Wednesday Catch Up & Goddess Inspiration

Just love everybody that interacts with you no matter how personally, or how peripherally, involved with you they are. The efficiency of the people who deal with you... everything is orchestrated by the manager called Law of Attraction. And your vibration is setting all of it into motion. Everything affecting you is a reflection of the vibration that you are emitting. Spend more time focused upon your dream than upon the reality. The reality gives birth to the dream -- but the dream is where you are wanting to put your attention. --- Abraham Excerpted from the workshop in Houston, TX on Saturday, January 13th, 2001

Thank you Mrs. Virgo for the pick me up quotes I received yesterday. Despite yesterday being a very crappy day overall, these did help keep it from being one that spiraled into some depths of darkness.
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So, I’ve been busily packing, showing my house and other things as of late. I had the good fortune the other day to sit in a very comfy chair on my deck with my coffee and find 10 minutes to meditate. It was a very rejuvenating experience. I also started my supplements again today now that my tooth issues are resolved. It’s good to feel healthy goodness coursing through me. The positive result of this today was stepping on the scale and having dropped 6 pounds of 13 gained. I want to lose 7 more and then I’m doing a detox, cleansing program by Isagenix. That should give me the jump start needed to get back on track.

So much has been going on lately; I wouldn’t even know where to begin. So I’ll highlight the things that stick out the most.

1. The Library of Light has been created. I’m seeking contributors who can offer stories of positivity, enlightenment, quotes the embrace positivity. I’m seeking regular contributors as well as those who wish to just contribute once in a while. So far I have two who have indicated interest in regular contributions. This project is only in its initial stages and will take some time to gear up fully, but when ready it should be a brightly lit corner of the web, housing hope, inspiration, and joy. It will also be part of a group of positive sites designed to inspire, offer intentions, and guidance to any who want it.
2. Move date is 7-6, so packing is underway. In the meantime, the landlord is eager to sell the place so I’ve been host to realtors who wish to show the house to their clients. Showing it, eats into the time I have to pack or do my own things so this has been a frustration, but there’s no way around it. I just keep plugging away.
3. No change on the job front. I do not have time to look right now, and even if I DID, I wouldn’t have time to interview. With time off for the first real vacation I’ll have taken in years at the end of June and the move in the first week of July, it’s too difficult unless the potential place is willing to interview after hours. This will need to resume at some point. I MUST get something… Though I have to admit I feel a bit defeated when it comes to this. Out of the prior ones I sent I only got like 4 responses and 3 of those I was highly qualified for. I didn’t get any of them. Really makes me sad.

Other than that, life for the most part is good. There are a few starts and stops (ie a flat tire yesterday, other small things), but I can look at the big picture lately and feel good about where things are. Financially this isn’t so, but I’ve resigned myself to having to suffer these woes until I can get a better job.

In an effort to help me get grounded again and maybe STAY grounded this time, I’ve begun my morning card pulling routine again. As much as I can post, I will post the cards here. They are from my favorite deck called The Gifts of the Goddess. I’ve had these cards for years and when I quit smoking they were part of my daily routine. When I slow down, breathe slowly, and concentrate, I find that when choosing a few of these cards I’m always surprised at how accurate they are for what I’m going through. Here today are my three chosen cards:

~ Goddess of Healing: “I enjoy being healthy and doing what is good for me.” Use this gift when you feel resistant to doing what you know is in your best interest. The desire to sabotage our efforts to improve ourselves comes from our resistance to change. With self improvement comes new activities, friends and other manifestations of change we so often resist because we fear the unknown.
~ Goddess of Perseverance: “I earn my living doing what I love.” Use this gift when you feel unfulfilled by your present manner of employment. You created your present work situation and you can create a better one too. Take on work that nurtures your mind, body, and spirit and that of others. Whatever you do for a living, you can use your creativity to do it. Make your life a work of art and your art a work of life.
~ Goddess of The New: “I love and accept myself as a unique individual.” Use this gift when it seems that you are not being accepted for any reason, but especially if it is because you are different from other people or because you want to be different. You do not need the acceptance of ignorant or intolerant people. You cannot change anyone else. What you need is to love and accept you for being a good person.

How true are these today?

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WELL WISHES
Live in your dreams today. Let them unfold around you unfettered by reality. Even if it’s just a diversion it is a welcome one. May you have many smiles today.

