A hard won battle. PLEASE share some love for Mrs. B

Independance even back when it meant something for all of humanity was a hard won battle. This is no truer than today for Mrs. B in AZ.

Mrs. B in AZ is a very close friend of mine. Yesterday she won her independance. This battle has been a LONG time in coming and today as I heard in her voice, the excitement and happiness is there....

Congratulations Mrs. B in AZ. You DESERVE this!

Many XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX and even more love to you Mrs. B!!

Now go do something for YOURSELF. I mean it!!!!

Please, celebrate with Mrs. B in AZ the fact that she has reclaimed her life. Wish her well, please... it only takes a minute and will make me and Mrs. B VERY happy :)

The concert will begin in 3 minutes...

Breathing shallow trying to be calm I look at the wooden floor of the stage. The heavy curtain of deep red moves to an unseen breeze stirring the dust from the floor. Behind me the musicians prep their papers, instruments in a hushed anticipation. I straighten my gown of spun gold, and smooth my brown hair even straighter, tucking an errant piece behind my ear. The audience chatters lightly to themselves, a laugh is heard and arm brushed by another is seen through the tiny gap in the curtain behind which I wait...

The lights do their dance of light to dark, telling the listeners the time has begun. As night overtakes day the whispers die down in the descending blackness of the room. Violins strike their single melody, holding, straining. Followed by various other instruments in a timeless melody, the music begins. And in that single moment before the curtain begins to open the air becomes charged. Charged with my fear, my excitement, my energy and the eyes of a thousand people all straining to see... me.

This is my stage and today I am the performer extraordinaire. And I will sing... I will sing so loud that God himself will look down, a tear in his eye in wonderment of the souls expression. I will feel the air course through my lungs filling me, awakening every fiber of my being. I will be both the artist and the work of art carefully crafted, lovingly displayed with such a spectacular hauntingly beautiful display that no museum can ever reproduce.

And when the first note seeks to exit my throat, I realize... THIS is where I should be. Right here... where I am free.

©SKW
*****
This mornings car ride was peppered with the enthusiasm of the fact that it's Friday and I'm off until Wednesday after today. YAY! The music was mystical transporting me to the stage again where once there I felt like I had in my teenage years where I understood EXACTLY why the radio needed to be so loud the world could hear it. As I turned the songs up louder today telling the world that I WAS HERE, I began to sing and this mornings' ride became one of magic instead of the mundane.

I love to sing. I sing all the time. Strangely enough though, I do not sing in the shower lol. But I sing everywhere else. I sing when I'm on the phone with people, I even sang on air when I owned my internet radio station. I sing when I clean I sing when I cook... But there is no singing quite like the concert I put on in my car.

The minute those doors close and after the silence settles around me, no matter if i'm going 5 minutes or 50 minutes I am on stage in my mind. And damn if I can't sing just as good as Mariah Scary oops I mean Cary ;) I can sing Green Day like no one's business, or JLo as if I had been duetting with her from the start. I can sing most artists, and as long as the song moves me I will sing it.

And if I don't know the words well I will make them up as I go along. I have no fear of sounding stupid... I'm the artist when I'm singing! ;)

Today I sang on the way to work, I finally got some sleep last night, and now i'm smiling. All is well with the world.

*****
WELL WISHES

May you sing with joy today even if only in your heart. May it set you free to soar to great heights and bring you much happiness. And if you can't sing if your spirit is down, then I'll sing for you because today I have enough to give :)

XO

*****
AND REMEMBER:

He who sings frightens away his ills.
Author: Cervantes (Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra)Source: Don Quixote (I, 22)

I'm a GHETTO FABULOUS DIVA MUSE!

I'd like to thank Blog Dog for this link (supplied eons ago to us readers on his site, that I just remembered about today :D) that caused me to spit my soda onto my monitor at work. It's been a long time since I've felt the burning tingling of a well had laugh :P

And now, onto my GHETTO FABULOUSNESS!!!

Warning: Not for the faint of heart... Or for those of virgin ears... or for those with small animals... or for those with Puritan views... or for those who live in a bubble... or for those who don't absolutely think (or know) that I am the bomb!

And yes, I've had too much caffeine/sugar and am very slap happy right now. Maybe I should have wine too? How much can the muse take?!

Signing off before I make a total moron of myself :P

Ciao Ghetto Fabulous Muse-acolytes!

Plagerism, Blogging & This Fish... Oh my!

The perils of blogging… a scare that I think we all may come across at some point.  

Read Here

Queens of My Heart

I have only had three hours sleep. i'm exhausted. I love you all but I have no post today other than this:

For Mrs. B in AZ: Breathe, exhale, breathe again. What you're doing today is very tough, the results will be bliss... I'm there for you in spirit squeezing your hand and hugging you tight. You are NOT alone.

For Mrs. Virgo: Thank you for being such a kind friend and as always understanding me and the things I may do (or not do). Thank you for understanding that I can't come over today and still loving me :)

For Aussie_male: Thank you for keeping me awake on my journey into the office. Thank you for caring as well about my future. *hug*.

For everyone else: you... RULE. Thanks for reading my blog and making me feel special just by doing so...

xo

Muse

Aloha Kapu; Forbidden Love

No quotes today, indeed no post from me today. It's not that I do not wish to write anything but I can't think yet today (lack of sleep lol) , so I'm posting a story right out of Digital Soup Online for you all today. It's paart of the Series called "Love Letters" and is simply that. The person(s) represented in these love letters is someone I've come across in my life who's moved me, but as is traditional in these letters, remains nameless. :)

Enjoy!

*****
Aloha Kapu; Forbidden Love

Aloha Kapu as I’m told is the Hawaiian expression for “Forbidden Love”. Love in all its forms is an expression of beauty, even in secret…

My love,
When I was little, I was told of a knight on a white horse. I was told that this knight loved me so much, that he would risk life and limb just to save me. I was told that this knight wanted nothing but to make me happy, no matter the risk to him. I was told this knight existed and would become my king, and I would be queen. Together we would rule the kingdoms of our hearts.

I live in that dream sometimes even though I knew it to not be real. I have met and loved before, but I hadn’t found my knight. Slowly, surely the image of the knight, once dreamt of so distinctly by me, faded. His face so rugged, yet soft, blurred through my tears as I watched him be whisked away by the breeze of reality. His eyes, so kind and full of love, blended with the blue of the sky as the storm of his passing cleared. And the white horse he rode, became a vision as the clouds roll by taking their form, teasing me. That is, until I met you.

You rode no white horse, but your eyes captivated me. The song I heard in the background, softly sung, was that of a knight’s heart. Though your face is different from that of the knight of my childhood, it is the same. My heart leapt in its desire to believe. Belief in the existence of such a fairy tale blossomed again. Your first words “M’lady” gave you away, and with reckless abandon I gave myself to the emotion of the dream. My spirit sighed at having found its mate, my heart danced with yours ecstatically, until we learned that it wasn’t to be.

