Every year I write a year end post. This year, I thought for a long time what I should write it about. I even reviewed my prior year end posts here (2005), here (2006), and here (2008).
Each year, I see some similarities. But this year I can say with pride that I have accomplished many of the goals I had aspired to do back in 2005, some in 2006 and at least one in the 2008 posting.
I have officially lost 102 pounds as of this posting. I read every single day even for 10 minutes, and I read holistic books, novels, fiction, and even classics. I pray everyday. I am beginning to love my body or at least find some peace with it. I've met with no fear the ghosts of the past and gotten some closure.
There are ups and downs as there always are. And while I find I have no philosophical words of wisdom to offer, I offer myself. My trials and tribulations, my successes and tears. I offer them for they are just as precious as inspired thought. They represent me, and I represent someone special in a sea of someone specials numbering in the billions.
I hope this year love finds me. I hope that I”m open to seeing it. I believe I am ready for an emotionally healthy relationship. It's been 8 years as of this writing for any relationship of any length that was healthy. There have been some who stood out, but none with the longevity that I seek. Perhaps I wasn't ready, but I believe I'm ready now.
For the first time since 2004 when I started blogging I have a small amount of financial security. It isn't much but it's mine and I hold it closely to my heart. I've worked hard to get here. When I look now to the future it doesn't seem so dark as it did when I started this public journey. I'm sure there will be storms along the way, in fact I expect them; but as I approach the big 4-0, surprisingly I'm not as afraid as I thought I'd be.
It seems as if I'm meant to be right here where I am. I'm ok with that, for the first time, I'm ok with that.
I continue with the list of aspirations that seem to help me so. It's short but it's of quality. Lets hope that in my aspiring to do these things, I inspire others to do great things as well. That is of course, my ultimate goal.
Aspirations for 2011
I aspire to lose another big amount of weight and reclaim at the age of 40 the body I lost as the age of 21.
I aspire to find myself doing something in a field of counseling or helping others in even a volunteer way that not only feeds my soul but also helps people feel better, do better, live well.
I aspire to light candles for those I pray for every day. Again as I listed in one of my prior posts, they're small and quite possibly no one ever sees them but I like to think in a whisper they know someone is thinking of them and ultimately it makes me feel good.
I aspire to finish my novel that has been in progress for a long time
I aspire to finish my vision board
I aspire to laugh more often
I aspire to not take life so damn seriously.
I aspire to be true to my self to be authentic in my journeys, wherever they take me, whatever foreign place I may land with it, I aspire to always be me and not what people think I should be.
I aspire to love, even if I don't find a mate, a partner; I will aspire to be the messenger of love showing people that love can be felt in many ways and not everything has to fit a stereotype.
I aspire to talk to my angels more, to allow them to guide me as I did in 2006 when even faced with a threatening disease I still felt empowered and alive.
I aspire to go out more, to not be so afraid of criticism in peoples eyes, choosing instead to assume they look because they're amazed at my beauty.
I will start my day in gratitude for at least one thing, everyday because to live in gratitude is to live in joy
I will be more thankful for the little things and more vocal to others about it as well so they know they are loved.
And I will find a way to put my quotes at my desk and offer them up to anyone who wants them. May they bring someone joy, like others bring me joy.
I am looking forward to 2001. With the passing of 2010 and no major hospital issues, I'm thinking the spell of health issues that plagued me might be lifted. I also will remember my mantra everyday: I am happy, healthy, wealthy, and... sane grin
We could all use some sanity in an insane world yes?
Wishing all who stop by here, joy, peace and love that brightens the darkest days. Know you are loved.
Muse
No comments:
Post a Comment