You are a blessing to me everyday.
Muse

The Simple Life

The great pioneer of simple living, Helen Nearing, offers eleven wonderfully wise tips for living not only a less stressful life, but for living in a more connected and organic way. Her tips really work: she lived to be 91, and her husband Scott to be 100. Find out the simple principles for Living the Good Life, right here:

1. Do the best you can, whatever arises.

2. Be at peace with yourself.

3. Find a job you enjoy.

4. Live in simple conditions; housing, food, clothing; get rid of clutter.

5. Contact nature every day; feel the earth under your feet.

6. Take physical exercise through hard work; through gardening or walking.

7. Don’t worry; live one day at a time.

8. Share something every day with someone else; if you live alone, write someone; give something away; help someone else somehow.

9. Take time to wonder at life and the world; see some humor in life where you can.

10. Observe the one life in all things.

11. Be kind to the creatures.

Life is Good.

If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain. ~ Maya Angelou

To change one's life: 1. Start immediately, 2. Do it flamboyantly, 3. No exceptions. ~ William James

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Lady luck is smiling on me for the first time in a long time. For a while when she situated herself on my shoulder, I thought for sure she had just gotten lost. But sure enough in some areas, she proved her existence to me. This weekend was no exception.

Google man and I have by the virtue of circumstance and interest, decided to share a place to live. This was something decided upon before the fiasco of my landlord telling me I had to move. It made sense after all options were examined, to keep on the current choice, but to get a new apartment (versus moving back home, etc).

I immediately immersed myself in all the routine of finding a place, negotiating timeframes, coordinating companies and working time off into the picture. After a week of searching, we went Saturday to the 7 places I had narrowed the search down to. Lady Luck smiled her sunshine smile on us Saturday when we entered the first place on the list and absolutely fell in love with it.

The landscaping in the place is gorgeous, the families with their kids walking around as well as the secure entryway with a camera gave me an instant breath of relief. The apartment itself (we only looked at a one bedroom) was WOW! The amenities (I’ll list them ;) are phenomenal! We just fell in love with it. We decided over the course of a few hours, to go for a two bedroom since we have plenty to store and it made sense financially.

Then we sat at a table watching the blue water of the pool, and waited to fill out the forms. And then it hit me…

Oh my god, I’m going to be living with someone!

I’ve lived alone since 2003 now, and was quite accustomed to it. I like my space and I like my space the way *I* like it. A few rampant thoughts ran through my head.

“But what if it doesn’t stay clean?”
“But what if things don’t work out?”
But…But…But…

Before the fear of change could turn from a trickle to a flood, I looked back at the window, and out to the pool.

“So what” I thought to myself.

“This is change, this is life, and right now… it’s pretty damn good”.

Yup, it sure is. So I signed the lease with a smile and it hasn’t left my face since…

Have a beautiful day everyone!

(Property Description & Pictures below!)

Situated on the Seven Bridges Golf Club, our elegantly appointed mid-rise apartments offer three distinctive interior finish selections the suit your lifestyle. Spectacular golf course views pale in comparison to the incomparable amenities within the community. Enjoy access to vast recreational opportunities and a great selection of fine dining and entertainment options at your doorstep at the Main Street at Seven Bridges.

APARTMENT FEATURES
> Custom finishes
> Gourmet kitchens with white or black Whirlpool appliances
> Frost-free refrigerators with automatic icemakers
> Full-size side-by-side washers and dryers
> Large walk-in closets
> Separate walk-in showers
> Oversized oval garden tubs (WOOOHOOO)
> Double sink vanities
> Raised bathroom vanities
> Expansive balconies with views of the Championship Golf Course

COMMUNITY AMENITIES
> Resort-style pool and sundeck
> Fitness studio and weight room
> Executive business center and conference rooms
> Club room with large screen TV and surround sound
> Mid-rise elevator buildings with telephone & Camera entry system
> Enclosed reserved garage parking
> Individual storage areas
> Bike room
> PGA quality putting green
> Extensive landscaping, open space, amenity areas, and walking paths

Judgement & Joy

The splendor of the rose and the whiteness of the lily do not rob the little violet of its scent nor the daisy of its simple charm. If every tiny flower wanted to be a rose, spring would lose its loveliness. ~Therese of Lisieux

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What is it with this month? Is there some cosmic/karmic thing going on? It just seems like something is going on with everyone I know. I have a friend who is stuck in the hiring process of a major company for a reason that is … strange. I myself have things coming up that I can’t plan for, and a move to get ready for. Another friend is having a third surgery because the first two haven’t gone/healed right. Other friends have lots of issues going on. I swear I’m going to get out my incense, oils, and start blessing everyone I meet just to right the cosmic rails again! ARGH!

