The journey begins right here. In the middle of the road. Right beneath your feet. This is the place. There is no other place. There is no other time. ~David Whyte
*****
My mind is embroiled with the issues of indecision today; so much so that I lack the ability to write anything worth posting. However I did come across this little article that I absolutely loved and thought I’d pass on to you.
It’s bizarre to need advice and not have a voice to speak about what you need advice about. It’s like writers block yet more like prison.
I hope you are all well today, and that your Monday is beautiful.
Xo
*****
The Power of Listening - A True Story
Adapted from Attracting Genuine Love, by Drs. Kathlyn and Gay Hendricks (Sounds True, 2004).
Simple Solution
A friend of the authors was going to a party where he would be meeting his wife’s coworkers from her new job for the first time. He felt anxious as the time for the party grew near, and wondered whether they would like him or not. He rehearsed various scenarios in his mind in which he tried in different ways to impress them. He grew more and more tense.
But on the way to the party, the man came up with a radically different approach, one which caused all of his anxiety to melt completely away. Find out what he decided to do, and how it all turned out, in this true story that could serve as inspiration for us all:
He decided that, instead of trying to impress anyone, he would spend the evening simply listening to them and summarizing what they had just said. At the party, he spent the evening listening carefully to everyone, responding with phrases like, "I understand what you’re saying, you feel strongly that. . ." and "Let me see if I understand what you mean. . ." He also avoided voicing his own opinions, even though at times it meant biting his tongue to keep from doing so.
To his amazement, he discovered that no one noticed or remarked on the fact that he was just listening. Each person he talked to during the evening seemed content to be listened to without interruption. On the way home, his wife (whom he had not told about the experiment) told him that a number of people had made a point of telling her what a remarkable person he was. The word "charismatic" was used by one person to describe him, while another said he was one of the most "articulate" people she had ever met.
Could it be that charisma and brilliance have as much to do with how we listen as what we say? Imagine a world where people actually listen to one another, rather than just waiting for the other people to stop talking so they can give their opinion.
*****
(added after original posting)
(It seems I do not have writers block when it comes to fiction, only when it comes to things I have to deal with personally. So I’m just listing some of the things I’ve been mulling about in my head in an effort to keep creativity going.)
A last glance backwards revealed my home back in its pristine state having suffered the terrors of a houseguest for a few days. On the edges of my vision a foreshadowing danced taunting me. Some how I knew that while I longed for this quietness again, I knew the incessant stirrings of loneliness would come again. Stepping over the threshold to begin my day I tried to turn off the thoughts of a loneliness so deep that an empty house resonates with it’s sounds like an echo on an empty cavern wall.
Marching through my day, well… not marching more like struggling, begging, pleading for release from the tedium I somehow made it to the end of the day. Though I was hardly the champion runner, breathing deep with the strains of exertion on a well earned reward. Instead I was the quiet one off to the side, hoping to slink out unnoticed before someone else caught me for some more mundane work. “You there, sharpen those pencils!”. I shudder to think of it.
The velvet green cushions hold me closer than any lover has had and I might add with just as much (Or perhaps more) gentleness. But even the grasp of the couch while soft against my rear, did nothing to soothe the emptiness I felt. So, I made friends with a rather exotic spicy thing, with a very strange name of Fat Bastard in an effort to stave off the pangs of loneliness that were becoming customary once again. Swishing the wine I wondered what it was about the empty apartment that made me feel so hollow. My new friend Fat Bastard helped ease me to understanding sweetly, when after a few more glasses I realized… it wasn’t the apartment it was the emptiness in my heart. Mr. Fat Bastard as I was calling him, having earned the title of Mr. by helping me sort through my feelings, let me in on a little secret. The secret of an empty heart. It speaks to itself waiting, hoping for an answer. And each time as Mr. Fat Bastard explained, it hopes… The bright glimmer is there, and in some such cases, it thinks to be the beacon of the lighthouse. But as he whispered to me gently urging me to another drink “All is not what it seems”. Soon Mr. Fat Bastard showed me the way to numbness and offered me the quiet darkness of sleep.
All around the apartment digital lights glowed, clocks marched time on ushering in another day, and unnoticed on the couch I slept with only the moon and Mr. Fat Bastard to watch over me.
©SKW
Monday, July 10, 2006
Sunday, July 09, 2006
Saturday 7-8-06; **SPECIAL POST**
(I ask a favor when you read this. Clear your desk of whatever clutter is right around you. Close your chat windows, hang up your phones. Take a moment before you read this and breathe deep... Put on some soft music if you must, but take a moment and set the tone for something different. If you absolutely cannot do that, then at least read this thinking of they way it is I do things... Set your mind to run on a differnt track for a little bit and really read with your heart. This is raw, unedited and directly from my inspiration AS IT was given to me. Some of you may scoff and while that stings, it's ok, I understand. But for even just one of you to be able to really read this and see like I did... well that's the magic. I hope it touches you like it did to me tonight and I hope my sharing with you causes you to want to pass it on. This will remain up through Monday. Enjoy....)
In some moments we are afforded a vision, the clearest insight that shows us truth. Sometimes it's people, places, or sometimes just a feeling. but they're there. If we listen.
I have no clue what my purpose is, but I know I touch people. I know this because everyone affects each other. In my life I know this clearly, from a few special souls. And then when I forget again, I know this because a song sweeps my heart away. And then when I forget, a sunset so rich and vibrant such as I've never seen before appears when it is particularly dark, brightening my eyesight and lighting my way. I know this tonight as I sit here having watched a movie that most would call "Feel Good" and pass it off as sentimental, but that had a profound affect on me.
After this movie, with perfect clarity I looked at my houseguest who had no clue what was going on... and suddenly I knew him more than I knew anyone. And all the people I've talked to, or been a part of the life of, or simply shared times with no matter how small, passed before my eyes. And I wondered and understood, at the edge of my ability to do so, how each life touches each other and the other affects the next; and I felt so small, so humble, and so powerful. Rambling on in my mind, in thoughts, I wrote compelled to do so immediately. Words have failed me many times when trying to "tell" you of this clarity that comes upon us only once in a while. But right now, they're here and they're infused with my spirit... right now.
If you just look with your eyes closed, listen when there is no sound, speak with the language of the soul, and feel the breeze swaying in your heart, you can for a moment hold this vision close, and bliss closer. When you do this breathe deep of the fresh air of inspiration, enjoy the scent... because it will go away.
But the beauty of that, is that it WILL return... if you let it.
I have a hug to give to my houseguest now. Who will have no clue why I'm doing that, but in a few seconds will let his heart be open and for just a second, a tiny glimmer of what I see will be passed and be waiting for him when and if he ever needs it.
THAT is what we do...because THAT is what we're all about.
xo
(read more, see more if you wish) http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0400435/
Friday, July 07, 2006
One Second, Please :)
*****
That’s all the quote I need to have today. What gorgeous vision! Click the link to view the words and the picture. Both are LOVELY
I wanted to make sure that today above all else I said a special thank you to those who posted in the post about Mrs. B in AZ’s freedom. I was so happy to see the replies. It’s very rare that I ever ask for people to comment, but knowing that people would is very nice especially in the spirit of helping another feel good (and in most cases, a person some of you have never met). Thank you for making her day and mine.
I just came across another fabulous quote and have to post it:
That’s all the quote I need to have today. What gorgeous vision! Click the link to view the words and the picture. Both are LOVELY
I wanted to make sure that today above all else I said a special thank you to those who posted in the post about Mrs. B in AZ’s freedom. I was so happy to see the replies. It’s very rare that I ever ask for people to comment, but knowing that people would is very nice especially in the spirit of helping another feel good (and in most cases, a person some of you have never met). Thank you for making her day and mine.
I just came across another fabulous quote and have to post it:
"God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say 'thank you'?" ~ William Arthur Ward
If you can't think of anything you're thankful for, then stop what you're doing for one second, take a deep breath and relax. Congratulations. You now have a reason to give thanks.
Kate Nowak; One Million Blessings
Thank you for the emails I received yesterday about my post. I think it’s a good thing when people can realize they’re shortcomings and/or mistakes and learn from them. Hopefully I will continue to learn from my mistakes and be able to truly be a person that helps others by helping myself too.
I am tired today. I slept a little less than normal but not so less that I’m exhausted. I think though that the quality of my sleep is the problem. I don’t know if it’s the new air conditioner? Though, they’re less loud than the old ones, because I have a remote for them (YES the ultimate in laziness, remote controlled A/C!) I find throughout the night I turn it off and then when I get hot I turn it back on. Both things require me to be semi awake so my sleep is interrupted. *shrug* Who knows…
Today’s Digital Soup Online; the Blog entry is pretty good. It’s about fear of the future. I have had many experiences with that. Give it a look see, it’s worth it.
