Today, write a poem about you as if you were someone else. This MUST be a poem of light, pinpointing your beauty by any means, works, physical appearance etc. Do not be afraid to be conceited. ~Ways to affirm your beauty; Muse
Take 5 minutes to remember what you’ve been through, and how you’ve succeeded. Realize the challenges you’ve had, you’ve overcome. You will never fail in your endeavors because you have strength ~Mr. Uber
If you're feeling down, cheer up! Listen to your favorite upbeat music loudly, & eat your favorite snacks. Dance, sing, & do those things you want to, but rarely ever get a chance. Be as silly & wild as possible; I promise no one is looking! ~Shaun
*****
Wow, all three affirmations are from friends. Well the first one is one I wrote and *sigh* looks like it might be the hardest one today. People see the word conceited and immediately think negatively. Conceit in the form of recognition can be a good thing. It’s so easy to put down the things we do in life as average. I’m so guilty of that. But sometimes even the most average person can do the most extraordinary things. I’m horrible at allowing myself to feel good or take credit for any good I do, fearing that people will think I’m conceited. I will try hard to write this poem today. It will be posted later.
As for the second one, this is so true. I can’t think of a single person I know who hasn’t struggled and overcome some struggle in life. These trials, struggles etc are things that make us stronger. As much as I would love to look at the things that go wrong in my life and say “I wish I never had a bad thing happen again to me”, I know the minute that were to be true I would have no awareness of the beauty of life; The full picture of it… I forget this simple truth a lot too, especially when I’m depressed or feeling yucky in health. I’m grateful for the reminder of it today.
As for the dancing and music and such, well that’s a good idea Shaun. I may just take you up on it. :D I spend too much time worrying over what people will think of me that I think I never let my hair down anymore. This lesson is a particularly hard one to learn as we are so driven by our need for acceptance (at least I am). I hold this particular affirmation/advice close to me today.
*****
The weekend didn’t have much to report about it. I drove myself crazy trying to work a new blog template out. I drank too much wine but still wasted the bottle as well *blush* just two glasses makes me loopy. I did my chores, I leveled in World of Warcraft getting my main character to level cap (60).
I spent Sunday dreading coming into work and mentally made a calendar of how many days until 4th of July (16 business days). I’m thinking of taking whatever day is before that off(Monday I think is the 3rd).
I really need to get a job that I enjoy coming to. There are some good things about this job of course. Like: I can post here anytime I want pretty much, I can get a lot of work online done during the day, they’re pretty lax about things, and since I am pretty much the only one who knows computers I can get away with almost anything (though I AM careful). But for all those good points, there are downsides too. I never thought I’d say it, but I’m bored as hell and even have free reign over the internet world is not giving me the satisfaction of a job well done.
My mother never understood that about me. If I am not satisfied in my job, then it doesn’t matter how much I make, I wont want to do it. And the longer this thought process goes on the harder it is for me to get up and come in. It becomes more like pulling teeth everyday then heading to work.
So what’s the problem you ask?
The interviews I’ve been on (few though they are), have been jobs that I’ve been extremely qualified for. In a few cases, I’ve been almost a near perfect fit as far as I knew. One was so good, the company so different than the rest, that I was even considering relocating for it. In my opinion (though I could be wrong), I think I was not hired because of my weight. I’ve been on a thousand interviews in my life (almost literally) and I know the signs, I know what to do, I have no qualms presenting and I do it well. On top of that, I know my shit. I’m professional courteous and talented, but I never get called back. In one case (the latest one in fact), I went through 3 levels of interviews and they LOVED me, they told me so on the phone interviews. I went to the city and met with the president, had a fabulous interview and never heard from them again…EVER.
I’ve considered in light of this and am still considering, relocating out of state in the hopes of being able to get work elsewhere, maybe Illinois is just tapped you know? But since I can’t get a job here with any ease, I would HATE to move out of state, perhaps inconvenience whomever I stay with, uproot my whole life and then not be able to get a job you know?
With that said I have to renew my efforts to lose weight. I try, but motivation is not easy for me. Any emotional baggage or upset can throw my carefully balanced world of emotions out the window. If I feel that I’m taking a backseat to someone else, or not being thought of at all, or just generally wishing I were in a better situation (self defeating attitude I know), it causes me to say “I’m not working out today, it’s not worth it” or to eat more.
I know it may be obvious to some, but I know after some careful deliberation about my issues and concerns in life that 90% of my problem for me is this idea of how disgusting I am, or overweight or not healthy, or not able to succeed in love, work, etc simply because of my weight. Knowing this, I’m arming myself to try and attack this head on… everyday
Everyday I try again… So today, here’s hoping that I can renew and work on my commitment to myself…for myself. I have hope and today I have desire. Maybe they can work hand in hand for once and form a barrier against failure.