On another note, today is Friday, it’s beautiful and a surprising event happened this morning! For most of you long time Muse blog readers, you know the story of Crony in my life. For those of you who aren’t familiar with her, let me explain. Crony (as I have nicknamed her) is just that. She’s argumentative, highly judgmental and extremely opinionated. She’s an older woman who just simply reminds me of a crone. She has on more than one occasion caused problems for me at work; the height of those problems was when I finally went to my boss last year and said almost in tears, that I could NOT work with her anymore. (They never did anything about that by the way, expecting me to either leave or deal with it.)

Everyone seems to accept her eccentricities with a shrug. I have a very hard time doing that. I think if we’re all going to be clustered together in the work environment, EVERYONE should do their best to get along. For the nearly two years I’ve been here, it’s been very lopsided (and usually not in my favor).

Today I had the distinct pleasure (yes, pleasure) of talking to Crony for about an hour and a half. Yes, let me repeat… I did say pleasure. It turns out not only does she have a heart, but it’s very warm… not cold as previously thought.
Crony participates in many charity functions. She is constantly giving to people, organizations, anyone in need. She displayed a caring and warmth that I genuinely thought was something she didn’t even understand. Talking with her today really opened my eyes to the grudges I had held against her for all the times she belittled me etc. I’m not saying I will forget what she did, and I certainly won’t trust her any more than I have done previously, but as she spoke I realized that I too had been just as judgemental as I perceived her to be. The reflecting picture of that realization is a picture of myself that I don’t like to see.

Do I think she’s a saint? No.
Do I think she’ll change and be nicer to me? No.
Do I think she deserves to be judged by me? No.

So today I realized that I need to be much more open. I really need to work harder to not sit in the back seat with my judgments and grudges and really drive instead, moving forward to achieving a better sense of patience and openness.

I think I can do that, I’m an excellent driver.

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WELL WISHES
Today my wish for you is that you simply enjoy the day. That you have the sight to open your eyes and see the beauty of the day and not the darkness of problems or concerns. That “your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small”. (Rascal Flatts “My Wish”). With all my heart, I send this wish to you today. May it find you and give you a smile.

You are a blessing to me everyday.
Muse

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AND REMEMBER
“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” ~Carl Gustav Jung

Cha Cha Cha Changes & a Late Happy Mother's Day!

Mother’s Day this year, while it should have been a wondrous celebration, was overshadowed by bad news received not 12 hours earlier. On Saturday in the evening, I received a call from my landlord saying that they were selling the condo I’ve rented for three years. A couple of scenarios were examined hastily before the threat of panic at not having money or a place to go became prominent. Examining a few scenarios helped keep the panic at bay (thank god). However, this time in my life is proving to be both busy and stressful.

I’ve been getting used to being busier than I have been in three years as of late. I think this busy-ness has been prepping me for things like this. So now, I’m busily working on finding a new place, hiring movers, and all that a move entails (and doing it in under 6 weeks!). It’s not a fun time for me, but it’s not the worst I’ve been through either. It helps to have friends/family that understand until I get settled again, time is not my own to do with as I please just yet.

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But, on a side note, and an important one, I wish to send out the best love and wishes to the woman who has on more than one occasion saved my life.

She saved me from a horrible family life at the tender age of 4.
She saved me from my own past that threatened my life at the age of 16.
She saved me when both myself and my spouse (at the time) were both unemployed and owned a house.
She saved me when I was struggling so hard to make ends meet on my own with leftover debt.
She saved me each and every time regardless of the hour when tears would overwhelm all thoughts.
She saved me when cancer appeared in my life
She saved me after my surgery with all her help medically, to ensure I healed properly.

She gave me love
She gave me life
She gave me a home
She gives me support and strength

She saves me everyday and gives me love in every way. I am who I am because of her, and while I’m late, I wish to honor her today (because it’s never too late to honor your mother!).

I know times are tough for me mom, but in honor of all you do, who you are, and who I am when I’m with you; I give you my heart and life. Happy Mother’s Day!

"Are we friends?"

“Are we friends?”

The words hung suspended, silent like the icicle hangs in frozen winter. I counted the seconds and listened to the breathing on the other end.

“That’s a good question” was the reply said with a sigh.

For something so simple to be asked, the answer was a complex as a rubik’s cube.