There is not quite as deep a pain, as knowing that you’ve found your home but someone else lives in it. While we stand just next to each other, simply to feel each other’s presence, we know with heavy heart that it cannot be. I would never wish for pain or separation to be brought to another, and so with the distinct sound of shattering heart resonating in my ear drum, I tell you of my love and that I will not allow it to come to fruition. Together, an agreement is made to share stolen moments, where we just bask in the other’s presence, and for a time this will do. But sometime it will be the left hand of a two handed choice weighed down like the scales of justice. Which will outweigh? But again, that is somewhere in the distance and this, is right now.

My fairy tale, handed to me on wings of joy. Too swiftly, however, those very wings ripped out from underneath, causing me to tumble. But even as I fell, your voice guided me, whispering “I love you”. Giving me the strength to decide that yes, I could love in secret.

The depths of a woman’s heart hold many chambers and many secrets. Tucked away, filed under “fairy tale”, is my knight. As I approach his chapter, softly I hear the song of his heart, the whisper of many secrets shared, but one distinctly resounding in my head, “I love you”. I smile as I cry, my hand resting against the bound book of my fairy tale, knowing that indeed, I love you too.

My Aloha Kapu, my fairy tale, my forbidden love,
Your Muse

©Susan Wilson; Digital Soup Online 2006

*****
WELL WISHES AND BLESSINGS

Have a beautiful day everyone, remember that someone out there is thinking of you and hoping that you have nothng but joy today.
XO

*****
AND REMEMBER:

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do." --Eleanor Roosevelt

This is your life...

Yesterday is a wrinkle on your forehead

Yesterday is a promise that you’ve broken

Don’t close your eyes, don’t close your eyes

This is your life and today is all you’ve got now...Yeah,

and today is all you’ll ever have

Don’t close your eyes

Don’t close your eyes

This is your life, are you who you want to be

This is your life, are you who you want to be

This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be

When the world was younger and you had everything to lose...

~Switchfoot; "This is Your Life"

*****
Those lyrics were playing today when I crested a rather steep hill this morning and the sunlight hit my face with an almost mystical timing. The combination of the brilliant sunshine, the perfect timing with the lyrics, and the wonderment by me of where my life is and is headed almost had me tearing up. There are some moments where you just have to sigh deeply because they’re so beautiful that they’re almost profound in their wisdom. I find these moments to be times when something tells me to stop, and listen.

There are messages everyday if we listen to them. They don’t have to be neon signs flashing to get your attention; I mean they don’t even have to be spoken messages for you to hear them. Sometimes the messages are just balmy breezes refreshing your skin & spirit when you least expect them. Or perhaps the message is sunlight draping its way through the shadows finding you even as you’re hidden or mired down in darkness. They can even be the message of love offered in a simple texted hug.

Miracles happen everyday.

I don’t pretend to know all the answers to life, hell I can’t even straighten my own out sometimes. I have no idea about politics, wouldn’t know how to debate religion, and have no clue what I’m here for. But sometimes on a morning like this when something as simple as a morning drive with music can move me so, I get a glimpse of what’s important. A glimpse of what’s inherent to our very souls but that life tries to shut out. Even so, this “glimpse” is still all part of the wheel of life we’re on. I’m happy for the view today.

Sounds stupid eh?

Well for now, it’s what I feel, and I’m sharing it with you *smile*

Have a great day everyone! (I may post again later)

*****

DAILY INSPIRATIONS

Thank you for reading them. It may be silly, but I do not care. Digital Soup Online; the Blog will continue :)

*****

WELL WISHES

I've been asked why I barely separate out the well wishes. To be honest, the list got too long :P It was taking me loinger to do the well wishes section than the whole post! On one hand I would LOVE to recognize people individually, on the other Crony at work here watches me so I had to accomodate some changes ;) Iwould love to offer EVERYONE well wishes personally. I love to do it. It makes me happy to do it. So on occasion I will do them individually, but for the time being I'll send EVERYONE blessings and wishes en masse. Never fear, I care for you all :)

Today's wish for everyone: May you all somewhere, sometime today see something unexpected and beautiful. May it bring you a smile and give you a tangible memory to hold onto today and other days as needed to bring you light when you need it

XO

*****

AND REMEMBER

“A computer terminal is not some clunky old television with a typewriter in front of it. It is an interface where the mind and body can connect with the universe and move bits of it about.” ~Douglas Adams

*Yawn* *Stretch* *Pop Joints* Is it Friday yet? :P

I love you as you are and I always will love you as you are. ~Mom

I’ve yet to encounter anything more important than friends. ~Jessie Smith; Submitted by Tony, remember your friends love you.

It is not how much you do, but how much Love you put into the doing that matters. ~Mother Theresa; Reflect on your actions today.  Did you fill them with love? If not, be mindful of this going forward.  If yes, give yourself a hug.

*****
Monday, Monday…  Well I managed to sleep through the night albeit with some awake time.  All in all though I think I got more sleep than I usually do, so that’s good.  

I read over the weekend that Blog Dog had a rough day/time.  It’s amazing to me how much one can feel for another they’ve never met.  I truly felt for him and not just because he posts in my blog.  I felt for him because he shared something openly about himself, his situation… he allowed me a glimpse inside.  That’s a precious thing these days.  

Even in this internet world of anonymity, when someone lets you inside their life, they may take it frivolously (i.e. Oh, it’s just a blog), but it’s still a glimpse and if more people had respect for the fact that this glimpse is special perhaps we’d have less animosity and more acceptance.  

Then again I could just be full of smoke.  But I don’t think so.

I wish you a special wish today for a better day Blog Dog.  As much as you offered your caring to me  when I was down, and even though I’m late (in that this happened over the weekend and it’s Monday now) I return it to you also to brighten your day.

*****
As for me, I had a good weekend.  I had company Saturday and spent the prior few days cleaning like a madwoman in anticipation of that, as well as the party I’m hosting on 7-4.  The upside of this is that my house is immaculate!  Literally!  All my laundry is even caught up!  I was so proud of it, that all day Sunday I actually did my dishes AS I USED THEM!  I mean this is huge! Lol.

The downside of it, is apparently I’m not as young as I used to be or maybe I’m just too fat anymore lol.  I spent the ENTIRE weekend soooo tired from all my exertions.  Friday I fell asleep really early, Saturday I could barely stay awake after 9pm (sorry Sean!), and even Sunday I slept in until 11am.  Now THAT’s unheard of for me.  

It will be nice to not have to do major cleaning this week, but just pick up and vacuum as the party gets closer.  

Well as the day at work drags on I can feel my auto pilot kicking in.  So for now dear readers of my drudgery I will sign off with the usual assortment of feel good eye candy :P  

And thanks Aussie_male again for giving me an awesome ride into the office.  I so look forward to our chats.

Have an awesome day!
XO

*****
DAILY INSPIRATIONS

Please check out Digital Soup Online; the Blog.  I would love feedback in the form of comments if and ONLY if you enjoyed what you read, if it inspired you or just made you feel good.  A corner of light in this world is only as good as the light brought in *smile*.  Feel free also to contribute your own story, quote or song.  Thanks!

