Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Random Thought: Chocolate covered telephones? O_o (WARNING: Long Post)

Self Care Cards:
Boundaries: Set Boundaries; protect your precious time and energy

Priorities: Get your priorities straight; when you know what’s important, saying no gets much easier.

Peace: Embrace your confusion; Let there be peace in not knowing all the answers

Gifts of the Goddess Cards:
My Willpower is stronger than my bad habits (whoa!); Use this gift when you feel unable to overcome long-held beliefs, habits, or compulsions.  Like affirmations, out habits gain in strength from constant repetition and our belief in their ability to help us cope with life in some way.  They can be dealt with by using this gift and by accepting and loving yourself more and more.

I use criticism only for making things better: Use this gift when you are either the giver or the recipient of criticism that is meant to tear down father than build up.  We must be truthful with ourselves and others.  We cannot improve unless we are able to see what needs improvement.  However, when we forget to turn off our critical faculty, we become someone who is neither happy nor fun to be with.

I am patient in the face of delay and obstacles: Use this gift when you are upset because you or another person is late, stuck in traffic, or when encountering situations that you obviously cannot do anything about at the time.  Patience is a great teacher; a sign of maturity and wisdom.  If approached with calm and patience, difficult situations have a remarkable way of eventually working out.

*****

Ok that’s just too weird that the first card of the day (literally) is a blast from the past.  I’ve been having some issues with my goal lately.  I know I need this one in particular today.  

Today my friend Dana called me at 7:50am.  My first thought is “Oh my god something’s wrong”.  She never calls that early.  As it turns out she was just chatting on her way to an appointment.  The reason I mention it is because Dana and I have this thing that always sends us into gales of laughter.  I’ll try to tell you it today.  Those of you that have kids will understand.

So about 4 years ago (I think), Dana and I are at her old house in Elmhurst.  We’re just sitting down to a light lunch while doing some work on Home Creations.  I still to this day do not recollect what we had but I do remember the rice… Oh yes I remember the rice.  Brenna, Dana’s daughter was very young at this time and just started to eat foods like what we were having (rice).  So Dana proceeds to give her a little tiny bit of it.  No sooner does she, then Brenna starts to choke.  Dana immediately turns into ninja mom, going into strike mode patting Brenna’s back etc.  I’m a little concerned at this point, but not hugely so because Dana isn’t freaking out.  So I just calmly get up and begin to pick up some things (those of you who know me, you know if I get upset, I do what ALL good Virgos do… I clean.) When the patting doesn’t work Dana jumps off the couch we’re sitting on and turns Brenna upside down and starts doing anything to help her (rightfully so!).  But at the sight of this I go into clean sweep mode (because I’m powerless to help either of them!) and start cleaning her whole house.  By the time all the ruckus is over, Brenna is smiling again, Dana is sitting down on the couch breathing heavy and I’ve cleaned the entire lower level of her house! :P.  After a little bit when the trauma was behind us we just burst out laughing and couldn’t stop.

So the big joke is that if ever anything is wrong I start looking to clean something.  

So now today Dana calls me at 7:50 and immediately I think something’s wrong.  Not only do I start cleaning my desk but I tell her “Omg I was like what can I clean!” lol.  

Alright it was funny to me. :P  Just be nice and go along with it you whackos!

*****
Ok so today is Wednesday (HUMP DAY!) and for the first time in a long time I have a very busy couple of days ahead of me!.  Tonight I’m going to Dana’s (no not to clean: P) and we’re going to do some shopping.  Then tomorrow I have to go to my mom’s and give her some computer help, then Friday I have to clean because the installer is coming Saturday to fix my apartment, and then finally on Sunday I can rest: D

It’s a little nice to be busy… a little

*****
Someone on the boards posted a link to a Xanga blog called Wal*Mart Lifer’s blog.  It’s got funny stories in it, daily stories, etc of a wal-mart employee.  I liked it so much I registered for Xanga just so I could post a reply to some of them.  Lo and behold I wake up today and who has registered on the utopia skye forums, but none other than wal*mart lifer herself!  I mean when I signed her blog I mentioned that we had a link to it on the utopia skye forums but I didn’t even provide a hyperlink.  That means she had to look it up to get there and then when she did she registered! Wow, cool!  I hope she enjoys them.  

Speaking of the boards, it has come to my attention recently that some people may not be seeing all the forums they’re supposed to.  IN light of that I think I’m going to have to do a revamp of all the member groups, masks, etc.  This is not a small task.  We have 427 folks on the boards now and there are a TON of groups.  I’ll have to get together with my admins and get this done.  It’s hard enough to get people to go to the boards without prompting anymore; the last thing I want is for them to not even see all the things they should be able to.  

