Enjoy!
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Aloha Kapu; Forbidden Love
Aloha Kapu as I’m told is the Hawaiian expression for “Forbidden Love”. Love in all its forms is an expression of beauty, even in secret…
My love,
When I was little, I was told of a knight on a white horse. I was told that this knight loved me so much, that he would risk life and limb just to save me. I was told that this knight wanted nothing but to make me happy, no matter the risk to him. I was told this knight existed and would become my king, and I would be queen. Together we would rule the kingdoms of our hearts.
I live in that dream sometimes even though I knew it to not be real. I have met and loved before, but I hadn’t found my knight. Slowly, surely the image of the knight, once dreamt of so distinctly by me, faded. His face so rugged, yet soft, blurred through my tears as I watched him be whisked away by the breeze of reality. His eyes, so kind and full of love, blended with the blue of the sky as the storm of his passing cleared. And the white horse he rode, became a vision as the clouds roll by taking their form, teasing me. That is, until I met you.
You rode no white horse, but your eyes captivated me. The song I heard in the background, softly sung, was that of a knight’s heart. Though your face is different from that of the knight of my childhood, it is the same. My heart leapt in its desire to believe. Belief in the existence of such a fairy tale blossomed again. Your first words “M’lady” gave you away, and with reckless abandon I gave myself to the emotion of the dream. My spirit sighed at having found its mate, my heart danced with yours ecstatically, until we learned that it wasn’t to be.
There is not quite as deep a pain, as knowing that you’ve found your home but someone else lives in it. While we stand just next to each other, simply to feel each other’s presence, we know with heavy heart that it cannot be. I would never wish for pain or separation to be brought to another, and so with the distinct sound of shattering heart resonating in my ear drum, I tell you of my love and that I will not allow it to come to fruition. Together, an agreement is made to share stolen moments, where we just bask in the other’s presence, and for a time this will do. But sometime it will be the left hand of a two handed choice weighed down like the scales of justice. Which will outweigh? But again, that is somewhere in the distance and this, is right now.
My fairy tale, handed to me on wings of joy. Too swiftly, however, those very wings ripped out from underneath, causing me to tumble. But even as I fell, your voice guided me, whispering “I love you”. Giving me the strength to decide that yes, I could love in secret.
The depths of a woman’s heart hold many chambers and many secrets. Tucked away, filed under “fairy tale”, is my knight. As I approach his chapter, softly I hear the song of his heart, the whisper of many secrets shared, but one distinctly resounding in my head, “I love you”. I smile as I cry, my hand resting against the bound book of my fairy tale, knowing that indeed, I love you too.
My Aloha Kapu, my fairy tale, my forbidden love,
Your Muse
©Susan Wilson; Digital Soup Online 2006
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WELL WISHES AND BLESSINGS
Have a beautiful day everyone, remember that someone out there is thinking of you and hoping that you have nothng but joy today.
XO
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AND REMEMBER:
"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do." --Eleanor Roosevelt
1 comment:
Ugh...those knights never do what they're supposed to do...and I understand painfully well this love letter.
My favorite Elenore Roosevelt quote: A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong she is until she gets into hot water
(or something to that effect)
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