Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Random Memory; Successful Book & thanks :)

"Intent is a seed in consciousness, or spirit. If you pay attention to it, it has within it the means for its own fulfillment. Intention's infinite organizing power orchestrates countless details simultaneously." ~Deepak Chopra Quote is taken from: The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire

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Today's Affirmation
I intend to be the very best I can be.

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We cannot hold a torch to brighten another’s path, without brightening our own. ~Ben Sweetland
(Brighten someone else’s path today, light a candle for them.)

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I am pleased to say that the book “Candles Lit in My Heart; Words to Dispel the Darkness” is a huge success. Many thanks to those who lit candles; many thanks to those who continue to spread the love by lighting more. For you, who continue to offer peace, pray, and bring calm to the world of chaos, I will continue to make these free books. I can think of no better way to offer some peace to folks then to let them see beautiful images of things, with words and prayers offered up by folks, combined with sayings that for YEARS have been inspirational and guiding. The kicker is I have to have 30-31 prayers to do a book. I would love to do one for a full months worth of inspiration. You can get in on it by lighting candles. They don’t even have to be special, just light ones for folks you love, for your self, for strangers. It’s just your way to contribute to a big picture of universal peace. In return I will contribute back… Maybe together we can brighten up someone’s corner of the world. I know this brightens up mine.


I’m feeling much better today than I was yesterday. This is a good thing as by the time the afternoon hit yesterday I was in a fair amount of pain. I’m glad that it’s gone.

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Today’s random memory was supplied by sister.

When I was all of 4 years old, my mother took me to court after falling in love at first sight with me. She says she held me in her arms and I shyly looked out among the courtroom of people. And when they asked if I would go with this woman, I said I would but I was shy and quiet about it. Hardly the image one would think of me yes? I mean when I came to visit with her I told her in no uncertain terms “Now remember, I’m just here for a visit”. Yet somewhere along the way, I felt all the love from this woman even in my tender already cracked heart at age 4. I felt it so much that I CHOSE to be with her. The memory of this is rusty as most “good” memories for me are… Sadly mostly my memories that ring with crystal clarity are bad ones, and equally sadly there are many of those. However, today is not the day to share in them. Today is a day for love.

When my now officially mother brought me home, she first brought me to my new sister who was 4 years older than me making her 8 at the time. I do not remember how I greeted her, but I do remember her saying to my mother “Is that my sister?” almost incredulously like, WOW you left the house without her and now you have her! I always thought in the back of my mind that perhaps my sister didn’t want me. But as it turns out I am all too happy to say that I was wrong.

She did want me, and in so many ways that I just didn’t know. My sister you see was born to be a mother. Even at the tender age of 8 she knew it even if she didn’t know it consciously. She always took care of me. Even when I didn’t want it, or thought I didn’t need it, she was always there. In fact she took such good care of me that she even tried once (only … once) to cut my hair. I was so proud of her doing this. Even though after she was done I had to wear a shirt announcing that I was a girl. My sister had gotten a little too excited with the scissors and left me looking very much like a little boy ;)

Over the years as we grew up and out and for a time…apart. My sister would become at times my best friend and at others my nemesis; though none of those things was her fault or mine. It was just life, and we were both living it.

The best time of my life was just before I lost her, when we had finally become the sisters we had always intended to be. I loved her tremendously, and she loved me. We were each other’s companion and life was good.

Until the day a brain aneurysm shortened her life at the age of 24.

I was very, very sad when she was taken from this world. In fact she is the first person to get me to write again with her passing because the ache in my heart wouldn’t stop until I wrote it out. I miss her still now, but the pain is more of a persistent but slightly weaker ache. It’s more like a longing for all that could have been instead of a knife wound in the heart. When I remember her now, I barely remember the times we weren’t together. I remember the times we were one in spirit and I smile. I remember her saying “Is that my sister?” with a sense of childlike awe and admiration and I can think without pain… Yes, my dear, I always have been your sister and I always will be.

Thank you Pamela for the beautiful memories of you.

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WELL WISHES
May you look upon your siblings today those with us, and those past, and remember fondly the moments you shared where even though life thrust you together, you were still one in spirit. May that love for another fuel your love of life today.

You are a blessing to me everyday…
XO

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AND REMEMBER

Memory is a child walking along a seashore. You never can tell what small pebble it will pick up and store away among its treasured things. ~Pierce Harris, Atlanta Journal

1 comment:

Suzie Ridler said...

Oh LadyM, you have moved me to tears. I am so sorry you lost your sister. That's something we should just not have to go through. I lost my brother at an early age too, he was only 6.

I love reading how you choose your family and in all ways you did. This is why it happened that way and it sounds like a true blessing in your life.

This is 47

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