*****
WELL WISHES
I wish you all well today. I wish today being Monday would be beautiful and wonderful and NOT like any Monday you’ve ever had.
*****
AND REMEMBER:
(How PERFECT today)
"Your mental attitude will lead you into the light or hold you in darkness. It will lead you to hope or despair, to a glorious success or a miserable failure, and it is entirely within your own power to choose which it shall be." ~Orison Swett Marden, Early 20th Century Success Writer
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To my unborn little girl: My dearest child, I wonder at this very moment what you will be. Will you be a little boy full of dreams and hope...
1 comment:
Hi Ms. Muse,
I am at panera helping hubby look for a job, so this post made sense to me in the fact that job searching is not always fun and you have to go through many interviews to find what you are looking for. I thought I would share some stuff I know. Whether it helps or not - you be the judge. The job market in Chicago has picked up a lot. The job scene is not tapped. Telecom might be a hard gig, as the technology is changing a lot. Can't say one way or another. Both Kyle and I have experienced MANY MANY MANY things, and I highlight this because it is useful information if you are TRULY serious about getting work.
Here goes:
1 if you decide to seriously look for a job, stay in the game for the long haul. Don't quit - keep the momentum going.
2- follow up until you are blue in the face or it's an obvious no. it would be nice if people were curtious about call backs, but they aren't for many reasons. Some are valid, most are not.
3- work with good recruiters and head hunters.
4- post your needs/wants on places like chicwit/yahoo business boards / ryze and all the other networking groups. Don't only post your resume, post a note to the group asking them if they know companies or recruiters who would be interested in your skills and experience. We got a lot of leads that paid off by asking for names and numbers, not just posting resumes and hoping someone would see it. We sought out everything.
5- your resume is everything. it's amazing what works and what doesn't. It's also industry specific. It is clear to me now that we must have different flavors of our resume depending on what job or industry we are looking at. A resume has to speak to the job, title or industry. Hiring Lauren was the best thing we did. She has taught me a lot. I thought I already knew a lot, and I did .. but she taught me at a very high level how to get your resume in tip top shape. If you looked at Kyle's you would see what I mean. Resume's have changed SOOO much. I would be happy to talk to you further about it and share what I know - what was just freshly taught to me. WOW. Neat stuff. If you don't have a good resume, it really gets tossed aside.
6- Do resume's blasts. I can explain that too.
7- look for jobs slightly outside your comfort zone or skill sets. think outside the box. We applied for positions that fit his skills, but were slightly outside his experience work wise, and it led us down some great paths!
8- Take a job that will suit your skill sets, pay range and likability. Don't look at how much time it will afford you to play on line during the day. You might sell yourself short. You are a very experienced person and you deserve the respect and pay, but with that comes the work too. I know your health scares you and you need that flexibility. I bet if you got good health insurance and got the care that you need, your concerns about health won't be as high. Plus you have us *ivas* to help with losing weight. I need to lose at least 75lbs myself!! I know your fears and feelings.
Anyhoo .. moving to get a job may not be necessary. It might look that way to you at the moment because you are not getting call backs. All you might need to do is get "current" with the job market/search and you might find yourself in a great spot to find work. If you want to move because you don't like living in the Chicagoland Metro area, that is one thing, but if you think there isn't work for you .. please reconsider. :) :) :) :) :)
Life at the Hasselbacher's has been fast passed ... we have our hands in many things/projects and we are trying to get organized and keep life moving forward for our family. We have been seeing friends and getting out. We have some great baby sitters now and it's so comforting. Unfortunetly without a steady income, it's hard to spend the money! We have used them a fair bit and it's been nice to get out as well as be with friends. My tummy bothers me still, Bailey seems not so well, and he is going to the vet. Logan is teething and needs some extra care at the moment. Brenna is ok, a tad bored, but ok. We are planning some get away days for the summer. We are camping with Tanya's entire family up near Illinois State Beach. I went up there one time last year for just a day when they were up there camping, and it was so nice. It's near the beach, so there are hardly the same about of bugs. The breeze was also nice too!
ALL in all we are working our asses off and fingers to the bone to keep things stable. We feel scared and wobbly, but we keep hoping that a true effort pays off. Lots more to talk about, but this note is way too long! I guess I could have written email, but I am at Panera. Can't access toehold. sorry! sorry for the typos .. I am typing a mile a minute. lol. Stay healthy and well. You have all the power to get what you want and what you more than deserve. Serve yourself first, put time and energy into you. You can service others later. When you have more of you to give, you will make a greater difference! I learned that myself. I am still giving to me right now and when I choose to get back to the charities I am with .. the programs I voluteer with and the difference I want to make .. it will be on a different level, as I will full and more whole. I know you know.
Smiles!
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