Conversations with Friends

"Favorite people, favorite places, favorite memories of the past.  These are the joys of a lifetime; these are the things that last." ~ Henry Van Dyke

Though my soul may set in darkness,  It will rise in perfect light; I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night”.  ~ Sarah Williams

"You are always a valuable, worthwhile human being -- not because somebody says so, not because you're successful, not because you make a lot of money -- but because you decide to believe it and for no other reason."  ~Unknown

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Today’s post is late… And it’s all Aussie_male’s fault :P

Conversation with friends is a great thing.  I’ve been trying to be better at this, both locally and online.  One of the things I’ve learned over the years even online is that:

"One of the greatest gifts you can give to anyone is the gift of your attention."
~Jim Rohn (Motivational Coach and Speaker)

Too many times we’re distracted by other things.  This is most true of our online chats.  How many times have you had more than one conversation going on online at a time?  That’s the beauty of it isn’t it?  That you can multi-task right?  The problem is sometimes the person on the other end feels slighted, like they’re less important.  I try to avoid giving that feeling to anyone.  

The reason this post being late is Aussie_male’s fault is because this morning he gave me and I gave him all my attention in an hour long conversation spanning several topics.  It’s conversations like these that I love.  I am blessed to have had and continue to have them with several people: Dana, Beth, Shaun, Aussie_male, Mr. Uber, Mr. Serenader, Tony, Sylph, Kami, and even sometimes Cray.  I enjoy those times when it’s just us and the conversation flows just like a never ending brook with many twists and turns.  

One of the things I discussed with Aussie_male today was the fact that the woman I used to be is lost.  She’s here somewhere inside me but she is lost her way home.  I explained that I have always been how people online have seen me.  Very open, very much the life of the party, very much a good friend, good listener, someone who makes others laugh etc.  But the difference back then, was that I did this in “real life”.  

Online I’m like this all the time.  I accept for the most part everyone as they are.  I want to be like this in real life now.  I want to be confident again.  I want to be able to walk away from people that hurt me and not look back, instead of looking back and questioning what I did wrong.  I want to get rid of the poison people give me with ease, letting it disappear from my heart without damaging my spirit as things seem to do these days when others hurt me.  

And for those of you reading this saying “You can do this, if you just try”.  I AM trying.  I am trying online dating, I am trying to lose weight, I am trying through several different endeavors to change my way of thinking to process things fairly but with less importance as I place on them now.  It’s a long, HARD process.  And believe me, as someone who never was accustomed to this way of being, thinking, feeling…it’s not that easy to make change as people think.  It can be done of course, but it’s not as easy as the proverbial “just do it” phrase would have you think.

Everyday is a start.  Everyday is a step in the right direction.  Everyday has promise.  But it’s hard.  So today I’m grateful for the conversations I have with folks where I can be who I am, depressed or otherwise.  I’m grateful for the conversation where I can admit my failings.  I’m grateful for the conversations that help me see the light of whatever problem has me in the dark.  Those conversations keep me on my path.  

Thank you my friends for those conversations.  

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WELL WISHES
May you all today enjoy the benefit of good conversation with friends or loved ones; and may it make you smile.

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AND REMEMBER:

“The child within you has what it takes to envision and manifest ANYTHING!  Let your spirit soar upon wings of creation! Let your soul playfully dance!  Let your inner kid out of you and give your self _expression!  You are a child of the universe—if you can imagine it, you can be it!”  ~Greg Barrette