I also have been feeling the creative juices again that are responsible for a lot of the creative things you see in my life. I’m already working on a book with two other authors, but I’ve been a bit stagnant in that since I’m in an area that I can’t quite figure out how to write the chapter for… But I want to DO something creative (I think that will help me with my writers block too).
Any ideas? Maybe a collaborative blog on something that would be written specifically to be published? Any takers? Blog dog? Jules? Mrs. Virgo? Anyone? Maybe a Digital Soup Newsletter or Calendar? Or just another love letter in my series? I just know that I feel the creative juices and have for a few days and like a pot of water boiling without attendance soon enough these creative energies will boil away to nothing.
Anyway, I don’t really have much to talk about today (at least not yet… could be that I have not had ANY caffeine yet :P) so I’ll sign off for now with a blessing and well wish to everyone:
May you be blessed today with a hug felt in your heart by me and anyone else you know who’s in your life. May you see the sun even if it’s cloudy and may it brighten your day. May your lemonade stand be in full working order to make the perfect lemonade if life throws you some lemons and may you know only the highs of joy today and not the lows of darkness. This is my sincere wish for you ALL today.
XO
(Special thanks for reading my blog, as much as I post for my own therapy… I post for those who like to read it too.)
*****
DAILY MEDITATION - Provided Courtesy of Renaissance Unity
Friday, July 7, 2006 – Beyond Appearances
"What if you, like the Buddha Siddhartha, suddenly realized that the whole world you'd invested in was no more than a lovely theatrical stage meant to distract your from true life? What then? Would you, like Jim Carey in 'The Truman Show; have the courage to walk off the set? Or like Keanu Reeves in 'The Matrix' swallow the blue pill?"
--Regina Sara Ryan Quote is taken from page 83 of: Praying Dangerously, Radical Reliance on God
Today's Affirmation
I am not afraid to see the truth of my life or my world.
Today's Meditation
Dear Creator,
I desire to see all things as You see them.
Lift me beyond my ideas, attachments, projections and fears.
I realize that, at times, I have formed a picture of how I want things to appear.
When I am overly invested in my view, I have missed Your Truth.
Open my eyes that I might see and my ears that I might hear.
Instead of losing myself in illusion, help me find myself in You.
Thank You.
*****
AND REMEMBER:
This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of Nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.
*****
AND REMEMBER:
This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of Nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.
Thursday, July 06, 2006
Self Worth
This came in my email this afternoon. I felt it perfect to go in my personal blog today. Enjoy!
Today's Quote:
May we open to a deeper understanding and genuine love and caring for the multitude of faces, who are none other than ourself. ~Wendy Egyoku Nakao
*****
Your Innate Value
Worth
Though much of who and what we are changes as we journey through life, our inherent worth remains constant. While the term self-worth is often used interchangeably with self-esteem, the two qualities are inherently different. Self-esteem is the measure of how you feel about yourself at a given moment in time. Your worth, however, is not a product of your intelligence, your talent, your looks, your good works, or how much you have accomplished. Rather it is immeasurable and unchanging manifestation of your eternal and infinite oneness with the universe. It represents the cornerstone of the dual foundations of optimism and self-belief. Your worth cannot be taken from you or damaged by life's rigors, yet it can easily be forgotten or even actively ignored. By regularly acknowledging your self-worth, you can ensure that you never forget what an important, beloved, and special part of the universe you are.
You are born worthy-your worth is intertwined with your very being. Your concept of your own self-worth is thus reinforced by your actions. Each time you endeavor to appreciate yourself, treat yourself kindly, define your personal boundaries, be proactive in seeing that your needs are met, and broaden your horizons, you express your recognition of your innate value. During those periods when you have lost sight of your worth, you will likely feel mired in depression, insecurity, and a lack of confidence. You'll pursue a counterfeit worth based on judgment rather than the beauty that resides within. When you feel worthy, however, you will accept yourself without hesitation. It is your worth as an individual who is simultaneously interconnected with all living beings that allows you to be happy, confident, and motivated. Because your conception of your worth is not based on the fulfillment of expectations, you'll see your mistakes and failures as just another part of life's journey.
Human beings are very much like drops of water in an endless ocean. Our worth comes from our role as distinct individuals as well as our role as an integral part of something larger than ourselves. Simply awakening to this concept can help you rediscover the copious and awe-inspiring worth within each and every one of us.
Courtesy of DailyOm
Today's Quote:
May we open to a deeper understanding and genuine love and caring for the multitude of faces, who are none other than ourself. ~Wendy Egyoku Nakao
*****
Your Innate Value
Worth
Though much of who and what we are changes as we journey through life, our inherent worth remains constant. While the term self-worth is often used interchangeably with self-esteem, the two qualities are inherently different. Self-esteem is the measure of how you feel about yourself at a given moment in time. Your worth, however, is not a product of your intelligence, your talent, your looks, your good works, or how much you have accomplished. Rather it is immeasurable and unchanging manifestation of your eternal and infinite oneness with the universe. It represents the cornerstone of the dual foundations of optimism and self-belief. Your worth cannot be taken from you or damaged by life's rigors, yet it can easily be forgotten or even actively ignored. By regularly acknowledging your self-worth, you can ensure that you never forget what an important, beloved, and special part of the universe you are.
You are born worthy-your worth is intertwined with your very being. Your concept of your own self-worth is thus reinforced by your actions. Each time you endeavor to appreciate yourself, treat yourself kindly, define your personal boundaries, be proactive in seeing that your needs are met, and broaden your horizons, you express your recognition of your innate value. During those periods when you have lost sight of your worth, you will likely feel mired in depression, insecurity, and a lack of confidence. You'll pursue a counterfeit worth based on judgment rather than the beauty that resides within. When you feel worthy, however, you will accept yourself without hesitation. It is your worth as an individual who is simultaneously interconnected with all living beings that allows you to be happy, confident, and motivated. Because your conception of your worth is not based on the fulfillment of expectations, you'll see your mistakes and failures as just another part of life's journey.
Human beings are very much like drops of water in an endless ocean. Our worth comes from our role as distinct individuals as well as our role as an integral part of something larger than ourselves. Simply awakening to this concept can help you rediscover the copious and awe-inspiring worth within each and every one of us.
Courtesy of DailyOm
I'm such a vengeful nasty bitch...
I know that’s a bit harsh but sometimes it’s true.
Though I have to say I’m only like that when I’m hurt. It’s not like I sit around and think up ways to be a bitch to people. Let me explain:
Take for instance the person that hurt me years ago… online. Only a few short months ago was the first time that I was finally able to even speak to her. It was guarded conversation, but conversation nonetheless. It took me two years not to hiss and spit venom at the mere mention of her name.
Or for instance the person that as recent as November last year hurt me online. Just a few weeks ago in email we had some conversations and I’m not proud to say that the way I spoke is not very muse-like. In fact, I was downright nasty. I'm not happy for that anger, however, it took those emails to finally get rid of the poison I felt churning in my heart when I thought of what had transpired between two friends.
Or here’s another example of two different points of view (again online). The person that says one thing, and believes it, but their version of this “one thing” is different than my version of it, even though it’s called the same thing. Even knowing, discovering or hell maybe even just waking up to the truth of it now, still leaves me with such hurt, and anger that more often than not I’m a raving psycho dwelling in the deep sewer of anger instead of in the lake of tranquility knowing where things stand. I mean knowing is half the battle right? Why then is that not enough for me to let go?
I learned when I was a child, how to lash out like a caged tiger when I’m hurt. Granted it takes a lot to get there. And further more, you have to be DEEP in my heart to fill me with poison, anger, upset that these three examples speak of. But if that’s the case, and I begin to hurt… look out. I can be the nastiest bitch you’ve ever seen. And I’ll smile when I speak the words too.
I am not in anyway shape or form condoning the actions of those who have hurt me. Even if the hurt is felt more strongly on my side; even if it is perceived to be a small thing and yet I feel it in a large way… it is still hurt that was given to me.
But while I’ll fully pass blame where it needs to be, I also need to take blame too and admit I am also not condoning my own words.
I used to be able to walk away from things without a second glance back.
For example, I dated a man once when I was oh 16, 17 or so… When he found out that I wouldn’t immediately lay down and allow him to have his way with me, he decided he needed to move on. He didn’t however let me in on this secret until finally I had as it happens been in his neighborhood. I stopped by his house where I made him tell me to my face just how shallow he was. When he admitted it, I told him that some things in life are worth everything, and he just passed up the best thing that ever happened to him. Then I smiled at him, waved and left without a second glance back.