*****
WELL WISHES

For Sean, Jules, Blog Dog, Mrs. Virgo, Aussie_male, Mrs B in AZ, Kami, Mr. Uber, Mr. Quiet Strength, Elindoberry, Mr. Serenader, Cray, Kelli of Kelli’s Musings, and my mom:

I wish you all a day of happiness, light and love.  May the hugs be plentiful, the kisses be sweet and the whispers of my heart to yours be like balmy breezes reviving your spirit.  

For those not specifically mentioned but always in my heart, know you are thought of today and cared for everyday.

*****
AND REMEMBER:

I just found out that the brain is like a computer.  If that’s true, then there really aren’t any stupid people, just people running DOS.  ~ Unknown

(soo true :P)

Friday and I'm not sure what's going on...

While today isn’t necessarily a “bad” day (at least not like yesterday, not now, hopefully not at all today); I seem to have a sense that something not too good may be coming for me today.  You know that feeling right?  The one that blankets you with an almost fear like quality even though nothing frightening is going on?  Or maybe it’s the sense of something speeding at you with no power to stop it?  I really truly desperately hope I’m wrong.  For now though all I can do is sit tight and wait.  So unfortunately too, do you…  

Since I am waiting for either this feeling to pass, or the event I speak of to happen I will simply offer this as a daily light (it struck me yesterday as I read it, and I thought you’d all enjoy it)

Lastly before I sign off for now; thank you to those people who went out of their way to make me feel better yesterday.  Including the blogging friends I have, the real life ones, the online ones, I really felt much better by the end of the day.  It truly makes a difference even if it’s just a post, or a shared sentiment.  Many thanks to you all.  

I’ll keep you posted as to events if and when they may unfold for me today.

*****

Permission To Simply Be
Working Through Transitions
The elation we feel when we have learned an important lesson, achieved a goal, or had a big breakthrough can sometimes be met with a period of downtime afterward. During this period of transition, we may feel unsure and not know where to turn next. Many people, during the pause between achievements, begin to wonder what their life is about. These feelings are common and strike everyone from time to time. Human beings are active creatures-we feel best when we are working on a project or vigorously pursuing a goal. But there is nothing inherently wrong with spending a day, a week, or even a month simply existing and not having a plan. Just be. It won't be long before you embark upon your next voyage of growth and discovery.

The quiet lull into we which we fall between ideas, projects, and goals can make life seem empty. After accomplishing one objective, you may want to move immediately on to the next. However, when your next step is unclear, you may feel frustrated, disconnected, or even a mild depression. You may even perceive your lack of forward momentum as an indicator of imminent stagnation. To calm these distressing thoughts, try to accept that if your intent is personal growth, you will continue to grow as an individual whether striving for a specific objective or not. Spending time immersed in life's rigors and pleasures can be a cathartic experience that gives you the time you need to think about what you have recently gone through and leisurely contemplate what you wish to do next. You may also find that in simply being and going through the motions of everyday life, you reconnect with your priorities in a very organic, unforced way.

The mindful transitional pause can take many forms. For some, it can be a period of reflection that helps them understand how their life has unfolded. For others, it can be a period of adjustment, where new values based on recent changes are integrated into daily life. Just because you're not headed swiftly to a final destination doesn't mean you should assume that you have lost your drive. The stage between journeys can become a wonderful period of relaxation that prepares you for the path that will soon be revealed to you.

Because I have nothing good to contribute today...

(AKA - having a really bad day), I'll fill this blogspace with quotes and quizzes...

American Cities That Best Fit You::

75% Atlanta

70% Austin

60% Las Vegas

55% Denver

55% Honolulu

Which American Cities Best Fit You?

Your Dating Purity Score: 61%

You are an under-experienced dater. This doesn't mean you're unexperienced - far from it. It just means that there's a lot of romance left to discover!

Dating Purity Test

Your 1920's Name is:

Zella Pearlie

What's Your 1920's Name?

Exotic Dancer Name Is...

Scandal

Exotic Dancer Name Generator

You Are Cyclops

Dedicated and responsible, you will always remain loyal to your cause. You are a commanding leader - after all, you can kill someone just by looking at them. Power: force beams from your eyes

Which of the X-Men Are You?

Your Kissing Purity Score: 37% Pure

You're not one to kiss and tell... But word is, you kiss pretty well.

Kissing Purity Test

Your 2005 Song Is

Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day "My shadow's the only one that walks beside me My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating" In 2005, you bummed everyone out. Like you care.

What Hit Song of 2005 Are You?

**SOOOO TRUE**

In a Past Life...

You Were: A Lazy Fortune Teller. Where You Lived: Turkey. How You Died: Killed in Battle.

Who Were You In a Past Life?

You Belong in 1976

If you scored... 1950 - 1959: You're fun loving, romantic, and more than a little innocent. See you at the drive in! 1960 - 1969: You are a free spirit with a huge heart. Love, peace, and happiness rule - oh, and drugs too. 1970 - 1979: Bold and brash, you take life by the horns. Whether you're partying or protesting, you give it your all! 1980 - 1989: Wild, over the top, and just a little bit cheesy. You're colorful at night - and successful during the day. 1990 - 1999: With you anything goes! You're grunge one day, ghetto fabulous the next. It's all good!

What Year Do You Belong In?

You Are The Sun

You represent the best of life - vitality, success, and and truth. You tend to have a strong, centered, balanced personality. Inspiration and discovery are your fortes. You are very mentally strong. A talented mind, you tend to excel at math, philosophy, and music. Your fortune: As well as you have done in the past, the future is going to be filled with more success. A new creative project is coming your way. Feed it, and it will grow into something huge. Great riches, recognition, prosperity, or happiness is coming your way. And it's possible that a fantastic vacation, or a new baby, is coming sooner than you think.

What Tarot Card Are You?

You are 60% Libra

How Libra Are You?

I think you can tell by the volume of quizzes here, and lack of content the kind of day I'm having. it's the kind of day you just don't blog about...

Bye for now

WHO'S your Tomb Raider?!

I am BIOTCH!

For those of you who spoke to me last night you know what this means. Now, on to your regularly schedule blog posting :P

*****

"Naturalness is the easiest thing in the world to acquire, if you will forget yourself - forget about the impression you are trying to make." ~Writer and Self-Improvement expert, Dale Carnegie, author of "How to Win Friends & Influence People"

Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you, not because they are kind, but because you are."~Author Unknown

"You were born an original. Don't die a copy."~John Mason

*****
First note of the day: MUSINGS ISN'T SPAM!!! As determined by a blogger employee. Thank you oh blogger employee for deciding what we already know and lifting the security measures so that I can post from word again!

*****

Interestingly enough, the last quote has been posted before. But today it was in my bag again... Must be the one for the day.

In my chats with several people I've discovered the desire to make utopia skye something more than it is. I'm nearing the conclusion of these chats and approaching the time when I can actually do something about that and it fills me today with absolute JOY!

