Naivety...

I am so naïve.  I don’t mean this as a slight.  I mean it literally.  I have no concept of the things people can and often do to each other.  Some say this is a good thing as if I’m one of the few people out there who isn’t jaded, etc.  Some say it’s a bad thing because I do not know the things that can be done so I step into things that would otherwise be caught ahead of time.  And always when I’m alerted to the frequency of and acceptance of whatever it is I’ve been enlightened to (because the whole world knows about it and I don’t) what follows is always an “Oh…” almost airhead like from me.

I’ve had a few such moments like those online.  Things where I just have no clue that this “thing” or “behavior” is not only commonplace but also accepted as existing, even though not liked, in our messed up world.  And each time as I’m made aware of these things I’m left with a nagging sentiment “What kind of people are we that we would do these things to others, KNOWINGLY, and CONTINUALLY”.  .  Literally when I am told of such things, I’m left going “People DO that?  Or is that even POSSIBLE?”  I just can’t believe people spend their lives trying to think up ways to hurt another.  If half that energy were spent in the other direction, could you just imagine how much better the world would be?  This goes for all acts of deviant behavior, and I don’t just mean perversion.  This includes situations where people pretend to be something they aren’t (gender, profession or otherwise) because they CAN; or situations where people have it set up to abuse others for any reason.

In one sense I’m glad I can’t think like that, because I fear that if I could I would lose a piece of my soul.  Another step perhaps into darkness or madness because of the sadness I feel when people hurt others.  In another sense I’m so frustrated when I come across this as it bites me in the ass.  

As of this moment I’m glad I don’t think like this.  I hate that I have to apologize to people who were just expressing a situation they had been through to me, because I jumped on them citing they “hurt my feelings”.  I wish I was more sensitive to the fact that I do not know the circumstances that people have been through that might cause them to think a certain thing or express it verbally.  It’s just hard when you have no concept of what is happening to be open to the fact that someone has experienced it already.  Does that make sense?

In any event, this post is a testament to my naivety.  It’s somewhat of an apology to those who I might have been hasty to say “you hurt my feelings” when you were just making sure something you’ve experienced once doesn’t happen again.  

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((On a side note, I stared at this post for about 2 hours before I posted it.  But in trueness to my blog, and to me, I posted it as it reflects awareness and growth.  That’s part of what journey I’m on…))