Where is this woman of strength now?
I have no clue what any of this blog entry will do other than allow me to continue to be truthful to the fact that I am human and I have promised to chronicle it all in this blog. I may never change. I may always have these tendencies to hurt so deeply that it takes years to recover. But at least I’m not holier than thou (so to speak) to say I’m not at fault.
To those who have hurt me where I in turn have lashed out to them. You have hurt me…. YOU have hurt me, but *I* am sorry too for hurting you as well…Truly (This goes for people I’ve hurt that aren’t listed here either)
Everyday I endeavor to be better than the anger I learned to use as a weapon at the tender age of 4. It’s sometimes a true struggle, especially when I’m hurt, but I do try. That’s worth something.
So today’s blog is a letting go. It’s a letting go specifically to the three people/instances where I’ve held onto this hurt. The first two will be easier to let go than the third. But I will try to let the hurt and anger go for all of them just the same. I hate carrying it around in me.
For the first two people, even though I'll admit to my wrongdoing, because the hurt was done in my heart, it will be a very long time before trust can be had again. But over time who knows where life leads us... For the third person, well...we still have a long road ahead of us. I have no idea where it leads either; But I renew my effort today to try and let the upset, anger, and hurt go. No matter how I have to do it, I will try…
So readers of my drudgery as I let you in even anonymously to my life, I ask you all to take a second if you’re reading this and even give a small shit about me to send me some strength. So that I can open my heart to others like I try to do everyday, and yet keep it guarded enough that I do not ever feel the sting of poison as a permanent resident in my heart. You don’t even have to respond to this post…just send me your version of strength and maybe I’ll be able to do this thing…for myself.
And as for a blessing today or well wishes, I hope you all can manage your anger, learn to never live with regret, and be blessed anytime you reach out to help someone even anonymously.
XO
Though I have to say I’m only like that when I’m hurt. It’s not like I sit around and think up ways to be a bitch to people. Let me explain:
Take for instance the person that hurt me years ago… online. Only a few short months ago was the first time that I was finally able to even speak to her. It was guarded conversation, but conversation nonetheless. It took me two years not to hiss and spit venom at the mere mention of her name.
Or for instance the person that as recent as November last year hurt me online. Just a few weeks ago in email we had some conversations and I’m not proud to say that the way I spoke is not very muse-like. In fact, I was downright nasty. I'm not happy for that anger, however, it took those emails to finally get rid of the poison I felt churning in my heart when I thought of what had transpired between two friends.
Or here’s another example of two different points of view (again online). The person that says one thing, and believes it, but their version of this “one thing” is different than my version of it, even though it’s called the same thing. Even knowing, discovering or hell maybe even just waking up to the truth of it now, still leaves me with such hurt, and anger that more often than not I’m a raving psycho dwelling in the deep sewer of anger instead of in the lake of tranquility knowing where things stand. I mean knowing is half the battle right? Why then is that not enough for me to let go?
I learned when I was a child, how to lash out like a caged tiger when I’m hurt. Granted it takes a lot to get there. And further more, you have to be DEEP in my heart to fill me with poison, anger, upset that these three examples speak of. But if that’s the case, and I begin to hurt… look out. I can be the nastiest bitch you’ve ever seen. And I’ll smile when I speak the words too.
I am not in anyway shape or form condoning the actions of those who have hurt me. Even if the hurt is felt more strongly on my side; even if it is perceived to be a small thing and yet I feel it in a large way… it is still hurt that was given to me.
But while I’ll fully pass blame where it needs to be, I also need to take blame too and admit I am also not condoning my own words.
I was wrong, I was hurtful, and I am sorry for that hurt.
I used to be able to walk away from things without a second glance back.
For example, I dated a man once when I was oh 16, 17 or so… When he found out that I wouldn’t immediately lay down and allow him to have his way with me, he decided he needed to move on. He didn’t however let me in on this secret until finally I had as it happens been in his neighborhood. I stopped by his house where I made him tell me to my face just how shallow he was. When he admitted it, I told him that some things in life are worth everything, and he just passed up the best thing that ever happened to him. Then I smiled at him, waved and left without a second glance back.
Where is this woman of strength now?
I have no clue what any of this blog entry will do other than allow me to continue to be truthful to the fact that I am human and I have promised to chronicle it all in this blog. I may never change. I may always have these tendencies to hurt so deeply that it takes years to recover. But at least I’m not holier than thou (so to speak) to say I’m not at fault.
To those who have hurt me where I in turn have lashed out to them. You have hurt me…. YOU have hurt me, but *I* am sorry too for hurting you as well…Truly (This goes for people I’ve hurt that aren’t listed here either)
Everyday I endeavor to be better than the anger I learned to use as a weapon at the tender age of 4. It’s sometimes a true struggle, especially when I’m hurt, but I do try. That’s worth something.
So today’s blog is a letting go. It’s a letting go specifically to the three people/instances where I’ve held onto this hurt. The first two will be easier to let go than the third. But I will try to let the hurt and anger go for all of them just the same. I hate carrying it around in me.
For the first two people, even though I'll admit to my wrongdoing, because the hurt was done in my heart, it will be a very long time before trust can be had again. But over time who knows where life leads us... For the third person, well...we still have a long road ahead of us. I have no idea where it leads either; But I renew my effort today to try and let the upset, anger, and hurt go. No matter how I have to do it, I will try…
So readers of my drudgery as I let you in even anonymously to my life, I ask you all to take a second if you’re reading this and even give a small shit about me to send me some strength. So that I can open my heart to others like I try to do everyday, and yet keep it guarded enough that I do not ever feel the sting of poison as a permanent resident in my heart. You don’t even have to respond to this post…just send me your version of strength and maybe I’ll be able to do this thing…for myself.
And as for a blessing today or well wishes, I hope you all can manage your anger, learn to never live with regret, and be blessed anytime you reach out to help someone even anonymously.
XO
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Epiphany and thanks...
Prayer for fitness motivation
Beloved Creator,
Please help me to be motivated to take good care of my body. I ask your help in carrying through in my commitment to exercise, eat healthfully and get sufficient rest. Please help me have faith in my ability to attain and maintain physical fitness. Please guide me to know the best ways to take care of myself. If my motivation slackens or i am tempted to procrastinate, please help me reaffirm my resolve. Thank you and amen.
"The real voyage of discovery consists of not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes."~Marcel Proust
"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world the master calls a butterfly." ~Richard Bach, American Author
No matter what might be happening in your life right now, take a deep breath, relax and let your thoughts be still. Just as darkness gives way to dawn, so does despair create a new beginning. Never allow yourself to forget that it is from the darkest moment of the night that each new sunrise is born.
*****
Well this nice long weekend was just what I needed. It was full of both highs and lows and for once the highs outweighed the lows. It was a good weekend.
This weekend saw the re-emergence of my radio station Utopia Skye. While there is no set schedule if you have yahoo instant messenger or xfire, and you add me (suekw71 for YIM and Caliope on X-Fire) you’ll see when I go live. It’s a fun time no matter if you’re in game or not. When I’m “on” my game, the show kicks some major ass.
The weekend also saw a great party had on July 4th at my house. The fireworks were awesome! It’s the first time since I moved in there that I’ve been on the deck watching the fireworks. We had 4 people on the deck standing watching going “oooh” “ahhh”. You have to understand the fireworks are LITERALLY across the street from my house. They go off literally right above your head.
The interesting thing I felt last night was a sense of amazement kind of like when I was a child. As each new flower of fireworks exploded blossoming right over me,, my eyes widened and several times I would point and say “ooh look!” as if anyone near me didn’t already see it. I was amazed at just how much I enjoyed the show and when I said as much Mr. S mentioned, perhaps it’s the company this year that makes it special. I think he was right. The night was full of the close comfortable-ness of friends, family and new friends. Everyone got along even though they just met that night. There was no awkwardness, just a comfortable zone that everyone faded in and out of depending on what they were doing.
The best part was in the middle of the fireworks show I had what I can only say was an epiphany of sorts. As I watched the fireworks I understood the celebration of freedom. For a very sweet second or two I felt that not only did I understand that, but I could also attribute that to my life too. It almost felt as if the bad karma that I had around my neck like a dog collar was finally unclasped. Those that know me know what I mean… I was glad for the lights that lit up my eyes and sparked my heart. The earlier portion of the day hadn’t been so good, so this snippet of beauty and freedom was a feeling I latched onto and held close.