To know that something *I* thought of, even just in it's name and original design, is going to be something that has (cuirrently) and will (in the future) mean something to people makes me ecstaticly (sp?) happy. There are people I've been blessed with in my life who fill me with the absolute inspiration to continue forward with those dreams. They don't see them as pipe dreams, they see them as reality waiting to happen. And those people infuse my spirit with the possibilities. That is what I need, daily to fuel my soul. THAT inspiration, trust, love, friendship is what I need to survive.

No matter when on this earth my time may come, because of those people and the dreams they fuel. Because of the realities waiting to happen (no matter how small), I know *I* will not die a copy. And THAT today make me smile equally as much as last night did ;)

I think for right now, I will live in that spirit and wish you all a fabulous day of joy in whatever you do.

XO

*****
DAILY INSPIRATION

Digital Soup Online; The Blog

*****
BLESSINGS AND WELL WISHES

May you all be blessed today with the cheshire cat like grin that I seem to not be able to be rid of today. May you all be blessed with friends to inspire you, and it is my sincere wish today that no matter the weather, the sun always shines warming your heart.

*****
AND REMEMBER

Happiness comes when your work and words are of benefit to yourself and others. ~Buddha

Part of my sanctuary

Dreaming...

"Your whole life is nothing but a dream. You live in a fantasy where everything you know about yourself is only true for you. Your truth is not the truth for anyone else." ~Don Miguel Ruiz - "The Mastery of Love"

Rule Seven - Others are only mirrors of you. You love or hate something about another person according to what love or hate about yourself. Be tolerant; accept others as they are, and strive for clarity of self-awareness; strive to truly understand and have an objective perception of your own self, your thoughts and feelings. Negative experiences are opportunities to heal the wounds that you carry. Support others, and by doing so you support yourself. Where you are unable to support others it is a sign that you are not adequately attending to your own needs.
~Cherie Carter Scott – Rules of Life
Pay attention to your own needs so you can efficiently help others.

100 Ways to Be Happy and Feel Good...
1. Never put yourself last.
4. Count your blessings every day.
5. Acknowledge your successes along with your downfalls.
6. Burn the candle that has been in storage for the last two years.
8. Remember, the voice telling you that you cannot do something is always lying.
*****

The first quote today is one that a lot of people don’t get. I know I sometimes forget this. Even today as I sit here typing this I have to wrap my mind around it, even though the meaning may seem simple to others. I really like Don Miguel Ruiz’s thought process. His books are very refreshing and if you have a chance you should look into them.

Today, I’m tired … again. I fell asleep early but then woke up and couldn’t sleep soundly for a while. I think that I may have to start sleeping in the living room, not only because I’m apparently more comfortable sleeping there now, but also the air conditioner in the bedroom is broken. It wont turn on now and I cannot sleep at all with heat. I had to choose one air conditioner to be fixed because my landlord says they can’t afford to fix both (yet they’ve increased my rent…). Before it broke, I had chosen the living room one to be repaired because it had the most space to cover and cool. I leave that one sometimes 24/7. The bedroom one generally only gets turned on at night. So now, I’m only getting one air conditioner and the other which was working is now broken. I hate window air conditioning. I know it’s more expensive if central air breaks down, but window air conditioning is not an effective means of cooling space.

I have to move next year. And I’ve decided that if in a years time (technically to April because I have to plan in advance for moving arrangements and such) I can’t find another job here, then coinciding with another big decision for myself, I will move out of state in the hopes of restarting my life elsewhere. I know that sounds wrong moving without a job, but if I can’t get one here, and have the means to start over elsewhere without too much danger, then I think I should take it. I’ve never taken a big risk in my life and coming in April I will have to decide on two big risks. One would be moving, the other only a very few know about as it’s a very private very big decision.

Even though I get mired down in stagnation, I am of enough awareness to realize that I won’t be like this the rest of my life (hopefully). I know something needs to be done. I hope that continually re-evaluating where I am in life will help me stay focused on where I need to go.
*****

I sat on my deck for the first time since I’ve moved in here, two days ago. It was wonderful. I just sat and listened to the wind as it whispered around my ear blowing through my hair. Then when it began to lightly rain a FULL rainbow made me smile. I took some digital pics of it, but I’m not sure they came out. If they did, I’ll post them. The rainbow disappeared as they sky became gray with clouds, but then it came back a brilliant orange-ish red tint to all its colors. It was breathtaking. I’ve spent so much time indoors sometimes that I wonder how many such lovely rainbows I’ve missed.

I’ll have to incorporate some time on my deck now that the weather is nice and the deck is brand new.

*****
The 4th of July promises to herald a very good fireworks show. The city of Aurora always does a wonderful job and even more wonderful is that it is directly across the street from my house. I never have to leave, wander among crowds, brave bugs, find parking, seating etc. I have front row seats and for the second time since being here (yes I braved the old deck the very first weekend I moved in to view the fireworks) I will sit on the deck with a bottle of Shiraz and toast to independence. I may or may not have company, we shall see. But in any event I will celebrate the fact that people fought for our freedom back when there weren’t things like computers to give people voices as they sit behind machines. Freedom that came when people rose up and said ENOUGH. Maybe I can use this for myself and say ENOUGH.

Have a beautiful day everyone!

*****
DAILY INSPIRATIONS

Check em out at Digital Soup Online; The Blog. Feel free to contribute or not, comment, or not. Maybe just maybe we can bring some more light into this world. You decide...

*****
BLESSINGS & WISHES

~For Mrs. Virgo: you’re in my thoughts as always. Have a wonderful restful day.
~For Mrs. B in AZ: I miss you. I hope you’re well today.
~For Blog Dog: I’m glad your blog and mine have met :D I wish you a day of smiles.
~For Kelli: Thank you for continually reading my blog, I hope you have a beautiful day full of sunshine.
~For Aussie_male: You’re also always on my mind. Have a day full of peace.
~For Jules: Welcome back and know you were missed even by us bloggers ;). I wish you smiles all day today
~For Cray: I hope your summer gets better for you. I’m sending lots of love your way
~For Kami: I miss you. It seems like so suddenly the summer and the advent of your leaving for most of it is already here. You are always in my heart. I’m sending you hugs today.
~For Mr. Uber: I hope you have a day of smiles today as well. You’re being thought of.
~For Mr. Quiet Strength: I think of you often and send you well wishes every second I think of you. Today may you be happy all day.
~For Shaun: You are so close to my heart that I can’t help but love you every second I think of you too. I send you and your whole family love and digital hugs. Tell your dad I said thanks for letting me barge in and wish him a happy father’s day even though he’s not my father.

~For everyone else that may read this that isn’t specifically mentioned: As you know I think of so many people throughout the day. So many faces come to mind, so many memories. It may seem lame to wish everyone a beautiful day, or a hug or smiles but I really do wish that for everyone. For those who aren’t specifically mentioned but are in my heart, I wish you whispers of balmy breezes of peace. I wish you bright stars at night and deep restful sleep to carry you through to the next day.