I am not someone who likes to have grudges, loose ends, or unresolved matters in any situation. It may take me some time to get to a point of closure or forgiveness, but I will get there someday.

I think today was the first day that closure had been reached with respect to my ex husband, ex marriage, ex life. It’s been a long time coming, and the road has been filled with nasty emotional potholes that drain the life right out of you the same as they do to the air of the tire that they just helped flatten.

A conversation was had, slowly, tentatively even. The baby steps were hard, and in the end may show no visible fruits of labor so to speak, but even as those small steps were taken… closure was had.

When I was married I was very young, just a mere 22; a naïve 22. Through the course of time, the young and the blind reaching out for a relationship both missed the mark. Things were done, words were said and a stain of hurt was left on my heart.

It’s been three years since the life that I knew of in marriage ended. I sort of liken the time spent in between that time and the time of “now” to purgatory; that place which helps to cleanse the soul. It's been a hard process and there have been some stops and starts, steps forward and many many steps back. But I've made it.

I don’t know what type of friendship with me, if any, is on the horizon for the man I once said forever to. But the screaming demons of hurt that have for so long shouted in my ear, or as of late whispered, reminding me that they were there… are silent.

It’s a peace I welcome with open arms.

Muse

Dreams, Action, and A Community of Light

Our life is composed greatly from dreams, from the unconscious, and they must be brought into connection with action. They must be woven together. ~Anais Nin

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Dreaming and doing, two polar opposites sometimes for me. I dream a LOT but I don’t do a lot. At least not with respect to my dreams. Especially the dream of flying naked, I really don’t do that a lot. I might scare all of Illinois if I did that, no matter how good it might feel to fly. :P

In all seriousness though, sometimes I have dreams that show me what I need to do. Sometimes they just show me what I want but even with that I rarely take action. Why is that I wonder? I mean it’s like saying “Oooh I could have whatever I wanted, but I’m not going to do anything to get there!”. I see that recurrence in many of my blog posts. “I will do…” and somehow I just never do it.

I’m not finding blame with myself. Nor am I downing myself and causing un-necessary guilt. I’m simply acknowledging these things I see in myself.

“Hi, My name is Muse and I’m a procrastinator, Dreamer without action, yet hopeful woman of change?”.

Maybe it’s time to really, sincerely work on change.

I’ve been afforded a rare opportunity recently to get a lot of things in my life in order. While I work on those things (finances, etc) perhaps I can with a clear eye work on the rest.

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On another note, after having deleted Digital Soup Online the blog, I find that I’ve missed it. While I was thinking of recreating it, I thought “Why not make it better than it was?”. So I am very happy to announce that a new blog of purely light will be emerging very soon. It will have quotes, inspirational articles, reader submissions, etc. I would like to see some participation in this blog, with the knowledge that no one HAS to contribute. Only if they want to should they…

In the true form of a “Book of Light”, the blog will be ONLY light. Most of us have our own blogs, journals, etc where we can post our daily thoughts, trials and tribulations, but this blog will be a place, a COMMUNITY place to create your own corner of light in the massive web. So if you’re interested in contributing, or perhaps being an author with me on this project, please email me at suekw71 @ gmail . com (remove the spaces) and let me know. It would be a pleasure to work with folks on a place of light where anyone can get some inspiration and joy.

Be well friends
Muse

Monday's Child was serene

What a beautiful day today! The sun is out, it’s warm and there is a nice breeze on occasion that catches you and makes you smile.

The weekend went wonderfully. A lot of big decisions had perched themselves on my shoulders constantly nagging at me reminding me that an answer needed to be reached. And finally this weekend, after reaching some point of clarity, I put those nags to bed where they can sleep until the next big decision I will have to make surfaces.

I’ve grown comfortable surprisingly so with Google Man at a very fast pace. I have to keep reminding myself as someone said to me “It’s not like your 18 and you have to be cautious of these things because you just don’t know better”. She was so right. A lot of my understanding of a lot of things is based on what I knew the last time I dealt with it. Well the last time I dealt with relationships I was much younger and so, I was carrying those ideals and concepts around. And the truth is things are different now. I’m an adult (Yipee!) and can make choices based on my needs/desires accordingly.

All that aside, the weekend was restful, fun and remindful for me; remindful in the sense that this is what it was like to relax and do things at my own pace. Life always has its stressors, but lately the stressors I have, haven’t seemed enormous. Attribute that to whatever you like, but I’m certain it has everything to do with some things lining up properly in a world of chaos. It’s like standing in the eye of the storm, but never having to ever leave that eye. The storm revolves around you but you’re safe.