It was also lovely when all was cleaned up, all was said and done, to have someone there to wish me a good night. For the first time after everyone left, my private sanctuary was an empty castle that echoed my loneliness. It was a beautiful thing to experience again…
Thank you to all who came and made the night special. It’s not a 4th of July that I’ll soon forget.
*****
DAILY INSPIRATIONS
Check out Digital Soup Online; the Blog. There’s plenty of light there for you!
*****
BLESSINGS AND WELL WISHES
Today I offer a prayer for all of you. I do not normally take this public blog into the realms of religion preferring to keep everything neutral for everyone… but today a prayer of general well being is my blessing for you because as these words are spoken, as they are ushered out of my heart, they are magic… hoping to bring you whatever it is you need.
May you be healed
May you be free of suffering
May you be at peace
I ask this in the name of your highest good.
Thy will be done.
XO
*****
AND REMEMBER
Music is well said to be the speech of angels; in fact, nothing among the utterances allowed to man is felt to be so divine. It brings us near to the infinite.
~Thomas Carlyle
Beloved Creator,
Please help me to be motivated to take good care of my body. I ask your help in carrying through in my commitment to exercise, eat healthfully and get sufficient rest. Please help me have faith in my ability to attain and maintain physical fitness. Please guide me to know the best ways to take care of myself. If my motivation slackens or i am tempted to procrastinate, please help me reaffirm my resolve. Thank you and amen.
"The real voyage of discovery consists of not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes."~Marcel Proust
"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world the master calls a butterfly." ~Richard Bach, American Author
No matter what might be happening in your life right now, take a deep breath, relax and let your thoughts be still. Just as darkness gives way to dawn, so does despair create a new beginning. Never allow yourself to forget that it is from the darkest moment of the night that each new sunrise is born.
*****
Well this nice long weekend was just what I needed. It was full of both highs and lows and for once the highs outweighed the lows. It was a good weekend.
This weekend saw the re-emergence of my radio station Utopia Skye. While there is no set schedule if you have yahoo instant messenger or xfire, and you add me (suekw71 for YIM and Caliope on X-Fire) you’ll see when I go live. It’s a fun time no matter if you’re in game or not. When I’m “on” my game, the show kicks some major ass.
The weekend also saw a great party had on July 4th at my house. The fireworks were awesome! It’s the first time since I moved in there that I’ve been on the deck watching the fireworks. We had 4 people on the deck standing watching going “oooh” “ahhh”. You have to understand the fireworks are LITERALLY across the street from my house. They go off literally right above your head.
The interesting thing I felt last night was a sense of amazement kind of like when I was a child. As each new flower of fireworks exploded blossoming right over me,, my eyes widened and several times I would point and say “ooh look!” as if anyone near me didn’t already see it. I was amazed at just how much I enjoyed the show and when I said as much Mr. S mentioned, perhaps it’s the company this year that makes it special. I think he was right. The night was full of the close comfortable-ness of friends, family and new friends. Everyone got along even though they just met that night. There was no awkwardness, just a comfortable zone that everyone faded in and out of depending on what they were doing.
The best part was in the middle of the fireworks show I had what I can only say was an epiphany of sorts. As I watched the fireworks I understood the celebration of freedom. For a very sweet second or two I felt that not only did I understand that, but I could also attribute that to my life too. It almost felt as if the bad karma that I had around my neck like a dog collar was finally unclasped. Those that know me know what I mean… I was glad for the lights that lit up my eyes and sparked my heart. The earlier portion of the day hadn’t been so good, so this snippet of beauty and freedom was a feeling I latched onto and held close.
It was also lovely when all was cleaned up, all was said and done, to have someone there to wish me a good night. For the first time after everyone left, my private sanctuary was an empty castle that echoed my loneliness. It was a beautiful thing to experience again…
Thank you to all who came and made the night special. It’s not a 4th of July that I’ll soon forget.
*****
DAILY INSPIRATIONS
Check out Digital Soup Online; the Blog. There’s plenty of light there for you!
*****
BLESSINGS AND WELL WISHES
Today I offer a prayer for all of you. I do not normally take this public blog into the realms of religion preferring to keep everything neutral for everyone… but today a prayer of general well being is my blessing for you because as these words are spoken, as they are ushered out of my heart, they are magic… hoping to bring you whatever it is you need.
May you be healed
May you be free of suffering
May you be at peace
I ask this in the name of your highest good.
Thy will be done.
XO
*****
AND REMEMBER
Music is well said to be the speech of angels; in fact, nothing among the utterances allowed to man is felt to be so divine. It brings us near to the infinite.
~Thomas Carlyle
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
The illusion of Love
The illusion of love
Far away, so close
Dances in front of me
As the butterfly in joy
Smoky mysticism
Swirling about
Tempting, sensuous
Scary
Surface shines
Moonlight reflecting
Depths of my eyes deep in the soul
The single rose
Heart red
Floats on the surface
Of the black mirror
Which reflects the images
Of two
Of love
Th ultimate illusion…
©SKW 2004
Revised:
The illusion of love skates upon the mirror of my heart
Tempting sweetly whispering
The mask I hold tight only occasionally slips
In between moments of dreams
Hold it firm, don't let it fail
The truth so hard to bear helps hold the mask in place
But it's chipped, right near my eyes
It's worn thin where reality constantly pounds on it
Still smiling, in love feeling... warmth
But dropped, the mask shatters just like I knew it would
leaving me empty
the mirror of my heart in itself the illusion
Reflected, darkness refracted, broken angles
The illusion of love
The ridiculous & empty show;
The farce I held dear
I should go...
But instead with loving care
I tape together the pieces of my mask
So like the phantom I too can live in my illusion
The image is prettier there...
©SKW 2006
Friday, June 30, 2006
A hard won battle. PLEASE share some love for Mrs. B
Independance even back when it meant something for all of humanity was a hard won battle. This is no truer than today for Mrs. B in AZ.
Mrs. B in AZ is a very close friend of mine. Yesterday she won her independance. This battle has been a LONG time in coming and today as I heard in her voice, the excitement and happiness is there....
Congratulations Mrs. B in AZ. You DESERVE this!
Many XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX and even more love to you Mrs. B!!
Now go do something for YOURSELF. I mean it!!!!
Please, celebrate with Mrs. B in AZ the fact that she has reclaimed her life. Wish her well, please... it only takes a minute and will make me and Mrs. B VERY happy :)
The concert will begin in 3 minutes...
Breathing shallow trying to be calm I look at the wooden floor of the stage. The heavy curtain of deep red moves to an unseen breeze stirring the dust from the floor. Behind me the musicians prep their papers, instruments in a hushed anticipation. I straighten my gown of spun gold, and smooth my brown hair even straighter, tucking an errant piece behind my ear. The audience chatters lightly to themselves, a laugh is heard and arm brushed by another is seen through the tiny gap in the curtain behind which I wait...
The lights do their dance of light to dark, telling the listeners the time has begun. As night overtakes day the whispers die down in the descending blackness of the room. Violins strike their single melody, holding, straining. Followed by various other instruments in a timeless melody, the music begins. And in that single moment before the curtain begins to open the air becomes charged. Charged with my fear, my excitement, my energy and the eyes of a thousand people all straining to see... me.
This is my stage and today I am the performer extraordinaire. And I will sing... I will sing so loud that God himself will look down, a tear in his eye in wonderment of the souls expression. I will feel the air course through my lungs filling me, awakening every fiber of my being. I will be both the artist and the work of art carefully crafted, lovingly displayed with such a spectacular hauntingly beautiful display that no museum can ever reproduce.
And when the first note seeks to exit my throat, I realize... THIS is where I should be. Right here... where I am free.
©SKW
*****
This mornings car ride was peppered with the enthusiasm of the fact that it's Friday and I'm off until Wednesday after today. YAY! The music was mystical transporting me to the stage again where once there I felt like I had in my teenage years where I understood EXACTLY why the radio needed to be so loud the world could hear it. As I turned the songs up louder today telling the world that I WAS HERE, I began to sing and this mornings' ride became one of magic instead of the mundane.
I love to sing. I sing all the time. Strangely enough though, I do not sing in the shower lol. But I sing everywhere else. I sing when I'm on the phone with people, I even sang on air when I owned my internet radio station. I sing when I clean I sing when I cook... But there is no singing quite like the concert I put on in my car.
The minute those doors close and after the silence settles around me, no matter if i'm going 5 minutes or 50 minutes I am on stage in my mind. And damn if I can't sing just as good as Mariah Scary oops I mean Cary ;) I can sing Green Day like no one's business, or JLo as if I had been duetting with her from the start. I can sing most artists, and as long as the song moves me I will sing it.