XO

*****
AND REMEMBER

"The only people with whom you should try to get even are those who have helped you."
~John E. Southard

Today make it your primary goal to get even. Get even with all those who have given you a smile, or a kind word, or a reason for laughter. Get even with those who have made your day brighter, your load lighter, or the taste of life sweeter. Don't narrow your focus, either, but let your getting even be a universal act, passing along all the bits of goodness you've received to every person who crosses your path. That'll show 'em.

Courtesy of Kate Nowak; One Million Blessings Project

More than you ever wanted to know about me but didn't want to ask :P

So today while reading Kelli’s Musings… I stumble upon this quiz that I’ve seen many folks do, but never did myself. So here today is my quiz and answers for you. Post yours in comments if you wish or you can be uber discreet and just email your answers to me too :P Your call

The idea is to finish each sentence with the first thing that comes to mind.
I know nothing (yup starting off really good here, lol).
I believe in the importance of our hearts
I fought against a lot of things as a child.
I am angered when I lose … anything (sigh, I guess the secret’s out, I’m VERY competitive and *deeper sigh* probably a very sore loser).
I love to make others happy
I need to lose weight
I take way too long to think of an answer to these questions :P
I hear crickets at my work is that bad?
I drink WINE!
I hate being lonely
I use bad language a LOT
I want to make love… sometime in the next millenium!
I decided that today would be a good day
I like to feel pretty
I feel ugly right now :P
I wear nothing as often as possible (lol!)
I left Mr. Uber behind in chapters of the newest Dean Koontz Book I’m reading :P I do hope to enjoy myself tomorrow *grin*
I hope that someday I can quench the fires of boredom that eat away at my soul during work
I dream in color and often see myself in my dreams
I drive people crazy :P
I listen to a lot of really good music (loreena McKenit, Enya, all sorts)
I type apparently too much at work according to crony
I think as little as possible from 7am, to 4pm.
I need a life
I wish I had enough money to buy a 20 acre lot and enough money after that to build on that lot, furnish it with beautiful parks and offer land to my friends to make a special community. Thanks Mrs. Virgo for that persistent image!
I am anxious right now. I want to go home lol
I compensate with my heart offering everything I have online, instead of doing that in real life
I regret a mistake I made right after my divorce that while at the time was fine, still lingers in my memory as something I shouldn’t have done.
I care for a lot of people, I’m just bad at showing it.
I should be more around for real life friends.
I am not always the nice sweet muse everyone thinks I am. In fact, I’m downright nasty sometimes.
I said nothing of importance today during work.
I wonder if I will ever find a new job?
I changed my underwear today :P (What! I couldnt’ think of anything else! It’s supposed to be the first things that come to mind!)
I cry ALL the time at sappy movies. It’s like someone left the water faucet on and now I can’t shut it off!
I am not having sex right now LOL
I lose myself and all sense of time when I’m having fun
I leave in 25 more minutes YAY!

Enjoy! lol

The Castle of Dreams

Monday (Revised)

I had to do my best to not laugh at loud at Aussie_male’s comments to my earlier post. That laughter removed all my anger, so thank you Phil. Truthfully, I do realize having been the recipient of Spam messages in the form of comments to my blog, that there are people who abuse the system. I just really never ever thought that my blog would ever be considered one of them. It caught me off guard. I’m sure when a “human” reads this as opposed to a machine they’ll see the difference (after all machines don’t have hearts they can’t read emotion :P), I hope they read it soon. Using blogger for word has saved me having to access the blogger control panel and thus allowing me to post while at work. Having to log in to do this causes me extra steps that can be viewed while I’m at work and this poses a threat to me.

In any event, on to the usual daily messages:

*****
"If you don't release those who hurt you, you will begin to resemble them."
~Rick Warren.

"You can't go to where you want to be and stay where you are at."
~Joyce Meyer

*****
I only pulled two today because I was late getting out the door lol. However, the two chosen were very apropos for me. I’ve found recently that I’ve held onto two grudges about people from the online realms that have hurt me. These hurts are deep and the wounds still seep on occasion with poison even today (and in one case this is years ago this happened and I STILL hold onto it today). It makes me very bitter sometimes.

In both cases the people were folks I had trusted with the inner realms of my heart. In both cases, IN MY OPINION, these people had violated the trust that had been bestowed upon them. There are very few ways that people can hurt me this deeply, but both hurt me deep enough that I still harbor upset over it.

Even if it’s just me that has this issue, even if I am harboring anger for nothing, it is still an emotion to be reflected on, actions to be pondered, and yes eventually let go. That’s the part I’m stuck on… the letting go. Soon that will come. With one, already I’ve let some go and my heart is that much better for it. But the sad thing is I will never trust her again like I did and anyone else will really have to earn that type of trust too. Sad that one persons poison can actually do so much damage. Be careful with your words, thoughts, energy, they can turn in to weapons.

On a side note, I’m not sure if you all remember the poem I posted? Here is the link to that prior posting:

Water Shows the Hidden Heart

I might just have another poem coming soon that will be an addendum to that. For those of you that understand what I really mean then it means happiness may be imminent. Look out below! Happiness coming! (maybe)

*****
DAILY INSPIRATION

Daily inspiration is now permanently housed at Digital Soup Online; the Blog. Feel free to comment there, leave your own insights, affirmations, things you need help on, etc. It’s a place for everyone to get some light, and share some peace and happiness. It may sound crazy, but that’s what it is. In my opinion we need many more places like these (and if you know of some send me the link, I’ll be happy to feature them!)

*****
WELL WISHES

Today I wish everyone a beautiful Monday. May the lemons of life, be the best lemonade you ever had! Welcome back Jules!
XO

*****
AND REMEMBER:

"Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough. We must do."

~Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe, German philosopher, 1749-1832

Musings, considered...spam. Happy Monday to you too

So I come back to posting to finally figure out why I can't use Blogger for word anymore. It keeps giving me errors when I post. Now I know why, check it out folks... You tell me what you think. Is this blog spam? I think that's laughable at best. I wonder what criteria they use for this? Is it because I post 5 days a week not including weekends? Because I do not spam peoples comments like they have mine with ads to check their blog for watch sales...

Here's the note:

Your blog requires word verification
Blogger's spam-prevention robots have detected that your blog has characteristics of a spam blog. (What's a spam blog?) Since you're an actual person reading this, your blog is probably not a spam blog. Automated spam detection is inherently fuzzy, and
we sincerely apologize for this false positive.
Before we can turn off mandatory word verification on your posts we'll need to have a human review your blog and verify that it is not a spam blog. Please fill out the form below to get a review. Find out more about how Blogger is fighting spam blogs.