*****
There has been no progress on the job situation.  The latest is that Crony in her good day decided to tell S that I should get paid for the days I missed a few weeks ago.  The result is an extra $200 that will greatly help me.  While I’m happy for this it means as of this moment in time according to S, I already owe those days.  So if I should leave, I will have to either have caught up that time, or I’ll have to pay them back for these days.  Hopefully I won’t have to do either.  I have no prospects for jobs right now either.  I’ve revised my resume so it’s less powerful, but I still don’t even get phone calls!  I have enough of a battle on my hands in that if I DO get a phone call and an interview I have no idea how I’ll get time off work first of all.  But second of all I have to get past the interview and as good a presenter as I am, it seems that this part has become harder for me.  Time alone will tell how this works out.  I do know that I need an 8k increase (approx) in pay to get me back to where I was and that will help me save and pay off bills all at once.

*****
No progress either on my love life.  This is the most lacking part of my life right now.  Some women my age hear their biological clock ticking.  I hear the squeaking of a rusty heart that hasn’t been filled with love for a long time.  I have to be honest and admit being scared to accept a partner in my life again.  But with patience and effort I think that adding another facet of love to my life in a partner who’s supportive and patient will only benefit me.  It may take me away from the online world more, but that’s ok.  Those of my true friends will understand.  I’m ready for this I think even as much as I have to learn yet, I’m ready.  

In light of this I had considered placing a personal ad recently.  I think I made mention of this before.  The scary thing about that is you don’t truly know who you’re talking to.  The thing is, people are so down on the online dating thing, and really you have to be just as careful in real life as you do online.  People get screwed in real life just as bad as they do online.  

I’m very sacred of being taken advantage of.  I’m very scared that the same things that were problems for me before will be problems for me now.  But I’m willing to take some risk.  Maybe with all my prayers and hopes I’ll get lucky and find someone even if they aren’t a life partner, but someone who won’t hurt me.  

Maybe I already have found them…maybe.

*****
Well wishes and love for people.  Never feel upset if I don’t mention you specifically here.  Those of you who read this are in my heart.  I don’t always have to verbally acknowledge you to love you *smile*

To Beth: May today bring you bright joy and immense strength.  Remember, every time I see your picture I’m filled with feelings of joy at how beautiful you are.  You might say I’m biased, but I’m ok with that.  You’re beautiful and deserving of all that life has to give.  

To Dana: Thanks for the morning laugh, I needed it.  I look forward to tonight, but in the meantime may you have a day of less stress, more joy, and some peace.

To Kyle:  I know you always read my blogs, and believe it or not I do read yours: P. May you have a day filled with the joyous tech calls that we all love to read.  By the way… are you gay?  :P

To Kami:  I know we haven’t had a chance to talk in a bit.  I love you everyday and send you good thoughts all day long in the hopes that they reach you when you need them.  

To Mr. Quiet Strength: Your decision is a tough one lately, but you will do the right thing.  Put it out of your mind.  You’ve laid out the choices that have to be made, now let things fall in place as they’re meant to be.  The answer will come.

To Mr. Uber: I send you thoughts of wellness today as I know you’re still not feeling good.  If I were there I’d give you a big hug and force a whole gallon of chicken soup down your throat: P so maybe it’s good I’m NOT there lol.  

To Aussie_male: I send you today thoughts of prosperity.  I know the business you’re undertaking can seem overwhelming, but I know you can do it, as you know this too.  

To Mom: Today I send you love as I do everyday.

To anyone else reading this that I may or may not know:  Today I send you all the joy that life can send.  It may mean nothing to you but it means everything to me.  

*****

Random Poetry coming atcha…

(I have not had inspiration in some time so I’m afraid I can’t do this today)

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I love you I love you I love you [:. Thank you Cal >:D<. I think about you everyday as well, I'm happy to see that you're doing good :D. Loooove you. and on your not-so-busy Sunday, I wanna see you :D.

<3 kami

Anonymous said...

Cal, thanks for your supportive comment re my business venture. As it builds, the gains will be fed back into the community as I see myself as just a caretaker of money. Its not mine, I just look after it while its in my wallet awaiting for someone else to make a better life with it. Have a wonderful day.
Aussie_Male

This is 47

In my acquired wisdom I've accepted: 1. That it's OK to admit I like girly things 2. That it's OK I didn't post this ON...