And if I don't know the words well I will make them up as I go along. I have no fear of sounding stupid... I'm the artist when I'm singing! ;)
Today I sang on the way to work, I finally got some sleep last night, and now i'm smiling. All is well with the world.
*****
WELL WISHES
May you sing with joy today even if only in your heart. May it set you free to soar to great heights and bring you much happiness. And if you can't sing if your spirit is down, then I'll sing for you because today I have enough to give :)
XO
*****
AND REMEMBER:
He who sings frightens away his ills.
Author: Cervantes (Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra)Source: Don Quixote (I, 22)
Thursday, June 29, 2006
I'm a GHETTO FABULOUS DIVA MUSE!
I'd like to thank Blog Dog for this link (supplied eons ago to us readers on his site, that I just remembered about today :D) that caused me to spit my soda onto my monitor at work. It's been a long time since I've felt the burning tingling of a well had laugh :P
And now, onto my GHETTO FABULOUSNESS!!!
Warning: Not for the faint of heart... Or for those of virgin ears... or for those with small animals... or for those with Puritan views... or for those who live in a bubble... or for those who don't absolutely think (or know) that I am the bomb!
And yes, I've had too much caffeine/sugar and am very slap happy right now. Maybe I should have wine too? How much can the muse take?!
Signing off before I make a total moron of myself :P
Ciao Ghetto Fabulous Muse-acolytes!
And now, onto my GHETTO FABULOUSNESS!!!
Warning: Not for the faint of heart... Or for those of virgin ears... or for those with small animals... or for those with Puritan views... or for those who live in a bubble... or for those who don't absolutely think (or know) that I am the bomb!
And yes, I've had too much caffeine/sugar and am very slap happy right now. Maybe I should have wine too? How much can the muse take?!
Signing off before I make a total moron of myself :P
Ciao Ghetto Fabulous Muse-acolytes!
Queens of My Heart
I have only had three hours sleep. i'm exhausted. I love you all but I have no post today other than this: 
For Mrs. B in AZ: Breathe, exhale, breathe again. What you're doing today is very tough, the results will be bliss... I'm there for you in spirit squeezing your hand and hugging you tight. You are NOT alone.
For Mrs. Virgo: Thank you for being such a kind friend and as always understanding me and the things I may do (or not do). Thank you for understanding that I can't come over today and still loving me :)
For Aussie_male: Thank you for keeping me awake on my journey into the office. Thank you for caring as well about my future. *hug*.
For Mrs. B in AZ: Breathe, exhale, breathe again. What you're doing today is very tough, the results will be bliss... I'm there for you in spirit squeezing your hand and hugging you tight. You are NOT alone.
For Mrs. Virgo: Thank you for being such a kind friend and as always understanding me and the things I may do (or not do). Thank you for understanding that I can't come over today and still loving me :)
For Aussie_male: Thank you for keeping me awake on my journey into the office. Thank you for caring as well about my future. *hug*.
For everyone else: you... RULE. Thanks for reading my blog and making me feel special just by doing so...
xo
Muse
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Aloha Kapu; Forbidden Love
No quotes today, indeed no post from me today. It's not that I do not wish to write anything but I can't think yet today (lack of sleep lol) , so I'm posting a story right out of Digital Soup Online for you all today. It's paart of the Series called "Love Letters" and is simply that. The person(s) represented in these love letters is someone I've come across in my life who's moved me, but as is traditional in these letters, remains nameless. :)
Enjoy!
*****
Aloha Kapu; Forbidden Love
Aloha Kapu as I’m told is the Hawaiian expression for “Forbidden Love”. Love in all its forms is an expression of beauty, even in secret…
My love,
When I was little, I was told of a knight on a white horse. I was told that this knight loved me so much, that he would risk life and limb just to save me. I was told that this knight wanted nothing but to make me happy, no matter the risk to him. I was told this knight existed and would become my king, and I would be queen. Together we would rule the kingdoms of our hearts.
I live in that dream sometimes even though I knew it to not be real. I have met and loved before, but I hadn’t found my knight. Slowly, surely the image of the knight, once dreamt of so distinctly by me, faded. His face so rugged, yet soft, blurred through my tears as I watched him be whisked away by the breeze of reality. His eyes, so kind and full of love, blended with the blue of the sky as the storm of his passing cleared. And the white horse he rode, became a vision as the clouds roll by taking their form, teasing me. That is, until I met you.
You rode no white horse, but your eyes captivated me. The song I heard in the background, softly sung, was that of a knight’s heart. Though your face is different from that of the knight of my childhood, it is the same. My heart leapt in its desire to believe. Belief in the existence of such a fairy tale blossomed again. Your first words “M’lady” gave you away, and with reckless abandon I gave myself to the emotion of the dream. My spirit sighed at having found its mate, my heart danced with yours ecstatically, until we learned that it wasn’t to be.
There is not quite as deep a pain, as knowing that you’ve found your home but someone else lives in it. While we stand just next to each other, simply to feel each other’s presence, we know with heavy heart that it cannot be. I would never wish for pain or separation to be brought to another, and so with the distinct sound of shattering heart resonating in my ear drum, I tell you of my love and that I will not allow it to come to fruition. Together, an agreement is made to share stolen moments, where we just bask in the other’s presence, and for a time this will do. But sometime it will be the left hand of a two handed choice weighed down like the scales of justice. Which will outweigh? But again, that is somewhere in the distance and this, is right now.
My fairy tale, handed to me on wings of joy. Too swiftly, however, those very wings ripped out from underneath, causing me to tumble. But even as I fell, your voice guided me, whispering “I love you”. Giving me the strength to decide that yes, I could love in secret.
The depths of a woman’s heart hold many chambers and many secrets. Tucked away, filed under “fairy tale”, is my knight. As I approach his chapter, softly I hear the song of his heart, the whisper of many secrets shared, but one distinctly resounding in my head, “I love you”. I smile as I cry, my hand resting against the bound book of my fairy tale, knowing that indeed, I love you too.
My Aloha Kapu, my fairy tale, my forbidden love,
Your Muse
©Susan Wilson; Digital Soup Online 2006
*****
WELL WISHES AND BLESSINGS
Have a beautiful day everyone, remember that someone out there is thinking of you and hoping that you have nothng but joy today.
XO
*****
AND REMEMBER:
"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do." --Eleanor Roosevelt
Enjoy!
*****
Aloha Kapu; Forbidden Love
Aloha Kapu as I’m told is the Hawaiian expression for “Forbidden Love”. Love in all its forms is an expression of beauty, even in secret…
My love,
When I was little, I was told of a knight on a white horse. I was told that this knight loved me so much, that he would risk life and limb just to save me. I was told that this knight wanted nothing but to make me happy, no matter the risk to him. I was told this knight existed and would become my king, and I would be queen. Together we would rule the kingdoms of our hearts.
I live in that dream sometimes even though I knew it to not be real. I have met and loved before, but I hadn’t found my knight. Slowly, surely the image of the knight, once dreamt of so distinctly by me, faded. His face so rugged, yet soft, blurred through my tears as I watched him be whisked away by the breeze of reality. His eyes, so kind and full of love, blended with the blue of the sky as the storm of his passing cleared. And the white horse he rode, became a vision as the clouds roll by taking their form, teasing me. That is, until I met you.
You rode no white horse, but your eyes captivated me. The song I heard in the background, softly sung, was that of a knight’s heart. Though your face is different from that of the knight of my childhood, it is the same. My heart leapt in its desire to believe. Belief in the existence of such a fairy tale blossomed again. Your first words “M’lady” gave you away, and with reckless abandon I gave myself to the emotion of the dream. My spirit sighed at having found its mate, my heart danced with yours ecstatically, until we learned that it wasn’t to be.
There is not quite as deep a pain, as knowing that you’ve found your home but someone else lives in it. While we stand just next to each other, simply to feel each other’s presence, we know with heavy heart that it cannot be. I would never wish for pain or separation to be brought to another, and so with the distinct sound of shattering heart resonating in my ear drum, I tell you of my love and that I will not allow it to come to fruition. Together, an agreement is made to share stolen moments, where we just bask in the other’s presence, and for a time this will do. But sometime it will be the left hand of a two handed choice weighed down like the scales of justice. Which will outweigh? But again, that is somewhere in the distance and this, is right now.
My fairy tale, handed to me on wings of joy. Too swiftly, however, those very wings ripped out from underneath, causing me to tumble. But even as I fell, your voice guided me, whispering “I love you”. Giving me the strength to decide that yes, I could love in secret.