I have noticed however, that this month has its share of small “issues”. What is with my being such a damn klutz lately!? It’s to the point where I’m left going “What the hell is wrong with me?”. I’m forever dropping things, forgetting things, and feeling like I’m going left when I should go right. I’m beginning to wonder if the sharp drop in my short term memory has anything to do with menopause. Crony at work advised in her sage wise voice, that “I’ve been past this point for 20 years and it STILL goes on”. Great! Thanks for the positive information!

Post it notes are my friend :P

I’m going to try and paint something this week. I have some books I took from the library (yes they still exist!) and if I find some time and inspiration, I’m going to read up a bit and try some of what they say. Who knows, maybe something good will come of it. Believe it or not I have a few requests for pictures lol. We’ll see how it goes.

Have a beautiful day everyone!

Once in a Blue Moon; May 31st

The Blue Moon

This is only 12 moons. The 13th Moon is called the Blue Moon, and occurs when four full moons fall within the same season. As regular seasons only have 3 full moons, the fourth full moon between solstice and equinox, or vice versa, is the Blue Moon. This happens once a year, always at a different time due to the inconsistency of the modern calendar with the luner cycles. The Celts originally set their year to correspond with the 13 moons but with the coming of the Romans, this tradition was lost. Their 13th Moon was called Ruis or Elder. The Blue Moon is considered the 'goal moon', at this time it is customary to set specific goals for yourself and to review your accomplishments and failures since the last one.

The Blue Moon - WiccaWeb

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Ever wondered where the definitions came from? See below for a more descript “scientific” observation of the “Blue Moon”. A lot of my spirituality involves incorporating things from various traditions, most noteably Wicca. In particular things having to do with the moon.

I can already see the “goal moon” having it’s effect on me this month in that several major goals are being set despite my fighting to have to deal with the stress of large decisions :P I’ve also already had one review of accomplishments and failures and I’m sure more are to come this month.

So in honor of that which drives me especially this month, I thought perhaps you might like to see the two sides of this particular story… or in this case, the three of them; the pagan, the scientific, & the mistaken definition. All of these make up the history of “The Blue Moon”.

Be well everyone, you are loved today and everyday.
XO Muse
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Blue Moon
From Nick Greene,Your Guide to Space / Astronomy.

"Once in a blue moon."

You have probably heard this expression before. It usually means not very often. But, is there really such a thing?

Well, yes, but it’s probably not what you may think, and it’s definitely not what it used to be.
According to David Wilton’s fabulous Word Origins web site, the phrase Blue Moon probably started with an anonymous poem from 1528,

Read me and be not wrothe,
For I say no things but truth:
"If they say the moon is blue,

"We must believe that it is true."

Calling the moon blue was an obvious absurdity, like saying it was made of green cheese. The phrase, “until a blue moon” developed in the 19th century, meaning never, or at least extremely unlikely.

After all, they do occur.

In 1883, an Indonesian volcano named Krakatoa exploded. Scientists liken the blast to a 100-megaton nuclear bomb. Fully 600 km away, people heard the noise as loud as a cannon shot. Plumes of ash rose to the very top of Earth's atmosphere. And the moon turned blue.
Krakatoa's ash was the reason. Some of the ash-clouds were filled with particles about 1 micron (one millionth of a meter) wide--the right size to strongly scatter red light, while allowing other colors to pass. White moonbeams shining through the clouds emerged blue, and sometimes green.

Blue moons persisted for years after the eruption. People also saw lavender suns and, for the first time, noctilucent clouds. The ash caused "such vivid red sunsets that fire engines were called out in New York, Poughkeepsie, and New Haven to quench the apparent conflagration," according to volcanologist Scott Rowland at the University of Hawaii.

Other less potent volcanos have turned the moon blue, too. People saw blue moons in 1983, for instance, after the eruption of the El Chichon volcano in Mexico. And there are reports of some caused by Mt. St. Helens in 1980 and Mount Pinatubo in 1991.

The key to a blue moon is having in the air lots of particles slightly wider than the wavelength of red light (0.7 micron)--and no other sizes present. This is rare, but volcanoes sometimes spit out such clouds, as do forest fires.

