Shades of Blue
The shades were drawn tightly today
So the sun couldn’t shine through
They filtered in only miniscule light
Producing the softest shade of blue
Melancholy though I was
I preferred my solitude
Sitting on the bed so soft
Immersed in my feelings of blue
When life makes a huge change in you
You must learn again what’s true
And while you come to terms with it,
You must experience some blue.
Today my eyes are dry & clear,
My spirit has been renewed.
Though I still feel sometimes alone,
I can smile today at the color blue.
~*~*~*~*~*~
That was my entry for the Poetry Thursday poem of the week. I’ve been very quiet with respect to writing since my diagnosis, because I was afraid of what I might say. This is my first piece about my cancer. It’s not my best, but it’s what flowed without any halting stops along the way. My emotions range from the normal and accepted to the bleak and desperate. It is truly a process to discover and tend to one’s emotions in times of crisis.
In another lifetime I had sought to go back to school. I had actually gotten as far as choosing my school and my degree. I’m looking still after I recover if possible to do this… Here is a link to the school, courses and eventual degree I would be endeavoring towards.
Some may have some very strong opinion about the degree type. In my opinion, since the day I saw this class and school back in April of this year, I haven’t felt anything so “right”. So should I survive this and have recovery and years ahead of me, I intend to do this and will continue to open the wellness center (5 year goal). In the wellness center I will offer counseling on all forms of health, women’s health, and programs to help women and people who’ve been diagnosed with life threatening diseases FIND the HELP THEY NEED.
That is my goal.
I pray I get there…and I pray I never forget the way I feel about being mistreated by the health care industry when all I want to do is live. I hope that fire fuels my desire to help others for a long time.
That is my prayer.
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3 comments:
Sorry to learn about your diagnosis. Please hang in there and keep sharing through Poetry Thursday.
Sweetie! (Jengie here.) *Bug Hugs* Since reading about your recent diagnosis I have been sad and angry...why does it seem like it is always the most beautiful and giving people that end up getting diagnosed with cancer!?! I came and read your blog and, as usual, I am filled with love and inspiration by your thoughtful words. I feel nothing but hope now. I am so excited for you about going back to school. I believe you will get that degree! I believe your wellness center will come to be and help many with healing. I have some more thoughts I would like to share with you, I will send Privately to the Forums. I LOVE YOU!!!
Being a holistic health practitioner myself, your dream doesn't seem so far fetched. Good luck!
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