The depths of a woman’s heart hold many chambers and many secrets. Tucked away, filed under “fairy tale”, is my knight. As I approach his chapter, softly I hear the song of his heart, the whisper of many secrets shared, but one distinctly resounding in my head, “I love you”. I smile as I cry, my hand resting against the bound book of my fairy tale, knowing that indeed, I love you too.
My Aloha Kapu, my fairy tale, my forbidden love,
Your Muse
©Susan Wilson; Digital Soup Online 2006
*****
WELL WISHES AND BLESSINGS
Have a beautiful day everyone, remember that someone out there is thinking of you and hoping that you have nothng but joy today.
XO
*****
AND REMEMBER:
"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do." --Eleanor Roosevelt
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
This is your life...
Yesterday is a wrinkle on your forehead
Yesterday is a promise that you’ve broken
Don’t close your eyes, don’t close your eyes
This is your life and today is all you’ve got now...Yeah,
and today is all you’ll ever have
Don’t close your eyes
Don’t close your eyes
This is your life, are you who you want to be
This is your life, are you who you want to be
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be
When the world was younger and you had everything to lose...
~Switchfoot; "This is Your Life"
*****
Those lyrics were playing today when I crested a rather steep hill this morning and the sunlight hit my face with an almost mystical timing. The combination of the brilliant sunshine, the perfect timing with the lyrics, and the wonderment by me of where my life is and is headed almost had me tearing up. There are some moments where you just have to sigh deeply because they’re so beautiful that they’re almost profound in their wisdom. I find these moments to be times when something tells me to stop, and listen.
There are messages everyday if we listen to them. They don’t have to be neon signs flashing to get your attention; I mean they don’t even have to be spoken messages for you to hear them. Sometimes the messages are just balmy breezes refreshing your skin & spirit when you least expect them. Or perhaps the message is sunlight draping its way through the shadows finding you even as you’re hidden or mired down in darkness. They can even be the message of love offered in a simple texted hug.
Miracles happen everyday.
I don’t pretend to know all the answers to life, hell I can’t even straighten my own out sometimes. I have no idea about politics, wouldn’t know how to debate religion, and have no clue what I’m here for. But sometimes on a morning like this when something as simple as a morning drive with music can move me so, I get a glimpse of what’s important. A glimpse of what’s inherent to our very souls but that life tries to shut out. Even so, this “glimpse” is still all part of the wheel of life we’re on. I’m happy for the view today.
Sounds stupid eh?
Well for now, it’s what I feel, and I’m sharing it with you *smile*
Have a great day everyone! (I may post again later)
*****
DAILY INSPIRATIONS
Thank you for reading them. It may be silly, but I do not care. Digital Soup Online; the Blog will continue :)
*****
WELL WISHES
I've been asked why I barely separate out the well wishes. To be honest, the list got too long :P It was taking me loinger to do the well wishes section than the whole post! On one hand I would LOVE to recognize people individually, on the other Crony at work here watches me so I had to accomodate some changes ;) Iwould love to offer EVERYONE well wishes personally. I love to do it. It makes me happy to do it. So on occasion I will do them individually, but for the time being I'll send EVERYONE blessings and wishes en masse. Never fear, I care for you all :)
Today's wish for everyone: May you all somewhere, sometime today see something unexpected and beautiful. May it bring you a smile and give you a tangible memory to hold onto today and other days as needed to bring you light when you need it
XO
*****
AND REMEMBER
“A computer terminal is not some clunky old television with a typewriter in front of it. It is an interface where the mind and body can connect with the universe and move bits of it about.” ~Douglas Adams
Monday, June 26, 2006
*Yawn* *Stretch* *Pop Joints* Is it Friday yet? :P
I love you as you are and I always will love you as you are. ~Mom
I’ve yet to encounter anything more important than friends. ~Jessie Smith; Submitted by Tony, remember your friends love you.
It is not how much you do, but how much Love you put into the doing that matters. ~Mother Theresa; Reflect on your actions today. Did you fill them with love? If not, be mindful of this going forward. If yes, give yourself a hug.
*****
Monday, Monday… Well I managed to sleep through the night albeit with some awake time. All in all though I think I got more sleep than I usually do, so that’s good.
I read over the weekend that Blog Dog had a rough day/time. It’s amazing to me how much one can feel for another they’ve never met. I truly felt for him and not just because he posts in my blog. I felt for him because he shared something openly about himself, his situation… he allowed me a glimpse inside. That’s a precious thing these days.
Even in this internet world of anonymity, when someone lets you inside their life, they may take it frivolously (i.e. Oh, it’s just a blog), but it’s still a glimpse and if more people had respect for the fact that this glimpse is special perhaps we’d have less animosity and more acceptance.
Then again I could just be full of smoke. But I don’t think so.
I wish you a special wish today for a better day Blog Dog. As much as you offered your caring to me when I was down, and even though I’m late (in that this happened over the weekend and it’s Monday now) I return it to you also to brighten your day.
*****
As for me, I had a good weekend. I had company Saturday and spent the prior few days cleaning like a madwoman in anticipation of that, as well as the party I’m hosting on 7-4. The upside of this is that my house is immaculate! Literally! All my laundry is even caught up! I was so proud of it, that all day Sunday I actually did my dishes AS I USED THEM! I mean this is huge! Lol.
The downside of it, is apparently I’m not as young as I used to be or maybe I’m just too fat anymore lol. I spent the ENTIRE weekend soooo tired from all my exertions. Friday I fell asleep really early, Saturday I could barely stay awake after 9pm (sorry Sean!), and even Sunday I slept in until 11am. Now THAT’s unheard of for me.
It will be nice to not have to do major cleaning this week, but just pick up and vacuum as the party gets closer.
Well as the day at work drags on I can feel my auto pilot kicking in. So for now dear readers of my drudgery I will sign off with the usual assortment of feel good eye candy :P
And thanks Aussie_male again for giving me an awesome ride into the office. I so look forward to our chats.
Have an awesome day!
XO
*****
DAILY INSPIRATIONS
Please check out Digital Soup Online; the Blog. I would love feedback in the form of comments if and ONLY if you enjoyed what you read, if it inspired you or just made you feel good. A corner of light in this world is only as good as the light brought in *smile*. Feel free also to contribute your own story, quote or song. Thanks!
*****
WELL WISHES
For Sean, Jules, Blog Dog, Mrs. Virgo, Aussie_male, Mrs B in AZ, Kami, Mr. Uber, Mr. Quiet Strength, Elindoberry, Mr. Serenader, Cray, Kelli of Kelli’s Musings, and my mom:
I wish you all a day of happiness, light and love. May the hugs be plentiful, the kisses be sweet and the whispers of my heart to yours be like balmy breezes reviving your spirit.
For those not specifically mentioned but always in my heart, know you are thought of today and cared for everyday.
*****
AND REMEMBER:
I just found out that the brain is like a computer. If that’s true, then there really aren’t any stupid people, just people running DOS. ~ Unknown
(soo true :P)
I’ve yet to encounter anything more important than friends. ~Jessie Smith; Submitted by Tony, remember your friends love you.
It is not how much you do, but how much Love you put into the doing that matters. ~Mother Theresa; Reflect on your actions today. Did you fill them with love? If not, be mindful of this going forward. If yes, give yourself a hug.
*****
Monday, Monday… Well I managed to sleep through the night albeit with some awake time. All in all though I think I got more sleep than I usually do, so that’s good.
I read over the weekend that Blog Dog had a rough day/time. It’s amazing to me how much one can feel for another they’ve never met. I truly felt for him and not just because he posts in my blog. I felt for him because he shared something openly about himself, his situation… he allowed me a glimpse inside. That’s a precious thing these days.
Even in this internet world of anonymity, when someone lets you inside their life, they may take it frivolously (i.e. Oh, it’s just a blog), but it’s still a glimpse and if more people had respect for the fact that this glimpse is special perhaps we’d have less animosity and more acceptance.
Then again I could just be full of smoke. But I don’t think so.
I wish you a special wish today for a better day Blog Dog. As much as you offered your caring to me when I was down, and even though I’m late (in that this happened over the weekend and it’s Monday now) I return it to you also to brighten your day.
*****
As for me, I had a good weekend. I had company Saturday and spent the prior few days cleaning like a madwoman in anticipation of that, as well as the party I’m hosting on 7-4. The upside of this is that my house is immaculate! Literally! All my laundry is even caught up! I was so proud of it, that all day Sunday I actually did my dishes AS I USED THEM! I mean this is huge! Lol.
The downside of it, is apparently I’m not as young as I used to be or maybe I’m just too fat anymore lol. I spent the ENTIRE weekend soooo tired from all my exertions. Friday I fell asleep really early, Saturday I could barely stay awake after 9pm (sorry Sean!), and even Sunday I slept in until 11am. Now THAT’s unheard of for me.