And here is their definition of a spam blog:

What Are Spam Blogs?
As with many powerful tools, blogging services can be
both used and abused. The ease of creating and updating webpages with Blogger
has made it particularly prone to a form of behavior known as link
spamming. Blogs engaged in this behavior are called spam blogs, and can be
recognized by their irrelevant, repetitive, or nonsensical text, along with a
large number of links, usually all pointing to a single site.
Spam blogs
cause various problems, beyond simply wasting a few seconds of your time when
you happen to come across one. They can clog up search engines, making it
difficult to find real content on the subjects that interest you. They may
scrape content from other sites on the web, using other people's writing to make
it look as though they have useful information of their own. And if an automated
system is creating spam posts at an extremely high rate, it can impact the speed
and quality of the service for other, legitimate users.

So now I have to wait for a human person at blogger to review my blog to determine what myself and my dedicated readers already know... that this blog isn't a spam blog. I'm a little irritated by this considering how many times I've gotten spammed in my comments from others. I do hope THEY are considered spam blogs. Because adding light to the world along with my own personal statements to me, doesn't seem to be spam. Though I suppose I could be wrong.

Yes,I've filled out the form for a human to review my blog, but somehow the whole thing just seems stupid to me, and really violates to me what the purpose of my blog is (Open, honest, intimate sharing of my thoughts and light for you all). Then again, maybe I'm just making too much out of nothing, and I should let my personal thoughts be considered spam and be up to a human review for publish-worthyness.

I'll sign off now before I sound even more ridiculous in my anger. I might be back today, but only if I can actually post something positive. though, maybe I should wait for a human to review it before I do so I can use the tools that BLOGGER GAVE ME, without incident.

/rant off

Ladies & Gents, the muse has left the building...

Just wanted to all my tried and true readers know that I will be signing off for a bit. I’ll be posting daily messages in the Digital Soup Online blog but this “Musings” blog won’t be updated for a bit. I do not normally post on the weekends anyway so it shouldn’t be too much of a loss but just in case I don’t post again Monday I wanted you to know why.

Until I blog for you again…Cheers to you

Muse

"I who am blind can give one hint to those who see: use your eyes as if tomorrow you would be stricken blind. And the same method can be applied to the other senses. Hear the music of voices, the song of a bird, & the mighty strains of an orchestra as if you would be stricken deaf tomorrow. Touch each object as if tomorrow your tactile sense would fail. Smell the perfume of flowers, taste with relish each morsel as if tomorrow you could never smell and taste again. Make the most of every sense; glory in all the facets of pleasure and beauty which the world reveals to you through the several means of contact which nature provides."
~ Helen Keller
When we begin to live each day as if it is to be our last one here, we suddenly realize the need to turn every experience into a cherished memory we would want to carry home.

"Kind thoughts are rarer than either kind words or deeds. They imply a great deal of thinking about others. This in itself is rare, but they also imply a great deal of thinking about others without the thoughts being criticisms. This is rarer still."
~ E.W. Faber; 19th century playwright
Try this experiment. For the next 24 hours, do your best to suspend all judgment and criticism of others. Instead, wrap every person you meet in a warm and loving thought of kindness. Don't just limit this to physical contact, but apply it to everyone who comes to mind. And for those you consider enemies, make certain the thought is especially kind. There is a very good chance that by the time the experiment is finished, the way you habitually think about your fellow man will be forever changed.

"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world the master calls a butterfly."
~Richard Bach, American Author

No matter what might be happening in your life right now, take a deep breath, relax and let your thoughts be still. Just as darkness gives way to dawn, so does despair create a new beginning. Never allow yourself to forget that it is from the darkest moment of the night that each new sunrise is born.

*****
The last few days have been a blur to me. They’ve been full of highs and lows, emotions, changes, confusion in some cases, and a definitive lack of sleep. I slept Tuesday night for the first time in a few days, passing out early and waking up late. I had a headache due to tension over my work. After a few moments of groggy panic fueled by the absolute refusal to go to work yesterday morning…I decided to call off. Sometimes you just need a mental health day.

With the molasses I feel I’ve been running in the past few days I’ve missed some important things… like the passing of a very dear friend to me. I posted yesterday evening when my internet came back up, about how I felt but my post was not what I would have wanted to say and it was a day late. I thought about it today and thought if I had the means to say all I wanted it still wouldn’t be enough. So I’ll leave my post about her the way it is and let my heart speak the volumes I’m unable to say in quiet… She’ll hear it. She is aware of all the things I speak quietly to her when I’m alone with my thoughts. She knows how much I love her.
Sometimes it is the quiet around us that stills our souls rather than the vocal expression of your life. And so it is today with me.

I hope you all have a wonderful day today.

*****
DAILY INSPIRATIONS

Has moved over to Digital Soup Online; The Blog; Check it out! Nothing but light and goodness over there for ya ;)

*****
WELL WISHES

Enjoy the day before Friday, choose something today and enjoy it. Maybe it’s the sun, maybe it’s the clouds… whatever it is let it bring you a smile today. My wish for you today is peace.

xo

*****
AND REMEMBER:

“It takes a deep commitment to change and an even deeper commitment to grow.”
~Ralph Ellison

Today's Affirmation
I am committed to the evolution of my soul.

Two Years

*Her room in the house known as Utopia Skye in The Sims Online*

If you can't see the link provided for this post you may need to register on the Utopia Skye forums. Registration is free and only requires a valid email address that only *I* will see.

"I met her in an online game, The Sims Online. And at first I wasn't sure she liked me." These are the opening words in the story "Angels Among Us" in the Book Digital Soup Online.

She became a very special friend to me, even though I never met her face to face. She became a very special friend to everyone she met and this is true even after her passing. To read her posts on the Utopia Skye forums gives you a sense of who she was, and still is in our hearts.

I could say a milllion words about Jessie. I could tell you how special she was, how beautiful, how loving. But none would do her justice. I cannot speak in the language of the heart, I can only give it expression through others...

and if you were with me tonight

I'd sing to you just one more time
a song for a heart so big
God wouldn't let it live

may angels lead you in
hear you me my friends
on sleepless roads the sleepless go
may angels lead you in
("Hear You Me", by Jimmy Eat World)

I miss you Jessie, your words, presence, and spirit continue to this day to move me.

"I've yet to encounter anything more important than friends". Jessie Smith 1976-2004

And I have yet to encounter anyone who moves me so. Thank you Jessie

Forget Me Not...

I have been so busy this morning I didn’t even get to post!

Well the latest update in my life is that I’m exhausted. I didn’t get to sleep until 2am last night and was up at 6am. I just barely made it into work today (THANK YOU AUSSIE_MALE for keeping me awake during my drive!). But I didn’t mind because it was for a good reason. And on top of it, I’ve been working on some online projects lately including volunteering for caringbridge.org. This organization helps families who are going through crises and provides a place for them to communicate to loved ones via the internet. I was so moved by this I immediately vounteeered my time and talents.

Which led to further discussion about the whole direction for Digital soup online. I have always envisioned this portion of my hopes etc to include a newsletter if people wanted it of inspiration. Well as of today The Blog for this page has been created and I’m looking for people to co-author, contribute stories, poetry, whatever is light, positive and loving. There is enough darkness in the world so my mission is to bring light to at least one damn corner of it! If you’re interested in co-authoring or just contributing email me using the email link on this page and we’ll talk!

