how sick I am. I'mtired of answering the "How are you?" question with, a litany of ailments. And no matter if I do not complain, it doesn't go away. I'm very angry right now.

I've had fevers since 12-8. They've been anywhere from 100 even to as high as 101.8. I've been to the doctor who has looked at my incision (which is healing), and said that there doesn't seem to be anything wrong with the incision. I was diagnosed with a viral infection. I returned home, slept and woke up coughing and sneezing. AHA! Mystery solved, I have a cold. Friday last week I was off work AGAIN recuperating. This weekend I did go out but I was careful.

Then I get a call yesterday from the doctor. One of the final tests they made me take came back and showed that I have a colony of strep bacteria of something like that. I'm to be on antibiotics immediately.

Strep??? My god?! Ok so I realize it's not the end all of things I oculd go through right now, but it's certainly not a good thing!

Then I talk to the nurse this morning who informs me as humbly as possible (because she is well versed on my situation financially) that I absolutely without question MUST get a CT scan now. Despite the diagnosis of strep bacteria in my body (no I'm not contagious, I asked this morning), something is STILL wrong.

They think that there is a packet of infection under my healed scar. IF i have a CT scan and if they find a packet, it must be drained. Thankfully it's an outpatient procedure, but (and I dont know all the details yet) I will need MORE time off. I'll need at least one day for the blood workup and the CT scan, and I'll need at least one day for this outpatient procedure and if I have to continue to wear a drain of some sort (gross), I may need more days.

On top of that, now I'm afraid that something is really wrong. Cancer patients are more susceptible to illnesses due to a weakened immune system. Maybe I'm just jumping on the paranoia wagon here, but it seems I've been awfully sick lately.

I've already lost enough time as it is, I have no insurance and quite frankly if I have to ask for MORE time off, I'm not sure I'll have a job come the first of the year (which is really bad since no one has responded to my sent resumes).

I think I've done pretty good avoiding a rant post in a long time. I am sorry for this one today but I feel like talking to certain people locally is pointless because no matter what I say, what I feel is managed like you would talk to a child. I feel like no matter how I feel I'm told I'm feeling it wrong, or too much. Instead of listening, I get arguements. And I'm tired of those too, I'm tired of it all.

And for my own sake, I'll just note here that the nurse said she was surprised I was even working with my fevers. THERE! She said it, I didn't make it up, SHE said it. I'm NOT crazy, I'm NOT hallucinating these things, I'm NOT trying to avoid work, I dont want to lie about my fevers just to make people feel better. I'M SICK.

I might post later, for now accept my apology please...