The use of the phrase blue moon to indicate an actual astronomical phenomenon first started in 1932 with the Maine Farmer’s Almanac. Its definition was a season with four full moons rather than the usual three, where the third of four full moons would be called a "blue moon." Since seasons are established by the equinoxes and solstices and not calendar months, it is possible for a year to have twelve full moons, one each month, yet have one season with four.

That definition mutated into the one most quoted today when in 1946, an article in an astronomy magazine by amateur astronomer James Hugh Pruett misinterpreted the Maine rule to mean two full moons in one month. This definition seems to have stuck, despite its error, possibly thanks to being picked up by the Trivial Pursuit game. As we’ve seen previously, as in the case of seeing the

Great Wall of China from space, the writers of Trivial Pursuit are capable of making errors.
Whether you use the newer definition or the one from the Maine Farmer’s Almanac, a blue moon, while not common, happens on a regular basis. Either way, they occur approximately 7 times in a 19 year period.

Much less common is a double blue moon (2 in one year). That only happens once in the same 19 year period. They occur in January and March, thanks to the short month, February. The last double we saw was in 1999. The next will happen in 2018.

So, will you ever see a blue moon? In astronomical terms, it is very likely. If you hope to see a full moon which is the actual color blue, that is less likely, but possible, especially during forest fire season. But, if you don’t want to do something, don’t put it off until a blue moon. You may be at it sooner than you’d like.

Memories From a Not So Distant Place

I received an email today from someone who hadn’t been aware of my cancer and surgery. It’s funny, after all this time (having my first successful post op with no cancer in January)I kind of felt removed from the whole thing as time has moved on. And yet at the receipt of this email the emotions all came back and as I thought about it, I realized; for the last few days thoughts of this nature had already been on my mind.

I was reflecting yesterday on my drive home from work, about how this time last year I was starting to feel really sick and had no clue what was wrong. This time last year (April) I had been rushed to the ER due to loss of blood where I was diagnosed as Anemic...That’s all. I saw this while I was driving kind of like a hologram of images in front of my windshield. And it made me pause and think wow; it’s been a hell of a year.

I find now, that after it’s all said and done and even though I’ve not dealt with it all, that now the past is starting to get fuzzy. The fear and panic I felt at hearing the doctor say the word “cancer” are a memory shared in whispers among those who were the first to find out as I sobbed on the phone to them uncontrollably.

I remembered last night as I was falling asleep the day I went to the doctor and “signed my first born away”. And there were no tears; not that there wasn’t sadness, there was. There was immense sadness, but no tears. I remembered the “Letter to my unborn child”, that came out of nowhere surprising even me with its depth and existence. And finally I went after I couldn’t hold back the apparent flood of memories anymore and re-read my fervent prayer where I laid my heart out bare for all online to see.

THEN the tears came and they washed over me with no less intensity than that of a wave angrily crashing against the unaware shore, washing all the sand, rocks and pebbles away in one fell swoop. After a time when the tears stopped, turning into sniffles, shudders, and the occasional constant yawns of sleep approaching instead; I went to bed and dreamt of nothing, but slept.

But then morning came and life like it always does, gently caressed my mind and sight making the memories look foggy again so I could go about my day. Now, I sit at my desk again the thoughts creeping in quietly, reminding me of the things I should never forget.

1. I had cancer
2. I survived cancer
3. My cancer is not trivial just because I didn’t have chemo and radiation
4. I’m going to be sad on occasion, reflective more than not, and get lost on the path of memories more than I think
5. I’m still very afraid that it will return
6. Cancer is a HORRIBLE experience to go through regardless of the level at which you have it.
7. That many people suffer this (even ongoing) and I have big hugs for them.
8. It’s ok for me to be sad
9. The loss of my internal female organs, is just as traumatic a loss as that felt in any other way.
10. It's ok to acknowledge that just because I’m cured doesn’t mean I didn’t go through a traumatic experience. I don’t have to feel like nothing happened just because it’s “over”.
11. That I should always remember the way I felt so I can support anyone else who ever needs it.
12. That little things will always make me remember when I least expect it, and that’s ok too.
13. That I’m ok, and so are my thoughts and emotions regardless of what or where people think I should be in my path of self/mind restoration.

There is no real point to this post other than acknowledging the past, recognizing that it has interrupted my day, and letting it go so I can continue to move on.

It’s harder than you think, and yet there is peace to be found when you do it.

“…send your angels to hold my hand. Just let them hold my hand.” Prayer from a Muse.

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To anyone reading this, known or not; You are a blessing to me everyday, more so than you can know.