This has kept me pretty busy the past two days (thank god) and BONUS because they’re things that make me happy too (internally happy, which as you know is different than surface happy). So today even though I’m tired and prone to irritability and/or depression I have a smile on my face.

There’s even talk of making Utopia Skye a non-for-profit organization! So much to think about and ponder.

Today I’ll leave this post as is minus the affirmations and instead put this in closure:

24 Things to Always Remember:

by: Bill Greer, Chicken Soup for the Veteran's Soul
Your presence is a present to the world.
You are unique and one of a kind.
Your life can be what you want it to be.
Take the days just one at a time.

Count your blessings, not your troubles.
You will make it through whatever comes along.
Within you are so many answers.
Understand, have courage, be strong.

Do not put limits on yourself.
So many dreams are waiting to be realized.
Decisions are too important to leave to chance.
Reach for your peak, your goal and you prize.

Nothing wastes more energy than worrying.
The longer one carries a problem the heavier it gets.
Do not take things too seriously.
Live a life of serenity, not a life of regrets.

Remember that a little love goes a long way.
Remember that a lot … goes forever.
Remember that friendship is a wise investment.
Life’s treasure are people together.

Realize that it is never too late.
Do ordinary things in an extraordinary way.
Have hearth and hope and happiness.
Take the time to wish upon a start.

AND DO NOT EVER FORGET ….
FOR EVEN A DAY
HOW VERY SPECIAL YOU ARE !

Happy Monday everyone! Musings to start the week off

Today, write a poem about you as if you were someone else. This MUST be a poem of light, pinpointing your beauty by any means, works, physical appearance etc. Do not be afraid to be conceited. ~Ways to affirm your beauty; Muse

Take 5 minutes to remember what you’ve been through, and how you’ve succeeded. Realize the challenges you’ve had, you’ve overcome. You will never fail in your endeavors because you have strength ~Mr. Uber

If you're feeling down, cheer up! Listen to your favorite upbeat music loudly, & eat your favorite snacks. Dance, sing, & do those things you want to, but rarely ever get a chance. Be as silly & wild as possible; I promise no one is looking! ~Shaun

*****

Wow, all three affirmations are from friends. Well the first one is one I wrote and *sigh* looks like it might be the hardest one today. People see the word conceited and immediately think negatively. Conceit in the form of recognition can be a good thing. It’s so easy to put down the things we do in life as average. I’m so guilty of that. But sometimes even the most average person can do the most extraordinary things. I’m horrible at allowing myself to feel good or take credit for any good I do, fearing that people will think I’m conceited. I will try hard to write this poem today. It will be posted later.

As for the second one, this is so true. I can’t think of a single person I know who hasn’t struggled and overcome some struggle in life. These trials, struggles etc are things that make us stronger. As much as I would love to look at the things that go wrong in my life and say “I wish I never had a bad thing happen again to me”, I know the minute that were to be true I would have no awareness of the beauty of life; The full picture of it… I forget this simple truth a lot too, especially when I’m depressed or feeling yucky in health. I’m grateful for the reminder of it today.

As for the dancing and music and such, well that’s a good idea Shaun. I may just take you up on it. :D I spend too much time worrying over what people will think of me that I think I never let my hair down anymore. This lesson is a particularly hard one to learn as we are so driven by our need for acceptance (at least I am). I hold this particular affirmation/advice close to me today.

*****
The weekend didn’t have much to report about it. I drove myself crazy trying to work a new blog template out. I drank too much wine but still wasted the bottle as well *blush* just two glasses makes me loopy. I did my chores, I leveled in World of Warcraft getting my main character to level cap (60).

I spent Sunday dreading coming into work and mentally made a calendar of how many days until 4th of July (16 business days). I’m thinking of taking whatever day is before that off(Monday I think is the 3rd).

I really need to get a job that I enjoy coming to. There are some good things about this job of course. Like: I can post here anytime I want pretty much, I can get a lot of work online done during the day, they’re pretty lax about things, and since I am pretty much the only one who knows computers I can get away with almost anything (though I AM careful). But for all those good points, there are downsides too. I never thought I’d say it, but I’m bored as hell and even have free reign over the internet world is not giving me the satisfaction of a job well done.

My mother never understood that about me. If I am not satisfied in my job, then it doesn’t matter how much I make, I wont want to do it. And the longer this thought process goes on the harder it is for me to get up and come in. It becomes more like pulling teeth everyday then heading to work.

So what’s the problem you ask?

The interviews I’ve been on (few though they are), have been jobs that I’ve been extremely qualified for. In a few cases, I’ve been almost a near perfect fit as far as I knew. One was so good, the company so different than the rest, that I was even considering relocating for it. In my opinion (though I could be wrong), I think I was not hired because of my weight. I’ve been on a thousand interviews in my life (almost literally) and I know the signs, I know what to do, I have no qualms presenting and I do it well. On top of that, I know my shit. I’m professional courteous and talented, but I never get called back. In one case (the latest one in fact), I went through 3 levels of interviews and they LOVED me, they told me so on the phone interviews. I went to the city and met with the president, had a fabulous interview and never heard from them again…EVER.

I’ve considered in light of this and am still considering, relocating out of state in the hopes of being able to get work elsewhere, maybe Illinois is just tapped you know? But since I can’t get a job here with any ease, I would HATE to move out of state, perhaps inconvenience whomever I stay with, uproot my whole life and then not be able to get a job you know?

With that said I have to renew my efforts to lose weight. I try, but motivation is not easy for me. Any emotional baggage or upset can throw my carefully balanced world of emotions out the window. If I feel that I’m taking a backseat to someone else, or not being thought of at all, or just generally wishing I were in a better situation (self defeating attitude I know), it causes me to say “I’m not working out today, it’s not worth it” or to eat more.

I know it may be obvious to some, but I know after some careful deliberation about my issues and concerns in life that 90% of my problem for me is this idea of how disgusting I am, or overweight or not healthy, or not able to succeed in love, work, etc simply because of my weight. Knowing this, I’m arming myself to try and attack this head on… everyday

Everyday I try again… So today, here’s hoping that I can renew and work on my commitment to myself…for myself. I have hope and today I have desire. Maybe they can work hand in hand for once and form a barrier against failure.

*****
WELL WISHES

I wish you all well today. I wish today being Monday would be beautiful and wonderful and NOT like any Monday you’ve ever had.

*****
AND REMEMBER:

(How PERFECT today)
"Your mental attitude will lead you into the light or hold you in darkness. It will lead you to hope or despair, to a glorious success or a miserable failure, and it is entirely within your own power to choose which it shall be." ~Orison Swett Marden, Early 20th Century Success Writer

Wine.. is good

This is the HIGHLY unusual weekend post. Not that it's anthing special per se, but that it's just unusual.

I've been seeking a means to do a few things:

1. back up this site in two formats. a) as a .pdf file so that I can have it electronically and b) as a text file that somehow captures all the images I've loaded and the comments people have posted with all the date headers and such (but minus the links) so I can publish my blog as a book.