It will be nice to not have to do major cleaning this week, but just pick up and vacuum as the party gets closer.
Well as the day at work drags on I can feel my auto pilot kicking in. So for now dear readers of my drudgery I will sign off with the usual assortment of feel good eye candy :P
And thanks Aussie_male again for giving me an awesome ride into the office. I so look forward to our chats.
Have an awesome day!
XO
*****
DAILY INSPIRATIONS
Please check out Digital Soup Online; the Blog. I would love feedback in the form of comments if and ONLY if you enjoyed what you read, if it inspired you or just made you feel good. A corner of light in this world is only as good as the light brought in *smile*. Feel free also to contribute your own story, quote or song. Thanks!
*****
WELL WISHES
For Sean, Jules, Blog Dog, Mrs. Virgo, Aussie_male, Mrs B in AZ, Kami, Mr. Uber, Mr. Quiet Strength, Elindoberry, Mr. Serenader, Cray, Kelli of Kelli’s Musings, and my mom:
I wish you all a day of happiness, light and love. May the hugs be plentiful, the kisses be sweet and the whispers of my heart to yours be like balmy breezes reviving your spirit.
For those not specifically mentioned but always in my heart, know you are thought of today and cared for everyday.
*****
AND REMEMBER:
I just found out that the brain is like a computer. If that’s true, then there really aren’t any stupid people, just people running DOS. ~ Unknown
(soo true :P)
Friday, June 23, 2006
Friday and I'm not sure what's going on...
While today isn’t necessarily a “bad” day (at least not like yesterday, not now, hopefully not at all today); I seem to have a sense that something not too good may be coming for me today. You know that feeling right? The one that blankets you with an almost fear like quality even though nothing frightening is going on? Or maybe it’s the sense of something speeding at you with no power to stop it? I really truly desperately hope I’m wrong. For now though all I can do is sit tight and wait. So unfortunately too, do you…
Since I am waiting for either this feeling to pass, or the event I speak of to happen I will simply offer this as a daily light (it struck me yesterday as I read it, and I thought you’d all enjoy it)
Lastly before I sign off for now; thank you to those people who went out of their way to make me feel better yesterday. Including the blogging friends I have, the real life ones, the online ones, I really felt much better by the end of the day. It truly makes a difference even if it’s just a post, or a shared sentiment. Many thanks to you all.
I’ll keep you posted as to events if and when they may unfold for me today.
*****
Permission To Simply Be
Working Through Transitions
The elation we feel when we have learned an important lesson, achieved a goal, or had a big breakthrough can sometimes be met with a period of downtime afterward. During this period of transition, we may feel unsure and not know where to turn next. Many people, during the pause between achievements, begin to wonder what their life is about. These feelings are common and strike everyone from time to time. Human beings are active creatures-we feel best when we are working on a project or vigorously pursuing a goal. But there is nothing inherently wrong with spending a day, a week, or even a month simply existing and not having a plan. Just be. It won't be long before you embark upon your next voyage of growth and discovery.
The quiet lull into we which we fall between ideas, projects, and goals can make life seem empty. After accomplishing one objective, you may want to move immediately on to the next. However, when your next step is unclear, you may feel frustrated, disconnected, or even a mild depression. You may even perceive your lack of forward momentum as an indicator of imminent stagnation. To calm these distressing thoughts, try to accept that if your intent is personal growth, you will continue to grow as an individual whether striving for a specific objective or not. Spending time immersed in life's rigors and pleasures can be a cathartic experience that gives you the time you need to think about what you have recently gone through and leisurely contemplate what you wish to do next. You may also find that in simply being and going through the motions of everyday life, you reconnect with your priorities in a very organic, unforced way.
The mindful transitional pause can take many forms. For some, it can be a period of reflection that helps them understand how their life has unfolded. For others, it can be a period of adjustment, where new values based on recent changes are integrated into daily life. Just because you're not headed swiftly to a final destination doesn't mean you should assume that you have lost your drive. The stage between journeys can become a wonderful period of relaxation that prepares you for the path that will soon be revealed to you.
Since I am waiting for either this feeling to pass, or the event I speak of to happen I will simply offer this as a daily light (it struck me yesterday as I read it, and I thought you’d all enjoy it)
Lastly before I sign off for now; thank you to those people who went out of their way to make me feel better yesterday. Including the blogging friends I have, the real life ones, the online ones, I really felt much better by the end of the day. It truly makes a difference even if it’s just a post, or a shared sentiment. Many thanks to you all.
I’ll keep you posted as to events if and when they may unfold for me today.
*****
Permission To Simply Be
Working Through Transitions
The elation we feel when we have learned an important lesson, achieved a goal, or had a big breakthrough can sometimes be met with a period of downtime afterward. During this period of transition, we may feel unsure and not know where to turn next. Many people, during the pause between achievements, begin to wonder what their life is about. These feelings are common and strike everyone from time to time. Human beings are active creatures-we feel best when we are working on a project or vigorously pursuing a goal. But there is nothing inherently wrong with spending a day, a week, or even a month simply existing and not having a plan. Just be. It won't be long before you embark upon your next voyage of growth and discovery.
The quiet lull into we which we fall between ideas, projects, and goals can make life seem empty. After accomplishing one objective, you may want to move immediately on to the next. However, when your next step is unclear, you may feel frustrated, disconnected, or even a mild depression. You may even perceive your lack of forward momentum as an indicator of imminent stagnation. To calm these distressing thoughts, try to accept that if your intent is personal growth, you will continue to grow as an individual whether striving for a specific objective or not. Spending time immersed in life's rigors and pleasures can be a cathartic experience that gives you the time you need to think about what you have recently gone through and leisurely contemplate what you wish to do next. You may also find that in simply being and going through the motions of everyday life, you reconnect with your priorities in a very organic, unforced way.
The mindful transitional pause can take many forms. For some, it can be a period of reflection that helps them understand how their life has unfolded. For others, it can be a period of adjustment, where new values based on recent changes are integrated into daily life. Just because you're not headed swiftly to a final destination doesn't mean you should assume that you have lost your drive. The stage between journeys can become a wonderful period of relaxation that prepares you for the path that will soon be revealed to you.
Thursday, June 22, 2006
Because I have nothing good to contribute today...
(AKA - having a really bad day), I'll fill this blogspace with quotes and quizzes...
**SOOOO TRUE**
I think you can tell by the volume of quizzes here, and lack of content the kind of day I'm having. it's the kind of day you just don't blog about...
Bye for now
| American Cities That Best Fit You:: |
| 75% Atlanta |
| 70% Austin |
| 60% Las Vegas |
| 55% Denver |
| 55% Honolulu |
| Your Dating Purity Score: 61% |
 You are an under-experienced dater. This doesn't mean you're unexperienced - far from it. It just means that there's a lot of romance left to discover! |
| Your 1920's Name is: |
 |
| Exotic Dancer Name Is... |
 |
| You Are Cyclops |
 Dedicated and responsible, you will always remain loyal to your cause. You are a commanding leader - after all, you can kill someone just by looking at them. Power: force beams from your eyes |
| Your Kissing Purity Score: 37% Pure |
 You're not one to kiss and tell... But word is, you kiss pretty well. |
| Your 2005 Song Is |
 Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day "My shadow's the only one that walks beside me My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating" In 2005, you bummed everyone out. Like you care. |
**SOOOO TRUE**
| In a Past Life... |
 You Were: A Lazy Fortune Teller. Where You Lived: Turkey. How You Died: Killed in Battle. |
| You Belong in 1976 |
If you scored... 1950 - 1959: You're fun loving, romantic, and more than a little innocent. See you at the drive in! 1960 - 1969: You are a free spirit with a huge heart. Love, peace, and happiness rule - oh, and drugs too. 1970 - 1979: Bold and brash, you take life by the horns. Whether you're partying or protesting, you give it your all! 1980 - 1989: Wild, over the top, and just a little bit cheesy. You're colorful at night - and successful during the day. 1990 - 1999: With you anything goes! You're grunge one day, ghetto fabulous the next. It's all good! |
| You Are The Sun |
 You represent the best of life - vitality, success, and and truth. You tend to have a strong, centered, balanced personality. Inspiration and discovery are your fortes. You are very mentally strong. A talented mind, you tend to excel at math, philosophy, and music. Your fortune: As well as you have done in the past, the future is going to be filled with more success. A new creative project is coming your way. Feed it, and it will grow into something huge. Great riches, recognition, prosperity, or happiness is coming your way. And it's possible that a fantastic vacation, or a new baby, is coming sooner than you think. |
| You are 60% Libra |
 |
I think you can tell by the volume of quizzes here, and lack of content the kind of day I'm having. it's the kind of day you just don't blog about...