Now I know, you're saying "But Why?". Well because I think given bloggers recently up and down history I'm not sure it will keep the archive of my life for me safely so I would like to just ensure somewhere I have a copy. That and even though it's not important to someone else, it is MY life, MY words and even MY poetry. Plus I do on occasion succumb to the little thing I have called EGO and would like to see my blog in print. Even if I'm the only one that enjoys it :P

That said we've discovered bloggers inability to load pictures with ease, and my inability to back up this site and as a result I've tried a new blogging service "Typepad". This one is a pay service and I would be willing to ante up a small amount for something that is reasonable. However the NOT user friendly means with which one has to create and modify the HTML of their templates has so filled me with frustration that I did the unthinkable... I opened a bottle of wine.

*GASP* I know, I know. Even after my adventure with the Reisling and wondering why I couldn't type (or see the keyboard too much after a few glasses) I finally decided to come back to the drawing board later.

Which I did, and I'm suprised and saddened to say, it wasn't my inebriated state that didn't allow for the HTML to work... in my opinion it was TypePad. So glass in hand after anothernights frustration trying to make it work I must say, I'm back on the tried and true blogger for a while.

And that folks means, I need something stronger tha wine tonight to deal with that assessment, yup yup... I need... sleep.

Nighty night all you wonderful folks.

xo

Baby Muse (and some other stuff :P)

I give up on trying to figure out why Blogger wont put in some of my hard returns. I just have to apologize to you all because the formatting on this is sporadic at best. I'm still looking into a different blogging service, because this is just ridiculous

a man is placed upon the steps, a baby cries
and high above the church bells start to ring
and as the heaviness the body oh the heaviness settles in
somewhere you can hear a mother sing

then it's one foot then the other as you step out onto the road
how much weight? how much weight?
then it's how long? and how far?
and how many times before it's too late?

calling all angels
calling all angels
walk me through this one
don't leave me alone
calling all angels
calling all angels
we're cryin' and we're hurtin'
and we're not sure why...

and every day you gaze upon the sunset
with such love and intensity
it's almost...it's almost as if
if you could only crack the code
then you'd finally understand what this all means

but if you could...do you think you would
trade in all the pain and suffering?
ah, but then you'd miss
the beauty of the light upon this earth
and the sweetness of the leaving

calling all angels
calling all angels
walk me through this one
don't leave me alone
callin' all angels
callin' all angels
we're tryin'
we're hopin'
we're hurtin'
we're lovin'
we're cryin'
we're callin'
'cause we're not sure how this goes

Calling All Angels – Jane Siberry (From the Pay It Forward Movie Soundtrack)

*****

How wonderful it must be to speak the language of the angels, with no words for hate and a million words for love! ~Quoted in The Angels' Little Instruction Book by Eileen Elias Freeman, 1994

Friends are kisses blown to us by angels. ~Author Unknown

The golden moments in the stream of life rush past us and we see nothing but sand; the angels come to visit us, and we only know them when they are gone. ~George Elliot

*****

I do love that song so much. It's one of the few that I listen to that can almost always bring a tear to my eye. Not only did I love it in the movie (which it was perfect for) but because at the end of it, the swelling of the singing almost pleading about the many different ways we are, softening into the truth that none of us knows just how this goes... It gives me shivers ow thinking of it. Truly that's how things are, we don't know how this goes. So we just try the best we can.

I am so glad it's Friday here. Simply because I get a half day at work today (first and foremost) but also because I can just lounge around and do what I want to do. God I love that. I hav big plans this weekend to have a date with my bathtub and lots of homemade bath oils and scrubs and girly type stuff. I have co-erced a male friend of mine to watch a movie with me that I love (but he may just groan his way through it). Eh, that's ok, I'm just happy that he's being kind enough to watch it with me.

The movie is "The Notebook". Believe it or not someone recommended (a GUY no doubt) that I watch this years ago and I refused until just recently. It has now become my favorite movie right up there with Titanic and Moulin Rouge among others. I know what you're saying, "total chick flick" but whatever people. Movies about love and romance are not just chick flicks (or shouldn't be). I know women are more emotion, men are more about logic or sometimes just passion lol, but still somethings can be shared and enjoyed. In any event, I'm looking forward to seeing the movie (again) but with someone this time.

So now that Blogger has gotten whatever problem it was having out of it's system, I thought I'd take advantage today by posting a whole slew of pics including a few of oyours truly in the "younger years" as I so lovingly call them. Hey make no mistake, both the clothing AND the hair was all the rave back then, I was at the top of the fashion chain when I was modeling (and it WAS 1986 - 1992 so give me a break will ya?). So here ya go...

Baby Muse Pic, even I have to say it... hot DAMN I was a cutie ;) and look at that dimple! I have many more dimples (yup even now in my *cough* old age)

This is the first ever picture of me with my biological brother Glenn. I was I think 2 and he was 4 or maybe i was 3 and he was 5. Who knows I just know just like puppies we are DAMN cute...

In High School I started modeling. This shot was a high school picture, taken of me my Sophmore year. Back then Aqua Net was hot and if you wore Pink satin ANYTHING you were damn cool. At least in my school :P

In my college days (1989-1993 when I got married) I was modeling for a catalogue and did some private modeling as well ;)

There are many more pics that I've found. If there is enough interest, if Blogger decides to finally stop fighting me and work with me, and if I feel comfortable enough I may just bore you with the posting of them :P

For now until I can think of more things to say (or Crony goes away, one of the two) i'll leave you now dear readers of my drudgery with the usual compliment of inspirations, well wishes and quotes. Have a fabulous day everyone!

*****

DAILY INSPIRATION:

Now is the time

Whatever happened on the previous attempt doesn't matter anymore. What matters is what you do now.

Though you may have failed once, or numerous times, or a thousand times, that has no bearing on what you're able to do now. In fact, each failed attempt brings you closer to success.

By discovering what does not work, you have more information to help you know what does work. The more you have invested in the goal, the more motivated you are to make it succeed.
Effort is never wasted, even when it leads to disappointing results. For it always makes you stronger, more capable and more experienced.

Now is the time to make use of all that strength and experience. Now is the time to push forward with more commitment and effectiveness than ever before.

Take great satisfaction in where you have been and in how far you have come. Now is your opportunity to make it into real and lasting success.

-- Ralph Marston (The Daily Motivator)

*****

WELL WISHES:

Have a happy Friday everyone! Do something even if it's just one small thing today, that YOU want to do. You have my permission ;) XO

*****

AND REMEMBER:

"To some people, surrender may have negative connotations, implying defeat, giving up, failing to rise to the challenges of life, becoming lethargic, and so on. True surrender, however, is something entirely different. It does not mean to passively put up with whatever situation you find yourself in and to do nothing about it. Nor does it mean to cease making plans or initiating positive action. Surrender is the simple but profound wisdom of yielding to rather than opposing the flow of life."

~Eckhart Tolle (Quote is taken from: The Power Of Now)