Bye for now
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
WHO'S your Tomb Raider?!
I am BIOTCH!
For those of you who spoke to me last night you know what this means. Now, on to your regularly schedule blog posting :P
*****
"Naturalness is the easiest thing in the world to acquire, if you will forget yourself - forget about the impression you are trying to make." ~Writer and Self-Improvement expert, Dale Carnegie, author of "How to Win Friends & Influence People"
Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you, not because they are kind, but because you are."~Author Unknown
"You were born an original. Don't die a copy."~John Mason
*****
First note of the day: MUSINGS ISN'T SPAM!!! As determined by a blogger employee. Thank you oh blogger employee for deciding what we already know and lifting the security measures so that I can post from word again!
*****
Interestingly enough, the last quote has been posted before. But today it was in my bag again... Must be the one for the day.
In my chats with several people I've discovered the desire to make utopia skye something more than it is. I'm nearing the conclusion of these chats and approaching the time when I can actually do something about that and it fills me today with absolute JOY!
To know that something *I* thought of, even just in it's name and original design, is going to be something that has (cuirrently) and will (in the future) mean something to people makes me ecstaticly (sp?) happy. There are people I've been blessed with in my life who fill me with the absolute inspiration to continue forward with those dreams. They don't see them as pipe dreams, they see them as reality waiting to happen. And those people infuse my spirit with the possibilities. That is what I need, daily to fuel my soul. THAT inspiration, trust, love, friendship is what I need to survive.
No matter when on this earth my time may come, because of those people and the dreams they fuel. Because of the realities waiting to happen (no matter how small), I know *I* will not die a copy. And THAT today make me smile equally as much as last night did ;)
I think for right now, I will live in that spirit and wish you all a fabulous day of joy in whatever you do.
XO
*****
DAILY INSPIRATION
Digital Soup Online; The Blog
*****
BLESSINGS AND WELL WISHES
May you all be blessed today with the cheshire cat like grin that I seem to not be able to be rid of today. May you all be blessed with friends to inspire you, and it is my sincere wish today that no matter the weather, the sun always shines warming your heart.
*****
AND REMEMBER
Happiness comes when your work and words are of benefit to yourself and others. ~Buddha
Dreaming...
"Your whole life is nothing but a dream. You live in a fantasy where everything you know about yourself is only true for you. Your truth is not the truth for anyone else." ~Don Miguel Ruiz - "The Mastery of Love"
Rule Seven - Others are only mirrors of you. You love or hate something about another person according to what love or hate about yourself. Be tolerant; accept others as they are, and strive for clarity of self-awareness; strive to truly understand and have an objective perception of your own self, your thoughts and feelings. Negative experiences are opportunities to heal the wounds that you carry. Support others, and by doing so you support yourself. Where you are unable to support others it is a sign that you are not adequately attending to your own needs.
~Cherie Carter Scott – Rules of Life
Pay attention to your own needs so you can efficiently help others.
100 Ways to Be Happy and Feel Good...
1. Never put yourself last.
4. Count your blessings every day.
5. Acknowledge your successes along with your downfalls.
6. Burn the candle that has been in storage for the last two years.
8. Remember, the voice telling you that you cannot do something is always lying.
*****
The first quote today is one that a lot of people don’t get. I know I sometimes forget this. Even today as I sit here typing this I have to wrap my mind around it, even though the meaning may seem simple to others. I really like Don Miguel Ruiz’s thought process. His books are very refreshing and if you have a chance you should look into them.
Today, I’m tired … again. I fell asleep early but then woke up and couldn’t sleep soundly for a while. I think that I may have to start sleeping in the living room, not only because I’m apparently more comfortable sleeping there now, but also the air conditioner in the bedroom is broken. It wont turn on now and I cannot sleep at all with heat. I had to choose one air conditioner to be fixed because my landlord says they can’t afford to fix both (yet they’ve increased my rent…). Before it broke, I had chosen the living room one to be repaired because it had the most space to cover and cool. I leave that one sometimes 24/7. The bedroom one generally only gets turned on at night. So now, I’m only getting one air conditioner and the other which was working is now broken. I hate window air conditioning. I know it’s more expensive if central air breaks down, but window air conditioning is not an effective means of cooling space.
I have to move next year. And I’ve decided that if in a years time (technically to April because I have to plan in advance for moving arrangements and such) I can’t find another job here, then coinciding with another big decision for myself, I will move out of state in the hopes of restarting my life elsewhere. I know that sounds wrong moving without a job, but if I can’t get one here, and have the means to start over elsewhere without too much danger, then I think I should take it. I’ve never taken a big risk in my life and coming in April I will have to decide on two big risks. One would be moving, the other only a very few know about as it’s a very private very big decision.
Even though I get mired down in stagnation, I am of enough awareness to realize that I won’t be like this the rest of my life (hopefully). I know something needs to be done. I hope that continually re-evaluating where I am in life will help me stay focused on where I need to go.
*****
I sat on my deck for the first time since I’ve moved in here, two days ago. It was wonderful. I just sat and listened to the wind as it whispered around my ear blowing through my hair. Then when it began to lightly rain a FULL rainbow made me smile. I took some digital pics of it, but I’m not sure they came out. If they did, I’ll post them. The rainbow disappeared as they sky became gray with clouds, but then it came back a brilliant orange-ish red tint to all its colors. It was breathtaking. I’ve spent so much time indoors sometimes that I wonder how many such lovely rainbows I’ve missed.
I’ll have to incorporate some time on my deck now that the weather is nice and the deck is brand new.
*****
The 4th of July promises to herald a very good fireworks show. The city of Aurora always does a wonderful job and even more wonderful is that it is directly across the street from my house. I never have to leave, wander among crowds, brave bugs, find parking, seating etc. I have front row seats and for the second time since being here (yes I braved the old deck the very first weekend I moved in to view the fireworks) I will sit on the deck with a bottle of Shiraz and toast to independence. I may or may not have company, we shall see. But in any event I will celebrate the fact that people fought for our freedom back when there weren’t things like computers to give people voices as they sit behind machines. Freedom that came when people rose up and said ENOUGH. Maybe I can use this for myself and say ENOUGH.
Have a beautiful day everyone!
*****
DAILY INSPIRATIONS
Check em out at Digital Soup Online; The Blog. Feel free to contribute or not, comment, or not. Maybe just maybe we can bring some more light into this world. You decide...
*****
BLESSINGS & WISHES
~For Mrs. Virgo: you’re in my thoughts as always. Have a wonderful restful day.
~For Mrs. B in AZ: I miss you. I hope you’re well today.
~For Blog Dog: I’m glad your blog and mine have met :D I wish you a day of smiles.
~For Kelli: Thank you for continually reading my blog, I hope you have a beautiful day full of sunshine.
~For Aussie_male: You’re also always on my mind. Have a day full of peace.
~For Jules: Welcome back and know you were missed even by us bloggers ;). I wish you smiles all day today
~For Cray: I hope your summer gets better for you. I’m sending lots of love your way
~For Kami: I miss you. It seems like so suddenly the summer and the advent of your leaving for most of it is already here. You are always in my heart. I’m sending you hugs today.
~For Mr. Uber: I hope you have a day of smiles today as well. You’re being thought of.
~For Mr. Quiet Strength: I think of you often and send you well wishes every second I think of you. Today may you be happy all day.
~For Shaun: You are so close to my heart that I can’t help but love you every second I think of you too. I send you and your whole family love and digital hugs. Tell your dad I said thanks for letting me barge in and wish him a happy father’s day even though he’s not my father.
~For everyone else that may read this that isn’t specifically mentioned: As you know I think of so many people throughout the day. So many faces come to mind, so many memories. It may seem lame to wish everyone a beautiful day, or a hug or smiles but I really do wish that for everyone. For those who aren’t specifically mentioned but are in my heart, I wish you whispers of balmy breezes of peace. I wish you bright stars at night and deep restful sleep to carry you through to the next day.
XO
*****
AND REMEMBER
"The only people with whom you should try to get even are those who have helped you."
~John E. Southard
Today make it your primary goal to get even. Get even with all those who have given you a smile, or a kind word, or a reason for laughter. Get even with those who have made your day brighter, your load lighter, or the taste of life sweeter. Don't narrow your focus, either, but let your getting even be a universal act, passing along all the bits of goodness you've received to every person who crosses your path. That'll show 'em.
Courtesy of Kate Nowak; One Million Blessings Project
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